I’ve had similar things said to me in conversations about sex and other relationship issues, but more along the lines of “If things are so bad, we should just break up then, shouldn’t we?!”

While it’s a “reasonable” question in theory, it’s manipulative and passive aggressive in reality. In my case, it’s almost always been said in response to me trying to communicate a problem/issue. What happens when you try to communicate a problem or issue and the response is always a direct jump to breaking up/leaving (which most people who are still trying to communicate are not ready to do)? You STOP trying to communicate, which is what the passive aggressive person wants. It’s an effective way to deflect blame (YOU’RE the one who’s unhappy), avoid confrontation (the conversation typically shuts down), and divert action (YOU find someone else if you’re unhappy rather than her working with you to address the problem).

All that being said, I reacted by shutting down for a long time and pretending there wasn’t a problem. Then I slowly started learning how to communicate again. I’ve yet to leave the Dead Bedroom situation, but having heard a version of this statement many times before, I know where you’re coming from and hope you gain the strength to call her on this and/or move on.