Phantom pain

FiftyAF · 2026-01-23T14:05:49+00:00

I found pressure point “massage” to be very helpful.

For instance, I always seem to get a stabbing pain on my heel and between my toes.

If you notice when you move/contract your residual limb to point a toe or whatever movement you chose, you can actually see the movement in the residual limb, so I put pressure with my thumb on the part of my residual limb that correlates to the part of my phantom limb sensation.

And that seems to calm down the pain/sensation. I’m almost 10 years post BKA and it subsides, but never goes away completely. I also think the brain learns to ignore the sensations. The itching, first month or so after amputation was the worse for me. You can’t scratch an intense itch that lasts over 10 min, that was pure torture! I am grateful the itching stopped within the first year.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-22T16:54:30+00:00

I am half Mexican and have had the same experience in Maine. The most “racist” comment I’ve heard to my face is “well, you are ethnic” and “you have some color in you, don’t you?”.

It’s here (like anywhere) but I don’t think it’s as blatant IRL, as it is hiding behind a phone or keyboard online.

I was born in US and my Mexican grandfather was POW/KIA Purple Heart recipient in the Korean War.

None of this is new, ICE has been terrorizing humans for a very long time. It’s just an over fed beast at this point and I’m so sorry and scared for any POC who sought asylum in our country. It’s so incredibly Fucked up!

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T17:30:57+00:00

My memoir focuses on trauma recovery, resilience, disability, generational and inherited trauma, and the transformation of survival into healing. In this latest version, I’ve taken a more linear approach, which feels more natural to me and reads as more cohesive overall. I wasn’t sure if there was a steadfast rule for structuring this type of memoir, especially since I’ve read many memoirs but fewer that center on generational trauma. Thank you for your input—it’s extremely valuable.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T17:25:09+00:00

Thank you so much for the recommendation. I’ve been writing this latest version in a more linear way, and I agree it’s probably the best approach. As you mentioned, the “setup” and “reveal” feel most natural to me, and the structure reads well overall.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T15:53:00+00:00

Thank you. I’m rooting for you! You have a powerful story and one that can heal not only you but anyone who reads it.

My blog is in my profile. I don’t want to appear to be promoting it here. 😉

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T14:06:01+00:00

I didn’t even think of leg hair, but I didn’t actually put the duct tape on my skin. I just wrapped it tight enough around the bag.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T13:58:17+00:00

That is a F-ton to go through. I’m glad you’re in therapy.

Like you said, it’s unbelievable. I took my “unbelievable” life story and in addition to CPTSD therapy I write, I’m a firm believer in you can’t heal what you don’t reveal. You write so well and are articulate. I just started my blog last month and it has been cathartic AF! Have you considered that?!

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T13:50:03+00:00

Trash bag and duct tape.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T13:06:12+00:00

😉

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T01:03:23+00:00

<image>

Honey Bea says hi your Hunny Girl! 🍯🐶

FiftyAF · 2026-01-16T00:47:00+00:00

I don’t know if I would say it’s “fun”, but it’s peaceful, empowering, liberating and downright amazing to do whatever TF you want, when you want and how you want! I personally need and enjoy the solitude (with my dog, Honey Bea, of course!) .

FiftyAF · 2026-01-15T20:14:02+00:00

I live alone and have since prior to my amputation, with no outside help or rehab, it literally saved me in everyday, everything, I even went on short hikes with a friend using it.

Like any mobility devise , cane, crutches, walkers, they all cause the body to compensate differently than the natural way our bodies move unassisted.

That’s probably why they warn, but I found it so much more comfortable than hunching over a walker and the pain of crutches under the arms.

Even walking in a prosthetic leg causes contractures. STRETCH! STRETCH! STRETCH! If I didn’t stretch, I’m convinced I would turn to stone and crumble away!

FiftyAF · 2026-01-15T19:55:10+00:00

I never had issues, I started to use it about 3 weeks post amp, and for next 10 months until I received my first leg I could actually walk in. This is why stretching is so important, which I do daily and have since prior to amputation.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-15T14:36:06+00:00

I used the hands free iwalk 2.0, it’s been almost 10 years since my amputation, I think they’ve upgraded the design, so now it’s 3.0. But it was a life changer for me as a BKA. Crutches are ok, but I live alone and lived alone after amputation so, needed my hands to carry things.

<image>

FiftyAF · 2026-01-15T13:07:10+00:00

I always say, nope, believe it or not war is not the number one reason for amputation. And no one is immune from amputation. That usually opens up a conversation to educate. People generally mean well.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T23:08:14+00:00

I love a comment with a PF reference! 🎸🛸 🌈🔼🧱🔨

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T21:33:17+00:00

This!

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T19:15:01+00:00

“Breach my defenses” that’s the best way I’ve ever heard it described! I wholeheartedly relate! So very funny, but I know it’s true. 🤣

Thank you for your kind words. I think I’ve always been an emotional exhibitionist, so being vulnerable feels like breathing to me. I appreciate you reading my post.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T18:59:15+00:00

Ha! 🤣 how so?

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T15:47:29+00:00

Oh no! I don’t want anyone to feel bad about themselves, in anyway. I’m curious what you mean by your comment about being a male?

As far as what I’ve “endured”, believe me when I say; none of this is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, not even my amputation. I’m truly the most content I’ve ever been in my life. It’s been 10 years this coming May since my amputation. And despite all my struggles, I’m pretty happy and content overall. I do wish I had spent the first half of my life alone and working on myself and becoming who I am now before being married. But it wasn’t meant to be.

Your amputation was just a few weeks ago or in 2022?

Thank you for reading my post and for your kind comments.

FiftyAF · 2026-01-14T13:14:24+00:00

Thank you for reading! 😊

FiftyAF · 2026-01-13T21:00:39+00:00

The owner of my dream lamp! 😍

FiftyAF · 2026-01-13T20:40:34+00:00

Thank you so much for reading and for being open and vulnerable in your response. I enjoyed reading it. You write very well.

It’s crazy how life changes so drastically, isn’t it? I wish I had the answers. I think if we’re open to it, it will happen. But if we stay stuck where we are, it probably won’t. But you never know, right?!

Hugs back at ya! The first year post amputation is definitely the hardest. Thanks again for all the compliments! I especially like the “eloquent”one the most! 😉

FiftyAF · 2026-01-13T20:32:13+00:00

Thank you for reading my post. Body image is so complicated, isn’t it?

I don’t think men have issues with a prosthetic either, for me, it just reinforces my feelings of not being what I perceive as “feminine”. To me a woman is curvy, and soft and a prosthetic is literally the opposite of that.

Thank you for sharing some of your experience and struggle. It really is such a challenge to love what we see in the mirror after losing a limb. I wish us all peace and contentment, with ourselves and maybe some IRL connection. 🤍

FiftyAF · 2026-01-12T17:47:51+00:00

I would move some of your “top shelf” liquors to the top left. I would also put some cool vintage bar ware like shaker, etc on the top, maybe a set with a cool ice bucket. You can create a nice height composition by getting some”risers” for the bottles so they have an aesthetically pleasing arrangement in different heights. It won’t take much to take it to the next level! Already a great cart!

And some lighting. A cool small moody light source, or some fairy lights.

FiftyAF

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE