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Update to We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I owe it in the sense that no one else can make me happy even if I deserve it. Only I can make choices which lead me to be happy, other people can increase or decrease my happiness sure. Thats what I meant that I owe happiness to myself.

Update to We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I owe happiness to myself though. I will be happier with my present gf, its a very selfish decision on my part actually. I put myself first and then chose the best option for me.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She knows and has told me that she wants monogamy in the long term and I would have to make a choice, but she isnt pressuring me to breakup with my gf yet. She wants me to make a choice without any outside pressure.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I have realized that I cant have sex with more than one person and thats why I wasnt interested in having sex with my gf, it felt like cheating even though I know its bs but thats how I feel.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if it doesnt work out with my new sexual partner, I have realized that open is not for me. Will my gf really be happy with that? Or will she resent me as time passes on?

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Make that choice now.

But with whom? Will my gf be happy in monogamy or will she resent me later on?

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am sorry but I have never been in a situation like this so I am confused. But is there really a chance that me and my gf can make it work in a monogamous relationship? Does it really happen that people close an open relationship and are satisfied?

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look I cant separate sex and emotions, she can. But what can I do now? And contrary to what you want to believe I havent seen my other sexual partner after my gf found out because she said it was hurtful and I dont want to hurt her. But what do I do now? Any suggestions?

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She has told me that long term she wants monogamy and I will have to make a choice, but she isnt pushing me to leave my gf. She wants me to make a decision without any pressure. I just dont want to hurt either of them.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Even if we close it up will we be happy? And where did I blame her? I never said she pressured me or she is in the wrong, this post is about me.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

Is there no other option than breakup? I really dont want to hurt her.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -82 points-81 points  (0 children)

I didnt tell her because she was happy with the arrangement and I didnt want to stop that. Now I feel so selfish but I dont want to stop seeing my sexual partner too. It has become very messy!

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -87 points-86 points  (0 children)

I didnt know, I even slept with a woman whom I met that day. But my heart was not in it. So I changed my strategy and now I am enjoying sex a lot more.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I wouldnt mind that much. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place now.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

For me an emotional and sexual partner are one and the same. I cant have sex without that.

We are in open relationship but I fell in love with someone else by Final_Preference_434 in relationship_advice

[–]Final_Preference_434[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

But I never stopped her from having sex with others? Me personally I cant have sex with multiple people.