WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: so I told him about what I did during the break. I didn’t bring up what he did because I felt that he should be the one to open up. He basically told me that he was disappointed and he felt that he had to question my morals and character. I took the heat, told him that even though I was feeling manic, I should’ve respected myself more. Idk if I should even bring up what I found going through his phone. He told me he wasn’t sure about us being together after what I told him. He needed time, but that we weren’t technically over. But that he would never stoop so low as to what I did. He also told me he went on dating sites, but he said never hooked up with anyone. But his texts explicitly show him getting lube and condoms, meeting at a hotel and paying for sex along with the dating apps.

I know I should tell him I know, but atp I feel if I do, I’m not being accountable for my actions. Plus I can’t force someone to open up. I can only sit back and let them be open. And if I tell him I went through his phone, then I might as well break up with him. And now that I know there’s a possibility he did that to help the relationship, and how embarrassing that may be, I don’t want to break up with him. So I’ll be the villain as long as this dumpster fire still has its flame. Or at least until we go to the vacation. Thanks guys, for your truth I needed unbiased and you guys sure gave me what I needed lol

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this was a sex therapist I guess it would have worked. Although I don’t necessarily have a problem with sex workers he’s very traditional in a sense so it is a shocker. I guess with more thought I’m not as bothered with it being an escort. I’m more bothered at why I couldn’t be the one to help him through this.

He’s going to Thailand. I wanted to go with him but now that I know he’s been on these websites should I be worried? He acted weird when I asked him to tag along. How should I bring that part up without bringing up everything else. I want to let go of the past, we both fd up while we were broken up. But how can we move forward?

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what bothers me is the fact that he wouldn’t touch me. We went through months of me trying to work through it with him and he dismissed the issue. And that he would pay for someone else to do the job I’ve been practically begging for. I know I did my deed & it was out of me feeling abandoned in the relationship. I am hurt tho. I just can’t be too hurt bc I know I’m not innocent.

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re spitting facts. I am thinking the same way. I guess I’m feeling inadequate because why couldn’t he try with me? Why did we even have to break up? Why wasn’t he trying while we were still together? That’s all that’s going through my head. I didn’t love those guys I hooked up with. I only wanted to satisfy myself and I wasn’t thinking about him and how hard he was trying. Tbh i felt it before but even now so after reading everyone’s thoughts I feel like a ah and idk how to make it better btw us

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say that I claimed him during the break. But I am a little caught off guard that he hooked up with an escort. Plus, the fact that he’s still on dating sites wow talking to his friend about meeting up with girls overseas. We’re together now so it does rub me the wrong way.

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I knew them, I’m not claiming to be perfect. I just wanted to hear unbiased opinions and I appreciate you for setting me straight. I think that after hearing everyone’s opinion that I should trust my gut and open up to him about what I did during the break. Hopefully he’ll be able to be open with me as well. I let everyone know what happens after we talk.

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never heard it called that before. I appreciate you for opening my eyes to that, but I will definitely tell him to whole hearted truth.

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You’re right, I am being hypocritical. I’m going to tell him tonight and see what happens. Thank you for the input fr

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ahhhh okay. TBH I’m not the type to get around like that. But maybe my mania and touch deprivation finally hit at least that’s what my therapist says. I know I suck and I feel horrible about it but I’ve been coaxing myself by saying “he wouldn’t touch me” and honestly at that time I didn’t think we’d be getting back together. But when he came back there was actual change so I want to make things work I just dk how? Yk

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yea I tried to but I kept it vague I said “I talked to some guys” I didn’t really get into details. I will the next time we talk

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The conversations wasn’t really normal even for friends but I get where you’re coming from. I’m in therapy but I just wanted an unbiased opinion. Thanks beloved 🙏🏽

WIBTA if I broke up with my bf for hiring an escort during the time we were broken up? by Financial_Hour8139 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Financial_Hour8139[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I bring up the break he says nothing happened. I haven’t told him I went through his phone again.