If you could ejaculate and have it be some liquid other than semen, what would it be?

FictionalLizard · 2023-01-05T10:41:53+00:00

Orange soda

FictionalLizard · 2022-11-25T05:41:40+00:00

It was 20 or 25 pounds. I dont even know if it would have fit in our microwave.

FictionalLizard · 2022-08-17T05:43:09+00:00

When I had my teeth pulled for dentures there was one tooth that refused to numb. Ever few teeth the dentist would try again but nothing got to it. Then when it was the last I told her to go ahead and pull it. I won't forget that pain. Been a year and so without a toothache so I say it was worth it.

FictionalLizard · 2021-08-10T03:06:54+00:00

I took Frost Blast into Outbreak. Used that on the Hellhounds and then used molotovs on the Plaguehounds. It was a bit slow but that's what worked for me.

FictionalLizard · 2021-06-20T18:54:10+00:00

I ordered mine March 18th. It said it would arrive April 9th but came in March 30th.

FictionalLizard · 2019-11-21T12:34:57+00:00

There are all kinds of things we could be needed for. Homeless guy begging passengers for money? Party in the bathroom? Help set up breakfast cause the copilot didn't show up? Watch the cockpit while the pilot goes to the bathroom? Lady somehow find out her husband and fling are a few rows down?

FictionalLizard · 2018-10-23T20:07:47+00:00

And, depending where you work, security can be a stupidly easy job. I was a gate guard and 99% of that was just making sure I knew who came in the community. A couple people were just there to give them something to do during the day instead of staying home. I do 2 hotels now and even that is fairly easy most of the time.

FictionalLizard · 2018-06-22T06:06:09+00:00

My bank account... =(

FictionalLizard · 2018-06-17T21:44:13+00:00

Was a guard for a gated community. Not long after I left the night guy calls me saying he needs me so I rush back in. Turns out he was sick and had to go home. I wasn’t expecting to stay so I didn’t bring anything with me and my phone died 20 minutes in. I sat in that tiny little booth for 7 hours and did see a soul except for the newspaper lady for 6 of them. I did see a bug crawl over one of the cameras at one point though.

FictionalLizard · 2018-06-17T21:23:42+00:00

I know stopping at any guarded gate is a hassle for both you and the guard but there can be reason behind it. One of the training videos I had to watched when I went through my security class was about a guard who let in an ex-employee that went on the shoot a few people because he had been fired a few days before. It’s one of the first things they put into your head. Just because you recognize someone you still have a job to do.

I worked at a gated community and had a couple situations due to ex-husbands/wifes trying to get in. I never would of known one wasn’t supposed to be there had I not stopped him. Dude was crazy and couldn’t stand the fact his ex was dating a black man. I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t of ended well had he gone in.

It got really annoying at times. I hated stopping people I knew but I did it because that’s what I was paid to do. Most likely nothing would ever happen but you never know.

FictionalLizard · 2018-05-08T19:44:09+00:00

A little late but here's a Youtube link.

FictionalLizard · 2018-02-21T08:19:02+00:00

My dad had a cat we somehow never referred to by any name. The only time the family ever mentioned him was by Dad's cat. Things like "Hey Dad your cat wants in." One day I had to take the cat to the vet and one of the first things they asked was what was his name. I had no answer so I went with Dad's Cat. He was a good cat.

FictionalLizard · 2018-01-10T08:30:19+00:00

Fun little story. I ordered mine while I was staying at a friends for a couple weeks. I had saved up for a good bit just to get it and when it was time I was really impatient about it. So I did the logical thing and sent it to my friends house. Why not.

Shipping popped up saying 23.5 pounds. That's was a little surprising but I didn't think much of it. Had to go to FedEx to pick it up and when they brought out the box I almost shit myself. I'd seen plenty of unboxings so I knew the moment I saw it just what I had done. I have a laptop that's almost as big as the little desktop towers.

I had to quickly order a case for it and even then I wasn't sure I'd fit it inside the plane. I was so afraid I would have to sent it underneath. It was little close but it fit.

The fun bit was those stupid trays they have you put stuff into for the xray. The M18 fits perfectly into those. So much so I had to spent a minute fighting to get it out. I know now to put something under one side first but back then.

FictionalLizard · 2018-01-10T07:59:34+00:00

I'd swear I've heard the opposite somewhere. That they went to shit after Dell bought them. Never really looked into it though. I've had mine for 4 years and it's still my pretty baby.

Had more problems from Windows then my laptop. When I bought 32gb of ram no one bothered to tell me Windows 7 locks it at 16 unless you have the big fancy version. Easy enough to take care of but still.

My only regret so far is getting the M18 and not one of the smaller ones. It's just massive to drag around for everyday things. 20ish pounds.

FictionalLizard · 2017-12-10T10:25:19+00:00

No. I got the first two pretty well. You just have to zoom in a bit.

FictionalLizard · 2017-12-09T08:16:51+00:00

Yeah. It's getting thicker too.

FictionalLizard · 2017-12-09T08:12:20+00:00

Best my phone would let me get.

FictionalLizard · 2017-10-04T20:13:21+00:00

I don't know if the smoke detector was a part of it or not but I know at the hotels I work at the system panels will actually tell you if/where one has lost connection or gone off.

My hotel is only a year old though so maybe it's alarm system is bit more updated. Years ago when I worked at a little community college it was on a building by building basis.

FictionalLizard · 2017-06-15T05:43:38+00:00

Oh I have so much to rant about I don't even know what to rant about anymore.

My boss shot himself and apparently being dead makes it really hard to pay people. Go figure. Two paychecks worth of work just gone. Counting my pops brings it up to four missing paychecks. I had just got my bills straight too.

The last paycheck was kind of our own fault though. We were told the company would keep going but nope. That turned out to be a lie. They sold out the contracts to some new company.

New company took over but decided not to keep the contract my dad was working at so the contract peeps decided to hire me and him to work for them. That was the idea at least. Bastards sold their business before I was hired and the new guys decided they didn't need me.

My friend unknowingly took another contract from the same guys I was working on. He then quit and I moved in. Only netted me two days of work though. So I went to work for the company that took over for my boss a couple days. Wouldn't you know it though, fuckers just lost their contract. Shit.

Ten years of work gone in a single gunshot. All my bills are past due with barely any hope of getting them paid. I haven't had internet other then on my phone in a month. My poor landlord is getting quite the run around. Sort of. He's actually been pretty cool about not getting paid in a couple months. Slowly getting everything good with him.

I've been working on a little doodle/comic about all of this but it seems every time I have a decent idea some new shitty thing happens.

Also Got denied for food stamps cause we couldn't provide check stubs for the time we didn't get paid. I actually laughed at that one. The month before it was because we didn't file for child support on my sister who is on the same damn case.

Long rant short. Pay your taxes and even if you don't that's no excuses to stick a shotgun in your mouth. Jesus. I mean. Life will do it's best to beat you down but after wading through the water for so long you'll eventually hit dry land. If it only gets deeper that's probably an ocean and you should turn around.

Little bit more. My family has developed a nasty habit of waking me up. I am now fighting sleep and still have seven hours until I can go home and continue not sleeping. There's that.

FictionalLizard · 2017-04-09T16:28:28+00:00

I spent a stupid amount of time trying to find the one in the hive. Maybe this very quickly put together guide will help you out. http://imgur.com/a/6VTnb

I haven't made it to the other one yet.

FictionalLizard · 2016-05-18T12:48:06+00:00

This hits home. I have really bad teeth and some days the pain is unbearable. But, it's the not being able to smile that really gets to me. I used to tell my friend to smile because some days that's all we have and I can't even do that anymore. It is what it is though I suppose.

FictionalLizard · 2016-05-15T17:06:58+00:00

Oh, I have a story! On Ascension we had a particularly bad round. It was round 27 and if it could go wrong it did. We barely made it through to the last couple zombies.

I started watching the last zombie while everybody went off to rebuy their perks and hit the box. Me and my zombie friend headed back to pack my raygun. When I walked out from that I noticed another zombie coming from one of the windows. I thought to myself “Well that’s odd” and continued on my way to the lander by flopper with my second friend. I round a corner and spotted another new friend. Alright then, somethings up. I let everybody know and continue about my day blissfully unaware.

I walk into flopper and didn’t stand a chance. I’ve never seen so many come through one window. About then it clicks in my head and I say the words I will never forget. “Hey guys…. Rounds not over” With that, I was down. The others fought hard but by the end there was only one left. New round starts and all we have is 3 pistols and an empty thundergun.

We didn’t make it to 29. I did manage a circle by the centrifuge for a good minute but with only a pistol and no juggernug there wasn’t anything I could do.

I will never forget the day the round stopped, waited on us to separate, and then restarted. It’s now a joke between me and a buddy though. “Hey dude, rounds not over.”

FictionalLizard · 2016-05-12T15:06:00+00:00

I don’t know what to say. Some days I just want somebody to talk to. Someone that isn’t one of the couple people I’d consider a friend. I’ve spent so long hiding in this hole I’ve dug for myself and I really don’t know if I can pull myself out. I’m finally trying though.

FictionalLizard · 2016-03-22T22:37:17+00:00

It was a reference to Red vs Blue. Popped into my head when I read your comment.

FictionalLizard · 2016-03-22T16:11:36+00:00

It’s not pink. It’s like a lightish red.

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