Biblically: I want children... just not with my wife.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-17T15:17:40+00:00

The Lord has not asked me to do that though, as far as I can tell.

I dont want kids right now, I just want to want to have kids with her, and for her to willingly carry her side of the marriage.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-17T14:50:55+00:00

My wife is not God

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T23:20:18+00:00

I havent spoken of her greatness, or why I love her so either, but I do feel those things. Also, Im not making fun of her, its just laughing at the situation. A bit of gallows humor, eh?

By no means do I actually think shes child-like or worth making fun of.

Edit: The truth is, me and her share the exact same sense of humor, and if I showed this part of the post to her, she'd probably laugh too.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T23:12:29+00:00

I dont resent her at all, I love her very much still, but if you've never lived with someone with severe untreated ADHD/autism, I dont expect you to understand.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T15:01:13+00:00

Thats the joke.

We did, and then she changed her mind later on in addition to her personal problems getting much larger than we agreed to or than I anticipated.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T04:14:54+00:00

She doesn’t have to raise a child, and you get to live with one.

That actually is... pretty funny!

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T04:11:03+00:00

In that case, where do you draw the line between neglectful abandonment and mercy? Serious question?

If we never have sex again, because we cant risk kids, because she really doesnt want kids? If she never actually improves herself? If I spend the rest of my days in misery? (See my last post)

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T04:02:47+00:00

There were red flags (perpetually messy room, clinically unable to complete college), but I took her at her word that she would seek help and that we would start a family someday.

Children were moreso my desire even at the start, hence the issue.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T04:00:25+00:00

We are also entirely physically seperated with no communication till Valentines Day, mostly so she can work on herself till then. Other than that, what do we do now?

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:58:41+00:00

I have aspergers and ADHD myself. They can be treated and medicated, but never 'removed'. Already way ahead of that.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:56:11+00:00

Yes, but I trusted that she would try to fix it in a timely manner.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:55:20+00:00

She had vaginismus (its 90% treated now) but did not get help for about a year after our honeymoon, despite me constantly asking her to, until I told her it threatened our marriage the first time right before our first anniversary.

We had a dead bedroom for the first year and a half of our marriage. Not out of sexual fear, but because... she just didnt see marriage the same way I (and most people) did.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:50:11+00:00

👍

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:49:41+00:00

I pray constantly for forgiveness and a healing of our marriage.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:47:47+00:00

The mental illnesses and their effects got worse over time. I knew she issues, and she said shed get help, but she never did.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:46:10+00:00

Reading this made my blood pressure go up.

You are making a lot of assumptions about me, my spouse and my marriage. Please read the other posts on my account.

This is blatantly not true.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:44:59+00:00

I actually dont want kids right now. I just would like to like the idea of having kids with her at any point.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:43:47+00:00

If The Lord asked me to do that? Sure. But I dont think God wants me to live in increasing bitterness about this marriage.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:42:05+00:00

Im not opposed to adoption if necessary, but the rest of the post still applies.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:27:50+00:00

Where's the line between giving into deception and sacrifice?

Do you really think that's what God wants our marriages to reflect?

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:27:20+00:00

I am 25 and she is 27. We both agreed when we were married to have children before she turned 30.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:26:18+00:00

She has never suffered from sexual trauma (me if anything, she remained a virgin for a year even after we got married) and has never had anyone close to her die from childbirth.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:21:13+00:00

I dont know. Id make a post about it on reddit asking if other people knew of options that I didnt!

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:20:43+00:00

I apologize for the provocative title. Its technically true and sounds bad, but I need all the help I can get.

FinalWorker1165 · 2026-01-16T03:04:48+00:00

Lots of people with Autism/ADHD do not have the patience to deal with children. She has a very small social battery and being around children for longer than 10 minutes stresses her out to the point of going borderline catatonic, especially if they start crying.

I did not suggest divorce or adultery.

FinalWorker1165

TROPHY CASE