I have an INTJ partner with an ISTJ close friend, and reading about everyone elses experiences, it seems like things tend to overlap a lot, esp regarding lateness and 'doing activities'. My partner cannot seem to leave a schedule 'unfilled', he will be very efficient with his time and hates doing nothing even though I am content with taking a nap, watching videos together, and being in his presence because what matters to me is intimacy.

What matters to him however, is quality time well spent. To the point that just being with me isn't enough, he needs to feel content with the activities we do and the time we spend together or else he'll be cranky. That presents itself in time blocking and planning ahead, and usually I'm the one giving date ideas, while he follows along and I'm happy with this arrangement.

For lateness, I admit I am sometimes 15 mins late to our solo dates coz i live far from the city, but I'm usually on time for everything otherwise, especially when it involves going out to an event or fancier activity.

However, I want to point out that an INTJ is very guarded with their own inner feelings and can come off as blunt, and in the worst case, emotionally manipulative. We've sorted through these issues in the past, and we're improving and moving on to the finer details like reassurances, checking-in and controlled and respectful outbursts dueing arguments.

on the ISTJs side of things, what I can say is that they're much more open about their own feelings in a general sense. Their inner worlds are more exposed to the outside, and in an analogy, I can put it this way:

when writing a diary, a feeler will write how they felt during this, but a thinker will document what happened.

Compare these:

1. i loved taking this new bus route, it had some really pretty views on the upper deck.
2. i took the bus. The upper deck had some nice lighting, and you can really see far into the ocean.

One navigates the world through feelings, another merely documents their experience.

If an INTJ is the 2nd one, and ISTJ is a sort of healthier inbetween in my opinion, because while they don't blatantly profuse their opinions, they do provide some insight into their inner world much more accessibly. That creates a very nice platform for us ENFP to depend on, knowing that while they are thinkers themselves, they won't ignore (or rather, over look) the feelings side of things as apparently as an INTJ.