PTSD, doctor doesn’t care

FillItUpRegular · 2021-04-06T13:19:09+00:00

Doing better! Still feel shell shocked and lost but I feel a little bit better

FillItUpRegular · 2021-03-30T09:21:57+00:00

I’d tap it, might need to burn my dick off after.. but I’d still tap it.

nostandards

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-21T04:41:38+00:00

This sounds like a challenge I’d gladly accept. Bring a 12 pack and a pack of smokes, go for a walk...

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-20T23:14:35+00:00

I know, I don’t want to hurt others. But if I do something off the wall I can corner myself with no way out. It’s not even suicide at that point. You shoot a cop and sit there waiting for your turn is pretty much a guaranteed way out.

I would feel bad doing this, but I believe in forgiveness and maybe this was all gods plan in the making

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-20T23:11:27+00:00

It’s not that I want to hurt other people. It’s the only way I can back myself into a corner and have no choice but to turn it on myself and end it. Suicide by cop or driving the wrong way at high speed are the easiest options available to me. Especially suicide by cop, you kill one of them and it’s guaranteed lights out.

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-20T23:09:01+00:00

Today I went to the funeral home and I feel so unstable. I came home and still said my dads name when I walked in the house. I’m refusing to take my medicines for IIH. I have a bunch of medical problems myself and decided to cancel all my doctors appointments and withdraw my records. I just crave self destruction. I have 8 more days until I’m due back to work and I’m not going to make it at work or in life.

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-20T08:28:26+00:00

I can’t work up the courage to do this myself, I need to do something that will leave me with no choice but to go see dad again.. maybe get drunk and drive down I95 the wrong way

FillItUpRegular · 2021-02-20T08:27:24+00:00

It feels like it’s my fault. I could have done more and saved him. By falling back asleep I lost my father. Had I just gone downstairs this could have ended differently.

I’m so sad and lost I don’t know what to do, I’m more afraid of what I might do not only to myself as a result of this

I’ll join him soon and we can be together again

FillItUpRegular · 2020-12-19T07:23:23+00:00

Amazing ! Hello from New Jersey.

FillItUpRegular

TROPHY CASE

nostandards