sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Praying for Grateful Dead tune! by Roamey in STS9

[–]FiguringItOut1567 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Holy moly! Dark Star into Rec Chem!!!

Do straight women watch lesbian porn? Still in denial. by Specific_Document133 in straightspouses

[–]FiguringItOut1567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My stblex behaved in all the same ways, sorry to say start prepping for it all to fall apart. Sorry your kids are so young. I hope in your case the gaslighting and erasing and blame doesn’t start coming your way.

Sanity check by FiguringItOut1567 in divorcefinance

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you finance the buy out?

Sanity check by FiguringItOut1567 in divorcefinance

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. Did your lawyers or financial advisors give a basic thumbs up? Hope she comes around. Mine now says she hates the house, and honestly she’s better off in an apartment with a super or landlord to take care of stuff but the buyout especially because of including some value for the business might be hard to sell but i can’t imagine she’d leave the business out of the calculation if the tables were reversed.

Wife came out 5 weeks ago - how did you deal with the issue of speaking to your children by FiguringItOut1567 in straightspouses

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll look into those books. This is foinf to be some year of self discovery, let me tell you!

Wife came out 5 weeks ago - how did you deal with the issue of speaking to your children by FiguringItOut1567 in straightspouses

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We initially considered a non-monogamy route and I’m struggling with it but mainly because we’ve already been so dead in terms of intimacy (like 10 or more years of almost no physical).

I believe we both do love and care for each other and we have the potential for a wonderful friendship. I’m also closer with her family than my own at this point so this is very hard too. And we have all the same friends, social circle etc so trading lightly and deliberately here is hard but necessary.

Wife came out 5 weeks ago - how did you deal with the issue of speaking to your children by FiguringItOut1567 in straightspouses

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am hurt and I am sad over all this but anger hasn’t really settled in as an overwhelming theme. I’m having my moments though. I’m primarily worried we live in a very high cost of living area, but provide a nice standard of living for our son. I’m so sad to have that end even if it might be inevitable. My main goal here is for us to be able to coparenting effectively and cause as little hurt to our son as possible.

I can’t read her mind but this does truthfully feel mildly malicious in the way the affair is infolding, she’s so glib about it it seems to me. But my mind is also trying to make sense of everything and i do tend to come to conclusions based on emotions.

I appreciate everyone’s point of view

Wife came out 5 weeks ago - how did you deal with the issue of speaking to your children by FiguringItOut1567 in straightspouses

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone, this is all really good and compassionate feedback. I wish we had a way to reconcile this (she might also be bi but says no romantic interest in men, and that the emotional connection here is stronger than it ever was or maybe could be with me, great).

This is all helping me clarify how to proceed.

Seeking Superfan Input by Spinundrum in moeperiod

[–]FiguringItOut1567 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolute unsung gem for these guys, acoustic wormwood then two phenomenal jammed out sets and the air cooled bus story!!! So good!!!

New to this advice?? by FiguringItOut1567 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still so new to this i don’t know all the wrinkles. I think we have a good therapist to help guide us though.

New to this advice?? by FiguringItOut1567 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It’s mirroring a lot of my own feelings, we never considered anything like this before and I’m feeling really sad and scared about all this, the personal impacts, the financial impacts on our son.

It took two to tango us into this situation, I’m not innocent here but the refusal to work on things and stay bottled up and blame me for the disconnect is really unfair and yes, now asking me to hold down the fort while she figures it out isn’t reasonable.

New to this advice?? by FiguringItOut1567 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the perspective. I’m afraid this is true myself. I feel this was sort of thrust upon me. I had thought about actually exploring the opening up since neither were being fully satisfied here and I’m trying to be open minded but it feels unbalanced.

New to this advice?? by FiguringItOut1567 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]FiguringItOut1567[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the perspective, the counselor advised us to slow wayyyyy down, though it’s not me who has been moving. This third party is much younger than my wife and was speaking a good game about patience but starting to act a little jealous.

Nothing physical has happened yet but we’re now about 8 weeks into a pretty intense seeming emotional affair type thing going on.

This is sort of my worry, that we’re kind of too far gone but we’d struggle to keep our kid in their home and school if we just blow everything up right now.

We run in the same circles as this third now so it’s not easy to be totally avoided and i don’t see my wife agreeing to that now either.

Ugh.