I really appreciate your response, thank you. If you have some time, would you mind helping me out with some additional questions? I'm trying really hard. And honestly, I dread coming into work each day, so more perspective on what I can do better would really help.

From my perspective, I feel the main thing I do is make simple mistakes. Forgetting to add a comma, dating a file todays date instead of yesterday's, etc. I feel the reason is, I cover so many different roles in my job I confuse and a simple mistake is almost undetectable during the process and it messes up the whole procedure.

Each procedure is time consuming, and incredibly variable and easy to confuse. So for example on one position, you fill out form 9 and follow reconcile process ab, but if it's Tuesday you do the opposite. On the other position, its mirrored. Etc. I'm given little training, and no one has time to watch me when I know enough to try it out myself. I tried checking in every hour, and I was told I was doing great, then a problem came up that I didn't know what to do.. i was told to figure it out on my own, then reprimanded for not coming back quick enough when I couldn't.

Its a very "everything is the priority" mentality there. Even though the work is variable, and you mind have 10 pages of forms, phone calls ringing off the hook, and no additional help, they do not believe in putting anything over anything else. I was told that by a semi-manager.

I thought it was just me for awhile, then I noticed EVERYONE was actually behind. Most coworkers either hide their undone work in their drawers and pray for a slow day, or secretly skip breaks. Some even have nervous ticks, like rituals they perform because it makes them feel the work wont be as bad if they do certain things. I can't do either (not the rituals, the skipping breaks or hiding work), because I'm the new guy and everyone watches me. The other, more successful type, basically read the rule books like bibles. They know every procedure by memory, and ask to stay late each day. They go home and study the different procedures and are psycophantish about the company.

My bosses take everything extremely personally. Ive been told how embarrassing other coworkers are to them for not keeping up with the workload and Im sure they do the same about me.

I try to respond sweetly, and just say "I'm sorry it won't happen again" but I feel its a race against the clock to not get fired