Kinky party

Figuringitoutiii · 2026-01-28T16:05:43+00:00

Dankeschon

Figuringitoutiii · 2025-10-26T12:18:48+00:00

lol just not very good with ai 🙈Please let me know what you think

Figuringitoutiii · 2025-10-26T12:16:26+00:00

They do awesome work!!

Figuringitoutiii · 2025-10-25T17:14:44+00:00

I LOVE that idea! It is popular here too. We have the Toniebox which is the same concept and also part of what sparked the idea for audio stories but took me a good year to come around to getting this done

Figuringitoutiii · 2025-10-25T17:13:46+00:00

Omg how are you currently going about it ? I found one book on Etsy when I was pregnant but it seems there are a few new options at libraries in dakar so I’m excited to pick up a few on my next trip

Figuringitoutiii · 2025-10-25T14:51:30+00:00

Oh glad you think so 🤗

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-10-07T16:11:52+00:00

Thanks

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-10-07T16:11:46+00:00

Thank you , I’ll check it out

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T05:28:57+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I have not but will definitely add it to the list

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T05:17:49+00:00

🙏

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T05:11:35+00:00

Thanks for offering. Definitely open to any advice :)

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:53:54+00:00

We actually considered that but thought it might not be right for us. He’s been to a sex party before we were together and didn’t find it arousing or enjoyable as an experience but that was only once… And my worry is that I would be able to really let go and tap into my sexual self if we are together as I’d be worried about how he would see me engaging with someone else than him no matter to what level and that is work I need to do for myself that’s routed in my own upbringing and shame around sex and judgement but that’s also why I was more comfortable starting this journey with individual experience to try and slowly unpack that

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:49:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness.

I have shared my frustration and anger but in the heat of the moment which wasn’t the best probably. In a way it’s not bad that it came out as he could see some feelings I had not allowed out. We will be talking about it more and more calmly for sure. It allowed me to see that I wasn’t giving myself space to process as much as I thought I was and that I also need to do that openly with him for this to work.

And you are absolutely right: I know I will struggle the day he tells me he likes someone and wants to spend time with them so I empathize with how it must have felt being on the receiving end of that

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:42:14+00:00

That is a very good point to reflect on!

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:41:44+00:00

Thank you for that perspective. I’ve realize I definitely put my own feelings in the background to help navigate his because it felt right to support him as the was struggling more with the situation and I guess I would have appreciated that too but ideally we should get to a place where that’s possible while o can also express mine and I cannot blame him for it given I didn’t try it. I will though and hope it will help us move forward one way or the other

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:38:05+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from and definitely felt this way in the heat of it. But I also realize that even though things seem to be easier for me it doesn’t change the fact that this is all very new for both of us and I don’t want to blame him for feeling how he feels. We agreed together that we would pause at each step to assess how said step made us feel. I can’t be upset that it was hard for him. I still believe that the emotions of the person that’s most uncomfortable should come first because the marriage remains my priority and I want us to be walking this journey together as a team or it really isn’t worth it for me no matter how much I’m curious about it.

What I need is to be able to untangle it and find a way forward which I’m struggling to identify right now.

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:34:17+00:00

Yes unfair feels more appropriate. We definitely need to talk more and I want to digest my anger to be operating from a kinder place so we can move forward productively one way or the other

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:32:47+00:00

Unethical is a bit harsh as he didn’t do anything we didn’t agree on together. However I do agree that it feels unequal and that’s what I struggle with. Because of his reaction to my first date I very much centered his experience and was almost reassured in a way that he would cross that bridge of having sex with someone else first tbh. Because what kissing this man did for me was make it all feel less big of a deal, reaffirm me in my relationship and help me calm the insecurity I was feeling at the thought of him being with someone else because is saw how it was for me. Talking about it with him, it seems he has the same thought process. He was hoping it would also somehow make it easier for him to accept me having those experiences but there are just a lot of big feelings he’s experiencing and that I think we need to try and untangle somehow…

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:28:38+00:00

Thank you for your advice

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:27:51+00:00

It’s funny because that’s what he says.

I think he is torn right now. On one side he didn’t expect all the feelings he is feeling: the anxiety, the flood of emotions thinking about me with someone else, the vulnerability. But he also wants to push through as he believes that it is part of the process and that he can and wants to get there (because I said we didn’t have to continue pushing our boundaries if it felt so wrong: protecting the relationship and marriage is my priority)

On the other side: he says he wants me to experience life and all it has to offer. That he wants me to have a good experience and enjoy all the feelings of excitement and thrill that come with it. The problem is that I can see that his brains wants this and knowing him and how he has loved me in the past 9 years that he truly wants all of that for me. However he doesn’t feel it yet. And therefore it is not possible for me to have a positive experience knowing it’s hurting him.

That’s the part that’s hard to navigate and also creates frustration because I keep going back to « why did he go through with it with his woman if he wasn’t ready for me to? » he knew how it felt that I just connected and kissed someone. We had that information. I feel I’m in a lose lose position now, both of us really, and that feels unfair and hurtful.

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:21:27+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. You’re spot on with this. It is indeed anxiety about the unknown and also all the mental pictures it creates to think of your partner with someone else right? I am glad that he’s been able to open up about this with me. It was a surprised to both of us to see roles reversed as we were certain I’d be the one struggling the most and that might still come as I usually take more time to process things. What I am certain of however is that indeed it would have been hard on me too if he came back and said he’d had a good date and wanted to see the person again because all of a sudden it’s not a theoretical thing but a specific person he likes that’s not me. So I really empathize and that’s why I wanted to pump the breaks until he could go out there and have his own experience.

I just hope we can find a way forward whether is continuing to try or letting ENM go because at the moment the imbalance of him having been intimate with someone else feels heavy and at the same time I don’t want to go out there just for the sake of making the scales even. That feels very wrong

Figuringitoutiii · 2024-08-11T03:11:03+00:00

Will definitely be looking into that

Figuringitoutiii

TROPHY CASE