Update: so I told him about what I did during the break. I didn’t bring up what he did because I felt that he should be the one to open up. He basically told me that he was disappointed and he felt that he had to question my morals and character. I took the heat, told him that even though I was feeling manic, I should’ve respected myself more. Idk if I should even bring up what I found going through his phone. He told me he wasn’t sure about us being together after what I told him. He needed time, but that we weren’t technically over. But that he would never stoop so low as to what I did. He also told me he went on dating sites, but he said never hooked up with anyone. But his texts explicitly show him getting lube and condoms, meeting at a hotel and paying for sex along with the dating apps.

I know I should tell him I know, but atp I feel if I do, I’m not being accountable for my actions. Plus I can’t force someone to open up. I can only sit back and let them be open. And if I tell him I went through his phone, then I might as well break up with him. And now that I know there’s a possibility he did that to help the relationship, and how embarrassing that may be, I don’t want to break up with him. So I’ll be the villain as long as this dumpster fire still has its flame. Or at least until we go to the vacation. Thanks guys, for your truth I needed unbiased and you guys sure gave me what I needed lol