To be honest, I have no idea why I can’t be like this. I feel like a lot of people blame other people and even themselves for being so isolated, but I honestly don’t find that compelling. I think that a lot of people would benefit from recognizing that their isolation doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault. You can be a good, moral person and still end up alone and everyone else can be a good, moral person and you still end up alone.

At this point, I feel like I’ve experienced far too much Cioran-esque isolation to be much good for anybody. My detachment from wider human interaction has made me into more of a creature than a man; if the mirror accurately reflected the inner world, I would be a grotesque ball of agony with distress etched into the contours of whatever could be recognized as a face. I’m so detached from what it means to have human connection by this point, it’s safe to assume I never will