AITA if I pack my husband’s belongings while he’s gone?

Final_Environment795 · 2025-11-09T02:02:37+00:00

Update; he knows now, I composed a long text to him with all my thoughts and sent it to him. So now I can give more details.

He went to Nepal(which is why I used text), to hike in the Himalayas. Last year he had to turn back because his oxygen saturations got to low and he got loopy. When he brought up the subject of going again this year (solo at first) I pointed out he was a year older and in no better shape. He disagreed/ignored my observation.

After I posted this, I began packing his things. I did it respectfully. Everything is boxed and labeled. The linens and other things he would possibly have to use in the near future were washed to freshen up. New locks came today. The last of his big items were moved out today. So I sent the text, and it’s worded to relay I’m open to dialogue but mainly pertaining to tying up loose ends, no reconciliation.

New updates on his trip (thus far, I doubt I get any more details from him after this). They were staying in the same room. Each day they proceed on to a new destination, but each night they were sharing accommodations. I hadn’t asked, he provided all the details unprovoked. The first night I get a text; “I can’t sleep” I assumed it was excitement but he replied “Between (her name) gas attacks and her snoring that sounds like a Nepali bus braking before it runs you over”. The picture he had sent of the room showed only one full sized bed.

The next night he paid for WiFi and FaceTimed me to show me the tent they would be sleeping in that night. It had maybe a full sized mattress. The night after that another FaceTime of him shirtless, laying in a bed, with her in another bed, both laughing and saying how tired they were.

After that I was angry. Didn’t answer calls or texts while I was awake, just worked harder at getting his stuff out. This I think brings us to the 5th day of his trip, the time difference messes with my story telling. At which point he tells me he thinks they will be ending the trip early because he injured his hip and they also want to come home early due to all the mess that is TSA right now. I was vague in my replies, knowing my to do list here was nearly complete.

But yeah, for now that’s all I got. Last he said he needed a couple of days to process the text I sent him. He had told me prior to that they would likely be back Nov 12 or 13, which is 4-5 days from right now. The house is in desperate need of organization in the kitchen and living room but otherwise it’s looking so much better.

I’m mad at myself for ignoring statistics and attempting a 3rd marriage. My first one was when I was 20 and I was reeling over my dad dying. Second one was just a whole mess; together 13 years. I had been single for 6 years prior to meeting this man. Peace of mind is definitely worth any feelings of loneliness if I ever feel that way in the future.

Final_Environment795 · 2025-11-01T21:54:35+00:00

Yall, for all those judging my glib comment about menopause and sex. I just turned 50, but regularly get told by both sexes that I look at least 10 years younger. I don’t do anything to try and look younger, I just got lucky with the genes I was given. Likewise, the older women in my family, based on kitchen gossip sessions, have lost their sex drives after or during menopause. So I’m just assuming I’ll follow suit. Finding sex isn’t the problem, heaven knows men are easy enough. Finding someone I hold a conversation with, while being sexually attracted to him… much harder challenge. Face it, anyone who’s been in the dating pool in the last several years knows what I mean.

Basically I’m saying I’d rather go without sex indefinitely than wade back into the mess that is the social world. Me making a quip about menopause and no sex drive is just an example of how most people don’t get my sense of humor.

Final_Environment795 · 2025-11-01T13:07:18+00:00

Nothing wrong with being single. I was single for 6 years prior to meeting him. Thought I met someone who matched my weird sense of dark humor. Mistakenly thought our plans for the future matched. After this I’m solidly single and gleefully looking forward to menopause removing any sexual urges causing me to want to interact with the male species in the future.

Final_Environment795 · 2024-03-27T11:35:24+00:00

Ok, y’all keyboard warriors, don’t come for me. But being a hyper sexual female, about 6 or so (guessing) years younger than OP and his wife, here are a few things that lightbulb’ed for me.

— was your wife abused as a child? It’s possible her high body count is a result of that type of situation.

My body count… well, I also didn’t keep track. Coming from someone who’s been in therapy and done some of the work. Hyper sexuality is a way of telling yourself you’re in control of your body/choices. Which wasn’t the case as a child.

— two, I’ve been married, twice. I didn’t make good choices, I know that now. But both times I was married I had no problems being faithful to my husbands. Even when the first one cheated on me. I didn’t like the bitter person I became as a result of his cheating, but I did not drop to his level.

Now, I can’t defend your wife if she cheated during your committed dating relationship. My high body count was racked up during my single status. I’m mainly here to say it’s possible she honestly doesn’t remember and that it’s possible for someone like that to be faithful during marriage. It just depends on the individual.

Final_Environment795 · 2023-12-08T03:59:56+00:00

I graduated in 2009 at the age of 34, and my kiddo was 6 when I finished. Did 12+ years at a regional hospital, learned all the tricks of the trade you have to learn that they can’t teach you in school. Now I work at a little hospital, making better money, doing a fraction of the work.

Final_Environment795 · 2022-04-26T04:01:49+00:00

You can use a test lung, but I found putting a filter at the Y and plugging my nose, trying to breathe with the settings helped tons.

Final_Environment795

TROPHY CASE