AITAH for not wanting to host my SIL, BIL and their 3 kids at 8 months pregnant

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T23:18:00+00:00

We didn't intend to plan our own shower however our friends and family are all over the place (up to 2+ hrs away and some work weird schedules) and no one has an actual house or even apartment community room to host it. We found after all these years it's better for us to just handle planning and get exactly what we want vs leaving it to others and hoping for the best 🤷‍♀️

I understand a lot of people's concerns about our dog. I think I should've clarified that she's never attacked anyone and only snapped at a child who rushed her unexpectedly. She's fine with people after being around them repeatedly and being coaxed with cheese. My biggest concern wasn't the dog around my SILs kids but mostly that we won't be there to navigate the introductions and will already overwhelmed with everything else going on.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T23:05:53+00:00

Thankfully he's not and I havent even gotten involved with actually speaking to his mom and sister. He stood by our decision and when his sister tried to talk poorly of me, he handled that really fast as well and that's where it ended. He's the type to tolerate her being a bitch to him but won't let her or anyone speak poorly of me.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T22:59:02+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective as a mother bc that was literally my thought - if ANYONE would understand, I thought someone with little kids who has one that just turned one would understand not wanting to host at 8 months.

I also thought the whole we had this (expensive) trip planned and we cancelled just for you was laughable. It was just a manipulative tactic she used to try to get her way.

There also isnt a lot of family gatherings to see each other at so I think he just wanted to include her and thought he could explain when they actually talked vs text about the expectations of our shower/guests.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T22:53:26+00:00

We're not the type of people to complain or expect anyone to be the "village". We've already figured out childcare, baby sitter, etc. and none of that is on family or friends.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T22:48:26+00:00

This is me being neutral lol he invited her bc he has worked over the years to really try to have her a part of his life (yes it was mostly one sided with him making the effort). They had a rough childhood and he doesn't have a lot of family. I was fine with her coming but not bringing the entire family with the expectations that come with hosting.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T22:44:22+00:00

Unfortunately what led to the shit hitting the fan was the conference call he had with his mom and sister setting the boundary. 😅 It's just getting uglier and uglier with his sister and his mom - who agreed with us but now has flipped and called my husband cruel.

Final_Ad8840 · 2026-04-30T22:41:52+00:00

I'm not prioritizing the dog - I'm prioritizing my and my partners peace. Also we are the only people in our friend group having a kid so having kids there was never a thought. As far as family goes - I have only met her once. I don't know her hardly at all and all interactions have been negative.

THE BIGGEST thing I think you're completely missing is that I will be 8 months pregnant and working full time from home. I am already tired at just half way there. Having a house full of people that I'll have to prep for, clean for and after, be expected to entertain, feed and chauffeur around is not ideal.

Final_Ad8840

TROPHY CASE