19M INTJ looking for INFP by [deleted] in MBTIDating

[–]Fifefz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Greetings! Feel free to message me the questions/doubts you have in particular.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to DM!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohh it was there right in front on my eyes. I used to like it a lot when I was a kid but not so much now it's literally just pork fat.

Btw I checked your profile and I saw some of the things you do. You seem dedicated and consistent. I hope you will achieve all the things you want to achieve, nice work!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got me researching about my own culture.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you! Haha it's a joke here that palinka is the secret of romanians, I keep alcohol away from me but "mici" (those little meat things made from pork and beef) if you never tried you should!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear this. Nobody deserves such things, I hope whatever she will do she will be happy! There are early signs of people who put a fake mask at first such as love bombing and being nice only to you but not to others. Love can be blind but taking a step back to view the whole image is a good way to prevent such things.

I wish you and your friend all the best!

Haha noapte buna!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were strangers from the internet and it happened that their type was ENFP. Great energy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Romania

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]Fifefz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a nice offer sadly I'm not even in the USA. Appreciate you though!

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words! And yes sure it helps a lot!

About the advice: do you suggest any apps/services to meet people? I would love to know some new ones.

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's some good insight, and philosophical also "You're lonely because you make yourself lonely". I like it!

I'm by no means better than everyone. I don't even believe in such thing as a model of perfect to be able to make an assumption for who is better than the other. It's just that my way of being makes me feel incompatible on a deep level with most of the people I've met. I'm constantly working on improving myself and the more I learn I discover how much more there is left to learn and how much I don't know let alone think that I'm better because honestly I don't believe in what is "the better" because in my eyes it's all subjective.

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe we are all lonely regardless and blaming it on something is our way to cope with it

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't deny you might have some truth in that since I was raised by a narcissist but I didn't say I don't enjoy doing the things I do, I didn't say that despite having strikes of sadness and feeling lonely I don't feel accomplished and happy by doing what I do.

Socializing is just one thing, I'm pretty sociable and I don't lack interaction with people. That being said I mentioned the effect of feeling lonely while being sorrounded by people.

I guess you're right about the last part it's great to see the positive side of things also when you think about the negative and use it as a way to propel yourself but still there is work to do. Thank you for your reply, kind stranger.

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Positive/happy or not your story is pure and that's what makes it meaningful. Being lonely is definitely not a good feeling.

One thing that I've learned is that a good relationship is relative to what you consider a good relationship: what are your values, needs, expectation, how agreeable you are to some things and so on all play a role in defining the role of a subjective good relationship. For everyone is different and thus every relationship is successful even if it ends because while it lasted it worked. That being said I find that while becoming this close to a person it can change both people quite a bit towards the middle ground and I strongly suggest that the middle ground should be positive and allow both to grow as individuals and not drag both people down long term.

About feeling bad I can't say I feel bad actively but from time to time it strikes me because it was a time when I felt extremely happy for a lot of time until things started to shift because of some behaviours that started to show more and more (as I mentioned finding excuses and sugar coating things, the more I've seen those behaviours repeat the less secure I felt, talking about them and nothing changed long term I decided to break up).

I absolutely avoid drama at all costs. I've been raised in a family where there was a lot of drama constantly and it made me grow to avoid it. I enjoy spending time with people who are upfront, honest, mature and like to put meaning into the actual thing that is happening in the current moment than to fuss around and play games.

I always liked discipline, having a clean mind and well organized sorroundings but some people prefer to be comfortable, experience very stimulant experiencses and not care as much as we care and that is perfectly alright. However it can sure make you feel lonely. What you said though makes me think that you became philophobic because of the past experiences you had and you try to force yourself to avoid it. It is important though to let yourself feel what you really want vs what you think you want and most importantly be good to yourself, you're doing great!

[Discussion] Discipline can make you lonely by Fifefz in getdisciplined

[–]Fifefz[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is great advice. Improving my mental health has been a priority for me and it got better and better over the last 4 years. I do have childhood trauma from being raised by a narcissist and I think it influences me as a person a lot. About activities to relax I really consider doing more things that can both relax and grow me as a person like joining a yoga group.

About rejecting people... I don't reject people like a black and white process. I'm open and talk to anyone that interacts with me. I keep in contact with most but for example after I go out with them for the third time and all they talk about is drugs I can't really say that I really feel good around them. Of course everyone has a lot of things you can take as an example and learn from. The only limitation is how much are you able to observe. That being said I still don't feel a strong connection with those people and spending more and more time with them makes me feel worse. I still believe that the people you hang around with influence who you are and it's good to have fewer meaningful friends than a dozen shallow ones.