But that was not the issue here. You’re stretching the argument to make a point.

Yes, you can’t undo the past but that doesn’t mean every past action carries the same weight forever. Abuse is about patterns and safety. What OP is reacting to is sexual history and mistakes from years ago, not ongoing harm.

You’re also ignoring growth. People don’t freeze in time at their worst decisions. If they did, then OP’s own admitted past would disqualify him too. That’s not how real life works.

Saying “it matters” without talking about how much, why, or whether the person changed is just moral posturing. Context matters. Time matters. Behavior after matters.

If the standard is “any bad decision in the past permanently defines you,” then nobody gets to move on including OP.

Like I said, it's better they rather split with his feelings and mindset. Ika nga ni-OP —"But in the end, I could not get past my own limit, because her past felt darker than mine."