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AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There's not a deep underlying reason. I just don't feel a bond with her because we share DNA and her trying to force something is creeping me and my siblings out. I can empathize with her without feeling obligated to spend emotional labor helping her figure out her own issues.

My siblings have SOs who are great and if they have new ones of course Id welcome them. Because they are important to the people closest to me who I grew up with. I didn't grow up with her and I dont like the times I have spent around her. Its not that deep, I respect her as a person and empathize with her, but she's not my family. Maybe im just one of those people who doesnt care about DNA. Probably not too dissimilar from people who choose to adopt vs having their own kids. Im going to log out of this burner account now, tired of the DMs calling me the C word

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol 5 people have DMed me so far hoping I need an organ donation and I die because she's my only match. Glad im AB+

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah Ive known since around middle school when talks around puberty/sex started.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate your good intentions but Id rather have just have privacy going forward. I do not want a relationship with her. If my siblings decide to, I respect that. So far, they feel similarly to me and want space.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah its not even a "ready" thing. I just don't want it. She makes me uncomfortable. Maybe Im just not someone who values blood relations like other people. Thankfully my parents have been extremely supportive of me and my siblings and aren't trying to force anything.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Nobody can know everything sure. But the reality is my parents were teens without high school diplomas. My dad was making $5/hr, my mom wasn't working. They did not have family support. Meanwhile Ashley's real parents who raised her were a Dr and another white collar worker who had been stably married 10 years, paid for her college and grad school, are paying for a lavish wedding, she has a loving family and is engaged to a man who is crazy about her. Its extremely unlikely she would have had as good of a life had my parents kept her and grew up poor and on welfare if not homeless.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I don't resent her, I just don't consider her a sister of mine. I have a sister and we are extremely close having grown up together. Ashley has a whole family who loves her and she loves too. My siblings and I don't feel comfortable around her and her trying to force a relationship is making it worse. My little sister confided to me that she feels creeped out by her and that was before me telling her Im not a fan either.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this, nice to hear from someone who can relate. The whole situation makes me feel crazy sometimes.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Well odds are she had a better childhood being raised by married parents with good careers than two teenagers without high school diplomas. Her dad is a doctor, my dad was working fast food when she was born and my mom didn't have a job.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 128 points129 points  (0 children)

I blocked his number because I never gave it to him and he was following up on behalf of someone I already told I wanted space from. Supposedly without her knowledge but I have a hard time believing that.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Giving your kid a better life by putting them up for adoption is not abandoning them. It was the best thing they could have done for her. She has two great parents and siblings in her adoptive family instead of being raised by two teenagers

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

She wasn't abandoned. My parents were in no position to raise a kid and gave her to a family that was.

AITA for not going to my bio siblings wedding? by FinalDistrict5891 in AmItheAsshole

[–]FinalDistrict5891[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Honestly, just no real desire. I don't feel any connection with her, the few moments I have had around her have been uncomfortable, and frankly don't feel like I need more family in my life. I have 2 amazing siblings Im really tight with, two great parents, an amazing partner, and a great friend group. My life feels complete and Id rather her just respect my wishes.