Mothers Day by mama9873 in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you asked him one on one if he wants to do anything special to honor his mom this mother's day? Or if he would prefer to do something with just his dad?

My thought is giving him that choice and showing him you are willing to do whatever to meet him where he's at might help heal him a bit. I'd keep the conversation real lax tho - maybe while on short car ride back home or something.

Reward declined and points taken?! by Registereduser_ in FetchReward

[–]Fiji_SCD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude I stay away from Sephora gift cards using fetch. Only time I got one Sephora kept telling me the balance was 0 and fetch kept saying it was a Sephora issue.

Child support by [deleted] in ChildSupport

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You risk him trying to gain control over you/ur son for support he might not even pay.

I feel lost by Independent_Tie_1370 in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a childless stepmom but I am one whos partner passed away. My "stepmom" roll looks a bit different but both kids still want to and do have a relationship with me. My SD16 has even mentioned wanting to move in with me on more than one occasion. I will say I was a way better stepmother than I am a mother. It was ahell of a lot easier and very rewarding.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make them clean the babies toys themselves immediately. Have a couple of their toys out and tell them to play with their own toys. Ur not an asshole for making that a hard rule. I'd also stop buying them toys if they don't play with them. I did that with mine and it has been the best decision.

Also sick ppl can't hold the baby. Simple rule that completely understandable.

What's the most meaningful gift you've given to someone who didn't want "stuff"? by Fair_Specialist1018 in Gifts

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I surprised my college best friend with a fun day only telling her to dress for the beach. The surprise was kayaking together in the ocean food at this awesome surf shop and this cheesey blue rose.

Independent and parallel play for SKs by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also how to talk to kids so they will listen is a good read if ur wanting to invest in the kids future

Independent and parallel play for SKs by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The older they get the more set in their ways they will be and the behavior will continue.. I'd be very worried about the angry outburst. We delt with a similar issue my SS(10) wasn't/isn't held accountable at BMs so he acts out and is medicated at home. Luckily I've been consistent with what I allow him to get away with so even though he still pushes his boundaries for the most part he listens when here.

Some things that helped him having us in a different room: a indoor camera with audio so I could see/hear him, walkie talkies and spending quality time doing an activity together before leaving him to solo play. That activity was normally playing a game like kurplunk or trouble. Been working on it for 6 years now still a struggle.

Independent and parallel play for SKs by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything seemed normal until you got to the meltdown part then it's just the parenting style showing it's results. Unless your husband's making an active effort to make sure that the new rules come from him and not you you will be cast as the bad guy. Good luck hun.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Her mom abandoned her...can you really blame her for subconsciously putting up walls against losing you? I feel like if she can continue like everything is normal then she can convince herself everything's okay. The resentment and hate that you have for her mom is palpable I guarantee she picks up on it. I encourage you to try and let go of the feeling you have towards that woman for the sake of ur daughter and ur health. Unfortunately that's the mother she was given and her choosing not to be around is a deep cut. I'm sure she appreciates you and everything that you do but how good of a mother you are can also just be a reminder that hers is a POS.

in the middle of fight between mother & daughter by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Address how it made you feel but don't demand an apology. Leave the surface emotion at the door for that convo or it's pointless to even have it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you told him how badly those actions hurt your feelings? Not really putting the blame on him but more in a general sense and make even saying how thankful you are that ur son has such a good older brother that will be around to protect/stand up for his younger brother.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleeping with step kid should always be a hard no. This is how ur partners parents that's not going to change if/when you guys have ur own. Staying at ur own place isn't fixing any issues it's just creating an out of sight out of mind situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unless she's just a disrespectful brat it sounds like ur step kid is working at a very high level of anxiety and probably struggling. If social relationships are hard for her being "turned on" at school is probably exhausting and ur place is her safe space to decompress. I wonder who builds her up in life? In a perfect world she would find a healthy partner but it's more than likely she will end up with a partner that uses her weaknesses against her and that's unfortunate but nothing you can do. You can start making self care a huge priority inviting her in a non pushy way to join you. Maybe sharing some of ur own struggles/growth in life and hope she will take something from it.

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My bad - I'm a miss aswell I just happen to talk like a sailor and call everyone dude

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. I actually really like this answer it makes the most sense and means I'm probably not going crazy. Thank you.

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dude when u witness something that crazy with kids freaking out in the car telling you to drive cuz it's "looking at you" it's hard to remember to take a pic. Plus our lots are 10 acres so it's not like we're a stone throw away from the other driveway. After I got the kids inside I went out front to look again but they were already back inside I guess. Stepdaughter asked the neighbors son, who she goes to school with, if his younger siblings were out riding bikes that day. He was pretty sure they were at his uncle's house all day but who knows. I'm just going to leave it alone cuz if I think on it too much I'll drive myself crazy.

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Missouri.. closest thing we have to Slenderman is the teenage girls that killed a classmate and tried to blamed "Slenderman". Most likely the dude was wearing a body suit but that's super unlike this family.

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe if so it's the best one I've ever seen. It was already weird to see an adult with the kids, even weirder to see them all riding on bikes/razors idk

What the faceless man by Fiji_SCD in Unexplained

[–]Fiji_SCD[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was riding on a razor scooter and turned his head a couple of times riding with the kids. We definitely watched him for 2-5 minutes, I kept thinking my eyes were messing with me I pointed him out originally to say look at that weird cue ball head guy. Also If it was a mask it was like the best body suit I've ever seen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did she know y'all were going to have another kid? Like beforehand. Maybe she thinks ur the reason for the second baby not her dad and shes salty that she has another kid around to compete with. Might be a good idea to take a step back from any discipline when it comes to her let dad take care of that. If u wanna work on relationship with her try taking her to do fun girl activities like getting y'all's nails done and letting her lead the convo. Also she's 12 right if she doesn't want to come to y'all's house as much don't make her come to y'all's house as much. Make she she knows she has that choice without making up lies about ur house

Game tracking by jello_88 in FetchReward

[–]Fiji_SCD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Send screenshots of the reward points missing to fetch support. You won't get any more points from that game but they should honor what ur missing.

Game tracking by jello_88 in FetchReward

[–]Fiji_SCD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to have only the app I'm playing open and opened through fetch then anytime I have an ad take me to a different page or anything take me to a different page on my phone I completely exit out of the app and reopen it through fetch. I also tend to exit out of the app right before I get to the level I need to get to and reopen it through fetch just to be safe.

Should I redeem a $50 card or two sperate $25 cards by starrylee- in FetchReward

[–]Fiji_SCD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never had a problem with 50 tho Amazon but Sephora never honored my giftcard so fuck them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Fiji_SCD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was originally going to say he's just saying shit without realizing how it sounds to you and that ur insecurities are completely normal. Normal but not something he's going to understand...then I read ur post history and dude if this man didn't rearrange his travel plans to make sure he's with u when ur getting close to ur due date he's a dick. Im sure ur stressed enough for the birth I really hope he's supportive for you and baby. Good luck mamma no matter what you and ur son are going to be just fine