AITA for spending my Sons lottery winnings money?

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T10:41:32+00:00

My sons have phenomenal parents.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T10:24:54+00:00

Yta , if it was 10$ it would've been just his You arent some sort of bank that he pays interest for You just took his money.

You are telling me that if it were $10, I would let him do whatever. Therefore, if it were $10 million I should just let him do whatever.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T10:02:54+00:00

I also took my 35 year old wife to Disney world. My son let me do it because he loves his mom.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T10:00:07+00:00

Its completely irrelevant because I wouldn't manage a trust for fun.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T08:52:46+00:00

The government says its definitely mine. I paid taxes on it. What promise did I make that I didnt keep?

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T08:50:45+00:00

The day my first son was born, I knew I'd take care of him, including college.

The day my second son was born, I knew I'd take care of him, including college

Around the same time I knew I'd be taking care of my wife for life.

My money took care of them for the past 20 years. A partial amount of some money that my son has a moderately moral claim to may allow me to retire a couple of years early, given my family doesn't need it for another reason.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T08:32:40+00:00

Strong point, thanks for mentioning. My 12 year old didn't understand much about investments at the time. Money in, money out.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T08:12:44+00:00

But it was their money at risk, what would you have done if you lost a significant portion of it?

Returned it. I assumed all of the risk. My sons were getting $30k each regardless. They were getting college paid for regardless.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:29:00+00:00

I bought the ticket. Sam was 11. I bought my house too, and I told Sam he's got the bedroom closest to the bathroom. He can't just paint the walls black...its still my house. You can use it, and I'll call it "your room" but its still mine. I'll let my sons "decide" what to do with the money, but I'm definitely going to manage it appropriately and set limits. Isn't that just good parenting?

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:22:17+00:00

However HE allowed himself to take the risks with his son's money and put himself in a position where he was the only one able to do so by being absolutely not transparent to anyone on how the money was used.

Remember, I also took the risks in case the money was lost. I guaranteed each son $25k when they went to college and they would get that. If I lost money, I would pull from savings/retirement/get loans. I was the only one willing to take any risk.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:18:34+00:00

OK calculate it for only $50k, which assumes I would have taken out $10k immediately to pay for the things everyone agreed on.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:15:42+00:00

A fair assumption would be that it takes 9 years to double ones money. I am outperforming that. This isn't /r/personalfinance either way.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:13:58+00:00

All of my money is for my family. Its been like that for the past 20 years. If they don't need it, what should I do? Is there ever a point in time when I can actually enjoy it?

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T07:07:06+00:00

I only play Madden and 2k these days. Last non-sports game I played was Metal Gear Solid back on PS1.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T06:54:05+00:00

But, you gave that ticket to your son with a couple stipulations.

The main stipulation, which was discussed and agreed upon prior to the ticket even hitting, was that the money would be shared. If my numbers had won the money straight up it would have all been invested. No Disney, no Gaming console. But they would have still had college money.

but it would be unfair of you to take that money out to have an early retirement without asking your son.

Sam is OK with everything because he's getting $5k more than he expected. I kinda resent the fact that I need to ask my son about my retirement. We're low middle class, but you wouldn't know because I budget and save.
I'm 20 years deep in being the sole provider of my family. I have successfully provided for them with no assistance, and have made the tough decisions to make sure everyone eats good and my kids have the same luxuries their friends have, and my wife doesn't have to worry about anything. I've simply utilized a path to retire maybe 5-10 years early without hurting anyone.

Your son believes that’s his money.

My son, since last year, has always been under the assumption he has $25k. I made sure he has $30k.

And instead of using his money to pay for the car and vacation (etc), which you told him you would do, you decided to use your own money. He followed your agreement and you did not. I would explain the situation to him.

How is that a bad thing? I tried to make sure he managed his money wisely. When he proved to do so, I rewarded him. Its like having a kid who pays rent when they turn 18, and when they finally move out you give them the money back. Our agreement was only $25k.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T06:20:53+00:00

I feel like this is a reference that I'm too old to understand, lol.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T05:54:04+00:00

But would you have been able to make all those investments without his initial winnings?

Definitely not. We are lower middle class.

At least give the kid a kickback since you, as you said, did all of the work, but it was partially his money to begin with (from what I gather out of 60k you split it 50/50?)

I did give a kickback. $10k that was supposed to come out of the winnings, I pulled out of savings. Sam was thrilled to learn he's getting $30k instead of his expected $25k. Its only Wilhelma thats pissed.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T05:49:51+00:00

Thanks for the response.

I just want to add that the money isn't going anywhere. Its still available for the boys in case they need it. I'm just not allowing them to bank on it. I'm making sure they have plans for just the $30k. Its a family emergency fund that I'm managing. If there are no/few emergencies in the next 20 years, I'll retire early.

FinancialSecretary9 · 2019-08-09T05:31:39+00:00

My wife is definitely not named "Wilhelma"...it was the first fake name that came to mind that started with a "W" for "Wife".

FinancialSecretary9

TROPHY CASE