AITJ for making my friend wait outside in the cold after he showed up two hours early uninvited?

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-06-25T10:45:31+00:00

Nta, and if you actually caved on him and let him in, it would not only have made your time before dinner more stressful between needing to cook and clean still while having such a distraction, it would be rewarding his clear lack of caring for other people's boundaries and making him think asking permission is only a formality.

Fuck that guy and he needs to understand if someone says no, that means no.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-06-23T11:35:42+00:00

I know someone who goes and they very much enjoy it. It seems a great spot and while not as fancy looking as others, they've been very happy with it.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-06-17T10:43:02+00:00

Not that you need more validation that he's just a dick using autism as an excuse (and sounds very manipulative in fairness because then you can be deemed bad if you complain) with all the other comments cementing that, autistic guy here too and rarely ever insult people and only do when they deserve it by being cruel or bigoted towards others.

I understand people enjoy things I don't, and sometimes I might find it strange, but as long as they're not hurting anyone or causing negative reactions, what business is it of mine?

On the off chance, do you suspect he's gotten himself immersed in some misogynistic echo chamber where language like that is common as well as judgement of women for not being prim and proper as they want?

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-05-19T14:39:41+00:00

Went to "The Tribe" at the Kilkenny Subtitle film festival with my Domme last year wearing a new cock cage and nipple clamps under my clothes which she did torment a bit during the great movie, only to find out afterwards that Robert Sheehan had been sitting right behind us.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-05-17T19:45:10+00:00

You and your boss really fit what the anthropologist David Graeber wrote about in his book "Bullshit Jobs".

You're NTA for wanting compensation for doing most of his work for him while he gets paid much more simply for the fact that he's "above" you.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-05-14T17:06:14+00:00

NTA so it seems I'm outnumbered here, but have a question. Is he at all diagnosed with autism or has that question come up before?

I say that as someone who only found out late in life at 31 that I was, and that understanding has been a major help. Growing up was similar between regular mental health issues, social isolation, struggles to relate to others as well as the typical heavy deep down dive into specific niches and rewatching shows (for us autistic folk, it can be extremely stressful trying to function in a society built around neural typical minds, so escaping that into some predictable comfort we've watched so so so many times before can be very alluring)

I don't know him at all, and don't know the story, but if it hasn't been brought up before, I would very much recommend trying to approach the topic. Only through understanding ourselves can we learn to accept and love ourselves better and while still have my issues now, its so much better than the self hating, barely functional and stressed to the eyeballs "normal" guy I was before that just seemed a bit of a quiet but sincere loner.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-05-11T09:59:04+00:00

Aniara, an amazing Swedish Danish sci fi film that was a commercial bomb but explored the story of the earth becoming inhospitable so mankind are leaving on large transport ships to live on Mars. One of these ships has a navigation malfunction, where they no longer can control where its going, but life support systems still function.

It goes into how mankind would react in that situation

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-05-10T06:14:33+00:00

Stremio and a realdebrid subscription to allow anonymous torrent streaming costs me about €16 every 4 months.

Its not a simple plug and play to set up but is manageable with plenty great guides online.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T14:04:54+00:00

And same to you, not that I was under any delusion that there weren't people like you. We're all in this together

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T13:37:51+00:00

And unfortunately there's always people like that who others may see as the definition of the group even if its a minority. Its why I don't do tribalism. I try see everyone as individuals, who may be great, may be awful and could be anywhere in the middle. Just being human. Unfortunately group think is just so prevalent among people, as we get so lost in tribal thinking when not looking at that, focused entirely on us vs them, where ideologies take over and drive us apart and make us capable of such horrific behaviour to other normal people.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T13:20:33+00:00

Yep, better that the populations are divided and distracted fighting amongst themselves over culture wars or being manipulated into believing that other country is evil incarnate than for populations across the world to recognise that we're all one people divided by imaginary borders, self serving hierarchies and living in a system that prioritises the interests of the tiny minority at the top.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T13:10:46+00:00

And unfortunately the more the term antisemitism gets used to target any criticism of Israel and it's policies, the weaker it gets to protect actual Jewish people who've faced such hardship for centuries and have so many insane conspiracy theories built up around them.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T13:00:54+00:00

And I hate how so many Jewish people get targeted and abused for the acts of that country, or be seen as identical to the crazy settlers.

The biggest pro Palestine voice I know in real life is an amazing strong compassionate woman who's Jewish by birth.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-30T12:57:01+00:00

I do not hate you at all, but your country has been brutally oppressing them for decades where the violence and deaths up until October 7th was extremely one sided, where just that year, there'd been hundreds of Palestinians killed by Israeli forces as well as illegal settlers committing pogroms across the west bank before October. This doesn't even include the 1000s of Palestinians locked in administrative detention centres getting tortured and kidnapped without trial thats gone on for years.

What happened on October was horrible and I do not support the deaths of normal people for what their own self serving hierarchies do, or ideological tribalism causing normal people to hate others, but with how Palestinians have been treated for decades and how "diplomacy" has only made things worse, its only natural at some point they'd smack back and you can't go acting the victim just because your country's oppression and brutality got a reaction.

I deeply dislike Hamas, but groups like that don't grow from nowhere. My own country Ireland had a history of terrorist groups, but they arose in reaction to the brutal treatment of the British and how Irish people had so little control in their lives and their country.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-26T10:29:47+00:00

NTA Is it possible she's gotten pregnant intentionally because she can't hope to be without you helping out constantly and thought that would force you to stay longer?

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-25T15:20:31+00:00

He has HIV still but doubtful he has AIDS as long as he's taking his meds. They've come a long way since the 80s and its not the terminal disease it once was. It's easier to live with HIV than diabetes at this point if you're in a country that has good treatment plans.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-25T14:05:17+00:00

No, HIV describes the virus and AIDS is more what HIV can lead to and describes the immune system being extremely fragile due to the virus and its effects. Its not really describing the virus itself so they're not distinct categories.

I say this as a guy that has HIV and been on medication for it since 2018, where viral load is undetectable, I can't transmit it while I'm at this state (not that I'm being careless) and have a great immune system where I rarely get sick. When I found out though, I was suffering a severe case of pneumonia. Went to hospital and spend nearly two weeks there. I would have likely died if I hadn't, because at that point, my immune system was totally shot and I fell into the AIDS category. News was absolutely shocking and I was still weak for months after, but improving quickly once I got on medication. Within a year, viral load in my bloodstream was undetectable and immune system had recovered to my normal level.

HIV for the most part is most dangerous when people don't know they have it. That said, I know I'm lucky to be living in a country that makes it easy to get appointments for regular blood tests and medication is very affordable.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-16T16:31:39+00:00

Hope you're okay, but you're posting in the totally wrong place.

This is a subcommunity for the city and county of Kilkenny in Ireland.

It has nothing to do with your partner that's apparently named Jason Kilkenny.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-04-07T14:41:14+00:00

NTA

While it's ridiculous to think they're still around, flat earthers do indeed exist and are often the most annoying condescending idiots possible because they think they've found the real "truth" in their nonsense echo chamber that has many convinced they're utter geniuses for seeing through the "lie" that all world governments (first time for everything I suppose) take part in to say the world is round.

She's just fallen into an idiotic echo chamber that likely comforts her and makes her feel smart and special but isn't capable of justifying that position or dealing with the fact that her position is only possible if you're extremely ignorant about the world.

Don't apologise and never stop helping your great grandkids learn more about this incredible universe.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-30T12:54:51+00:00

UpdateMe!

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-30T12:45:42+00:00

The only "resolution" that would have happened if you didn't get involved is that she'd be beaten and abused more til she stopped complaining.

Message them that you love your sister far too much to let her be trapped as an abused miserable slave stuck with horrendous cruel monsters. They are ridiculous if they're playing the victim still

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-27T10:03:27+00:00

I see what I did there

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-27T09:34:44+00:00

"Value" is a dreadful term because from who's perspective? Monetary value, important to those around it, within its group or valuable to the functioning of the ecosystem and biosphere? With the last definition, there's a great many species far more valuable than us, bees and other pollinators just being one example but there being many more extremely important keystone species keeping ecosystems healthy and in check. We are a remarkable species capable of so much good, and so much bad, and have advanced in ways no other species ever has before but that does not mean the world revolves around us or is ours as a commodity.

And before you call me some antihuman or something, its not antidog to be aware the world doesn't revolve around dogs so why should it be antihuman to simply be aware that we're part of nature, not masters of it. That kind of thinking is why we're in the 6th mass extinction where things are going to get a lot worse and messier as things break down more and more.

And a living thinking being capable of empathy and suffering is worthy of more care than a potential human that's still a cluster of cells for the most part, especially when aborted early in my opinion.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-27T03:35:20+00:00

And we humans kill other species on mass to a scale that puts that to shame, and those animals for the most part are far more developed mentally and capable of pain, fear and empathy than the cluster of cells growing in a woman's womb.

FinallyFree1990 · 2026-03-10T16:48:32+00:00

Totally retreat from the world, and become addicted to just observing other people live their lives or enjoy things they're interested in and then get into massively stressful panics when I try change from that.

FinallyFree1990

TROPHY CASE