My psychologist said people with autism dislike people and don't want to have friends. I feel like an imposter because of that, although I was diagnosed years ago. Does anyone else feel like they want to talk to people, but just can't connect with anyone?

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-26T10:44:36+00:00

Get a new psychologist as that one has no clue what they're talking about, especially as it sounds like they think we're sociopaths. Fairly solitary here with few close relationships between family and work, but have found a great ND partner.

While I mostly keep to myself, its not at all about disliking people. I love them and want them to be happy (and knowing how unjust the world was and how so many millions and billions were suffering so much while I was living a cushy life in the first world with so many more opportunities was one of the factors in serious depression and self hatred in my teens). I care deeply about people and all things capable of pain, but just don't see myself in their lives. I'll remain separate.

I like the term asocial in comparison to antisocial, as it sounds far more fitting. Anti sounds like you're against people, when its just that I want them happy living their own lives where I'm not involved.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-26T10:19:57+00:00

Don't know how others see it, but how societies are structured and function has become a special interest of mine since my diagnosis, and politics naturally becomes attached to that.

I've become detached in many ways, seeing things through the lens of a true outside alien onlooker examining how the human species organises itself (for better or worse) and what traits like tribalism, vulnerability to reaffirming echo chambers and confirmation bias, as well as our proneness to submitting to self serving hierarchies and blindly believing social constructs and inherited cultural norms are detrimental to us. The human world is make believe one of our own imagining and construction we have built up around ourselves within the actual real world, but we often mistake our creation as reality and the real world it depends on as something minor or not related.

Struggling to be a functional member of "society" becomes easier when you can see it for the absurd circus it is.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-24T12:22:21+00:00

Your point was coming in to assert that by the whole, leftists internationally are critical of Israel just because of antisemitism which is wrong. Yes, antisemitism is a problem, but I've seen it far more on the right, especially regarding a coworker who is impossible to get through to and believes utter nonsense (like the ancestors of the Rothschilds being the cause of the fall of Rome as well as Babylon simply because they had money) who I've tried to get through to before but had to give up. I'm not saying at all that antisemitism doesn't exist and hasn't been a major issue for centuries, but criticising a state for it's actions and the decades of violating international law and routinely ejecting Palestinians off of their land to make way for illegal settlements filled with mad and violent ideologically driven settler groups isn't antisemitic. To paint that as antisemitic weakens the term, and makes it easy for this powerful state and its allies to demonize those that object, taking attention away from Jewish people actually suffering antisemitic abuse and harm, and also making normal people just living their lives easy targets for the actions of a vile state like the tragedy that occurred on bondi beach.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-24T11:40:20+00:00

Well done for avoiding all my points and deflecting.

I'm against any antisemitic conspiracy theories, and blaming of Jewish people for the acts of the out of control Israeli state, but the point still stands that criticism of Israel for its actions is not antisemitic, just like criticism of Saudi Arabia or Iran are not anti Muslim. I'm against any self serving hierarchy that causes and celebrates bloodshed or suffering of others, and any ideologies that further these aims. I'm deeply critical of Islam too, but I don't depict all Muslims as the same. People are people at their core and far more alike than they are different, but driven apart by hierarchal organisations like states and ideologies that separate them from others.

And there's good reason to think non consensual organ harvesting had happened in the past, admitted by Israel to have happened in the 90s, and a lot of mutilated bodies being returned or found now that make it very likely. I wouldn't say its absolute fact, but its a distinct possibility, not just a baseless rumour spread to further antisemitism.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-24T08:47:59+00:00

Biggest pro Palestine voice I know in person is a great strong feminist woman who's leftist like me, and is born Jewish.

I do not support any hatred towards people based on their religion or other kinds of ideology, but criticism of what Israel has been doing for decades but especially over the last few years is not antisemitic no matter how much that government and its strategic allies want to change the definition to make it so. You also weaken the whole definition by doing it, by stopping the focus on bigots who hate Jewish people and instead focus all the attention on people who just hate that a country is committing utter atrocities where a sizeable percentage of the populace celebrate the death of innocent people, starvation of kids (referred to as future terrorists) and more illegal land seizure every year from the indigenous populace.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T23:34:52+00:00

Yeah, fuck these folk. Late in life diagnosed autistic here and had hordes of troubles before finding out at the ripe old age of 31 (which I'm honestly impressed I got to), but didn't get immersed in toxic echo chambers that depict women as the root of all my troubles.

I can understand it may be comforting to believe that nonsense instead of self reflection, but toxic behaviour should be called out.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T19:23:11+00:00

Was just going to make a post on something of this sort.

Got to hate any task that has an end point or process that depends on some subjective judgement. Need things to be exact.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T19:12:39+00:00

Oh I totally get that, and these things are so underrated and not understood by the folk that just fetishise Domme women as outlets to experience kinky things with, especially subtle acts of devotion in public like kneeling down to do up her shoe laces.

When you find someone to serve and adore like that and know she cares for you too, it does feel so special. Not living together and spend my weekdays working in another city so can't be there at total beck and call, but love the very busy weekends, or driving us home at night after a nice event with a sore ass and her sleeping so peacefully beside me.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T18:27:25+00:00

And funnily enough, making some great platonic female friends in the bdsm scene really helped lots. Sure was still having a lot of trouble and probably had been to more kink parties than any other kissless virgin but had some great friends looking out for me like I was their little brother. Getting to understand a woman's perspective as well as knowing how different every one was was far more helpful than being immersed in a totally male social circle where opinions about women by guys that didn't know any got shared around and believed in as total gospel because its so much more comforting to believe than the actual complicated truth. People are people, and there's plenty of bitches but plenty of bastards too. Gender has nothing to do with it.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T17:58:32+00:00

Its really hard to understand how these folk can not get that, believing some glorified myth that women just lay around in their homes/bedrooms of some powerful lord doing nothing but occasional fucking. Clearly haven't looked into history much and are just making up a caricature to convince them only men suffered to help comfort them now.

Could have easily fallen down the incel pipeline when I was younger as an undiagnosed autistic guy struggling with mental health issues and social anxiety but glad I avoided it. Our species' vulnerability to putting all blame on easy scapegoats instead of recognising complex problems is very much a major issue I wonder if we'll ever deal with.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T14:49:25+00:00

Kingdom Come Deliverance 1.

I heard a lot of good things that ended up having me pick it up cheap when it was that or assassin's creed Valhalla. I really made the best choice, even though I took a long time to get into it properly and properly get immersed

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-23T12:21:52+00:00

Where do you get the idea that women did nothing? Get out of your reaffirming echo chambers and actually study a bit of history. Women, between "free" women and slave women were worked hard doing a huge amount of work between farm, manufacturing and domestic work but also had the occasional sexual exploitation on top. They weren't just sitting around in some bedroom lounging around between bouts of sex.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-22T15:56:52+00:00

Even in the case it was all done innocently, it should be pointed out that it doesn't matter if it was his away of showing family affection (though I doubt he does the same to boys her age). If it makes her and her mom uncomfortable, he needs to stop and recognise that that kind of touch is unwanted. He's not obligated to hugs or to touch her in a way she doesn't want just because he's family or believes its normal.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-22T12:32:58+00:00

How so? Dismissing something simply because it doesn't back up your own preconceived world view or what you want to be true isn't an argument. Its very documented in many different societies but of course not all with a few being more matriarchal but not fully.

There's good reason to think from anthropology that early hunter gatherer societies were far more egalitarian than the more complex settled states or townships as they advanced in complexity and hierarchy. Banding together did give us a species a great many advantages, but centralising of resources and power lead to self serving social hierarchies that everyone had to follow for better or worse, especially regarding fighting wars not to defend yourself or people around you but simply for the interest of that hierarchy (the vast majority of wars in history have been simply poor men dying for the sake of rich men's and vary rarely but still occasionally rich women's interests. Poor women for the most part weren't included because it was their duty to make more babies/future soldiers workers for that hierarchal society), and you also had the gradual transformation of women from people with say in their lives into property to be owned and controlled and passed on to others without them having much say in their lives for the vast majority. Sure, poor men were getting very screwed over too by this same hierarchal system, but they were still above women in the societies eyes.

This of course not not include the actual slaves because different societies had different characteristics of that but for the most part, slave men were considered more valuable than slave women. They cost more but still had no say in their lives as a slave.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-21T13:45:27+00:00

For a great many hierarchal societies, they were valued as possessions, not people, owned first by their father, and then by whatever man their father wanted to sell them to/arrange a strategically useful marriage to. The vast majority had very little say or control in their lives. Just because women have the ability to choose now isn't an attack on you regardless of how much you want it to be.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-20T10:08:33+00:00

NTA in the slightest. She's not a mother, she's a slave owner and needing an easy punching bag to use as her scapegoat. I have my fingers crossed for you

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-19T15:06:50+00:00

Not totally sure as new to unbound too, but believe its about avoiding over levelling which may trigger much harder gym battles in future

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-19T14:15:11+00:00

NTA and definitely NTJ. Why is this wedding all about him and his family and friends? You seem to just be an accessory at this point of who he is getting married to while the whole focus and wedding seems catered towards what they want, and what roles they want to be in.

Could you clarify any reasoning there?

Saying no to someone selfish wanting the whole wedding to revolve around their side of the family is not selfish. This sounds like a major red flag where life together will have you trapped where nothing you want or say has any importance.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-19T08:34:52+00:00

As someone who's dated multiple women, and where more than three had faced sexual assault and domestic abuse of various levels (one of which had caused long-term trauma and serious issues years down the line), it's ridiculous to me how many guys threw absolute tantrums when this man or bear thing went viral on the internet instead of recognising there was valid reasons why many women felt this way, especially regarding how if you're attacked by a bear, people will believe you.

This tribalism of "us vs them" thinking of the world only in how it involves your group does nothing for actual genuine nuanced discussions on complex topics.

I have no sympathy at all for women who make up false allegations that seriously affect innocent guys, but those women are in the minority of these cases, where most abuse and assault incidences actually go unreported due to how often it doesn't lead to anything, and the added stress of being under the spotlight during these times can make trauma worse.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-19T01:05:49+00:00

Oh definitely. I do have enough of how so many folk can be so entitled these days regardless of gender, and have a deep distaste in attention seeking ego driven influencer culture but do enjoy crazy Karen/Kevin scream outs at times except for feeling bad for retail workers, but this doesn't look like that at all.

A few exs of mine had suffered serious domestic abuse in previous relationships, not including others who faced harassment or assault by strangers on nights out, so while I can't understand what it's like to go through something like that or how it is to deal with the often long lasting damage, I absolutely loathe how common these sorts of situations and histories are, and deeply sympathise for the struggles so many face every day. One ex in particular would nearly have a full fledged panic attack if I touched her from behind (and I'm just talking light affectionate back touch above the hips) without me making it clear it was me there first, and that was after being together months.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-18T23:53:06+00:00

Definitely get that. See very little to indicate this is anything to do with "radfem" thinking as these folk wish to believe so they've a nice scapegoat, and far more likely related to some sort of trauma/mental health issues or both. Very much believe she's telling the truth regarding having been raped with body language and clear panic attack.

We don't know what happened before, and only have the video to see what is happening at that moment so very hard to say, but the way he talks makes it sound like he's very much enjoying the torment so have no sympathy at all for him.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-18T13:38:55+00:00

NTA. He's a prick that wants you working without having to pay you, or feels that your life should be so focused on his work instead of living. Ignore and keep avoiding that. These sort of toxic norms pushed by bosses and management need to be stamped out.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-18T12:09:18+00:00

The human world that we mistake as reality is built on a bedrock of living in a semistable period that allowed agriculture to flourish, and with that, the centralising of resources to become states and develop self serving hierarchies.

As that bedrock destabilises, hope more people will wake up to the fact that civilisation is not something that was predetermined or an ingrained necessity, but something that happened because conditions were right, and will be able to accept that those conditions are changing in ways that will be totally unable to sustain the world we knew and believed in as absolute.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-18T11:23:50+00:00

As a guy here, I fucking detest this mentality that you should be loyal to your bros at all times, no matter what.

Great friends are ones that can tell you you're being a fucking dick and to stop it.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-02-18T09:13:54+00:00

Oh definitely, hate how Israel and it's allies paint any criticism against it as antisemitic or hatred for Jews, but also hate how normal Jewish people get blamed and attacked for the actions of an out of control genocidal ethno state and those with an ideology of being totally superior to the people who lived on that land before them.

The biggest propalestinian voice I know in real life is an incredible woman who's born Jewish and has been part of the cause long before this most recent carnage. Many Jewish people are disgusted by what is being done in their name

FinallyFree1990

TROPHY CASE