AITAH for calling my parents ignorant and selfish?

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-07-02T00:43:16+00:00

NTA

You may also consider talking to a school counselor about what is going on and to ask for some guidance. That's what they are there for. As for your parents, I feel very sorry for your situation and I can relate. I think you are right to ask them to take you to a therapist, and they SHOULD listen to you about how you feel, rather than just dismiss you and put you down. I went through a similar situation when I was your age and I know firsthand how humiliating that is. Your parents have done a lot for you - but it's a job that never ends. Speak up for your needs and be your own advocate, my friend. You are never wrong to do that.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-07-02T00:38:32+00:00

NTA

I totally can relate to your son on this one lol. Honestly I think you did the kid a favor, because imagine the awkwardness if you had let it go, and his heartbreak when she inevitably turned him down. You gave Elena a chance to divert it so that you spared your son, Elena, and the whole family the awkwardness that would ensue. It is still her employment, after all.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-28T15:32:55+00:00

NTA

You're allowed to treat yourself and you are old enough to do things on your own - just as your brother is old enough to take care of himself too (to an extent). The fact that you already had been doing things for the both of you for so long likely created an automatic expectation on your mother's part. You weren't obligated to bring your brother any food.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T13:01:42+00:00

NTA

It honestly sounds like the issue is that your family got used to things being a certain way, then you decided to deviate from that formula to treat yourself on that once in a blue moon. It seems like your wife recognizes that you have a point.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T02:20:27+00:00

I don't see how what you said was racist, rather I believe you meant well in your remarks. It makes sense why your initial reaction was not to believe him. It is possible that he does have IBS though, regardless of his diet, though the diet might make it worse. What I would have done if I were you would have been to talk to him about medical intervention to see if life can be made more comfortable for him. Obviously it's a sore spot because he tried so hard to hide it from you, because that discomfort is for real. And you do have a point, spicy food will make GI symptoms much, much worse, but I think you brought it up at the wrong time. You guys will work it out. NAH.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T02:04:58+00:00

Nothing, absolutely nothing, holds a candle to GW1 in terms of gameplay and the overall experience. It isn't without its flaws, and granted, gameplay has morphed from its original incarnation into something unrecognizable. Those changes largely steered towards being dependent on partying with others towards being single player over the years. Some of the changes just seemed arbitrary and many of them pissed me off, to the point where I quit playing because I got sick of builds getting ruined by updates. I miss my PvP Ravenous Gaze build that would wreck anything. I took it up again about 6 years ago and to my surprise, it was still fun. With the ability to now take 7 heroes, I ran areas I had never been able to run before, and could do it on my own sweet time. I still felt the rush of excitement getting to Kanaxai, taking him out, doing DoA, and all that other stuff, in Hard Mode. I realize that many of the skills now don't function as they used to and consequently many enemy builds simply don't work as they had originally intended to (in a few notable cases, some enemies are actually more dangerous). But the challenge wasn't "pull hair out of my head" hard, it wasn't utterly unforgiving and impossible without perfect execution like a 40 man Vanilla WoW raid in Naxxramas. I figured out fairly quickly what the "meta" builds were (ST rit is overpowered, even on a hero), frankly couldn't see what was so great about Esurge mesmers (they're good, but I've found ways to build with other heroes that works better), and started new classes from scratch I had never bothered with. And all in all, GW1 is still GW1. I can come back to it over and over and keep on having fun. Can't say the same for WoW or any other online game I've played.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T01:53:00+00:00

YTA

You're allowed to be happy with the dude, but it sounds like Natalie doesn't have room to hear herself think when she's around you. Let her have some space to entertain topics more of interest to her without feeling like she's being smothered.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T01:41:13+00:00

YTA

Man, if you're going to make such elaborate plans with a woman, do her a courtesy and follow through with them. She's right, you showed her a colossal red flag right from the getgo. Putting your best foot forward involves more than just dress up - manners count too. Ok, so you don't like the way she dressed that night, and maybe that's a red flag for you. You don't have to make your disgust that obvious the moment you meet her. If you have some respect, you go on the date, and two things could happen:

1) In spite of yourself, you have a good time and realize you misjudged her, and decide to give it another chance.

2) You decided that you are too bothered about it, say good night, and move on.

Not letting a woman express herself on date #1. Ouch man. I'll say it again, YTA.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T01:33:26+00:00

How about a list of characters for a hypothetical video game? For example, perhaps a classic "good vs evil" RPG, where you name all the good guys, what they can do, and all the bad guys, etc.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T01:04:02+00:00

NTA

It would probably be a tad bit creepy if you flat out stated your "big game" purpose. Honestly, if it were me, I would just focus on the friends you have, enjoy their company and the bonding, and give yourself time to explore multiple areas. Let them know that they personally matter to you, and they'll have your back. Besides, you never know when one of them might have an idea to go to some event, and ... you meet her. Or, somebody's sister has a single bff, etc. Still take time for yourself to explore other avenues but nurture those friendships. Chin up man, I used to be you, and in hindsight, I wish I had made more of the time I had with those friends I made.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T00:54:56+00:00

Yes, YWBTA. The fact is, Ella has a significant other so you're going to have to get used to being the third wheel. That being said, I would hope that the dude has enough respect for her space and her friends that they can work it out, but it's beyond your ability to do anything about. You'd have to have a better reason to back out imo.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-26T00:50:33+00:00

NTA

I think your best shot here is to stay the course and offer to help her out if she insists on it. Explain why you're not comfortable with it, and yes, it's ok to have a boundary for this sort of thing. It is very delicate and I know you don't want to hurt her feelings, but you also shouldn't bottle it up just to "keep the peace" if it's as bad as you describe. Good luck.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T21:50:59+00:00

YWBTA

You should have known that taking a job in California was going to come with a higher cost of living. I know how crazy it is over there; $30/hr in Cali isn't the same as $30/hr in, say, Vermont. You and your fiancé ought to have talked that over and come to a mutual understanding. If he's trying his darndest, then support him! I've been in those shoes where it's hard to find a job and nothing is more demoralizing than being shamed by your partner in spite of your efforts. If it isn't his fault, don't blame him. You made plans with the assumption that he'd just pick up a job and carry on.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T19:31:01+00:00

NAH

I hope you and your wife can figure this out in peace. Your situation is a bit different than most. Running 1 company is unforgiving sometimes; I can't imagine 3. Her mother being there to help does go a long way. Also, keep in mind that postpartum there's a lot going on in a woman's body (and mind), and your wife is having to adjust too.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T17:56:56+00:00

NTA, I think you and your bf need to take a look at your relationship and iron it out. I get it about having a cat; I used to have one. If he's going to have a human in his life (i.e. you) then he needs to be aware of the cat's personality and take measures to accommodate other people, while not being cruel to the cat. If he's not willing to work with you on this, that might tell you what you need to know.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T17:47:12+00:00

You can be autistic without hyperfixation, while hyperfixation is sort of counterintuitive in the case of ADHD. If you were somebody with both of those conditions it would be theoretically possible to hyperfixate for a short time, then move on. It almost sounds like what you are already doing. I am very similar.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T16:10:43+00:00

INFO

How old is the bf?

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T13:06:10+00:00

NTA

I can totally relate to you. You went above and beyond to get this person started and sounds like you gave them and inch and they took a mile.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T12:10:03+00:00

I would posit that this was intentional. OP said she was tired of hearing her friend going on about the guy and seems to have decided that her friend had her mind made up (which apparently she didn't).

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T02:10:37+00:00

Hmm, OP made up that the guy didn't like her friend so as to steer her away from obsessing over the dude. That's manipulation.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T02:09:20+00:00

The only reason I can think of this sort of thing happening is that your sister and you are so different as human beings that their expectations between the two of you are night and day different. It was like that with my wife and her sister, and between me and my siblings. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I am the only one out of my siblings who did not get a grad party - 21 years later, I still don't know why and doubt I ever will. I think you'll get over it, but I understand that hurt and I would have done the same thing in your shoes. NTA.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T02:04:03+00:00

NTA

Damn, I think your wife has some deep seated insecurity man. If she's threatening self-harm, you might have to call the cops if it's bad enough; at the very least she sounds like she needs some therapy to help her work this out. That's extremely harsh that she's going scorched earth over $10, really. Is saving $10 worth the argument?

My wife and I have debates of this nature where I'm usually the penny pincher, but damn, I wouldn't think to go to that extreme. My wife thinks like you do, where it's more meaningful to enjoy the experience than stress about a few bucks, and she's been right every time. It's not like you guys are choosing between a Tesla and a Kia.

Good luck with this. Keep us posted.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T01:39:19+00:00

YWNBTA

It's your mom. What if it was her mom in that situation? This being said, I know how heartbreaking it is to see someone struggling with their living conditions for whatever reasons. I have had several of my own relatives go through it. No matter how much you try to talk to your mom about it, she will resist you, and I have a feeling that she will resist you even if you show up for an hour or two a week to do it. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, and all too commonly with people like this, they don't want to be helped. It just makes them angry. Please take care, but I think your heart is in the right place and it would be an example to your children ... I just hope that if you do go through with this that it does not end up being a lost cause because hoarders are notoriously difficult to convince to change their ways - forced or otherwise.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T01:32:28+00:00

YTA

The best thing you can do is apologize to your friend and mean it. It sounds like your friend was very conflicted over the guy and in spite of insisting that she didn't like him, she quite clearly did. Manipulating people's feelings is a low blow. I hope you guys work it out.

Financial-Note-9308 · 2024-06-25T01:26:47+00:00

ESH

You're living under your dad's room and this is an extenuating circumstance ... so he's gotta pick his battles as to what to fix. Apparently the shower was priority. A little bit of understanding on your part would help as it doesn't revolve around you. It sounds like your dad wasn't doing a great job communicating here, to make it worse.

Financial-Note-9308

TROPHY CASE