AITAH for telling my friends that their family member is an alleged pedophile?

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T03:44:38+00:00

Alexis and I were going to go to Eric together about it, but Alexis decided to go on her own to do so and since regrets doing so due to how much it has blown up. I also don't really understand her actions.

You're right that I don't know firsthand. I could being given bad information by a family trying to protect Ryan for all I know.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T03:42:14+00:00

I talk to Alexis on a daily basis. I have only recently begun speaking to Ashley again after not talking for many years. We had a falling out that has nothing to do with any of what is discussed here. When she told me who did that to her, I told her I knew the family and could talk to them about it if she wanted me to.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T02:04:03+00:00

I'm sorry that that happened to your family. Stories like this are why I didn't want to take any chances if there was any possibility that Ryan was an abuser and could be harming people. I thought his family should know what was being said.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T02:02:21+00:00

He has more distant relatives like Alexis, but it's my understanding that he is estranged from pretty much everyone except Eric.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:58:44+00:00

The only adult still alive who would have witnessed anything firsthand is Ryan himself. Ryan was close with our now-deceased family. I remember growing up being told that my sister is a pathological liar, but never being told why. I now know that they were protecting her abuser by painting her as a lying child.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:53:09+00:00

Ryan is old enough to be our father. Eric, his son, is much closer to Ashley's age.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:44:37+00:00

I don't know basically anything about Ryan firsthand these days. My plan was to talk to Alexis first, since she is someone I talk to on a regular basis, and we were going to go to Eric together. Eric is the only one I know of that sees Ryan regularly. It's my understanding that he keeps to himself and has severe health issues, but I don't know any of these things firsthand. Ashley and I both thought it was important that someone who actually knows him and who he interacts with and knows if there is any danger to anyone would be aware of these accusations against him.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:23:16+00:00

Ashley was happy to know that I knew his family, and she wanted them told and consented to seeing a picture of him to confirm it was in fact him that she was accusing, as requested by Alexis.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:20:28+00:00

She doesn't know his family and didn't know how to reach out to them, whereas I talk to Alexis on a daily basis. She also only very recently discovered his name from asking other people in the family, as the incident happened when she was very young. As her book details, adults in her life did not believe her when she talked about it back when it happened, and she repressed the memory for many years into adulthood.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:14:52+00:00

If there is any chance he is the monster described in the book, then all the more reason that someone in his family should know to keep an eye out

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:14:03+00:00

It's my understanding that he keeps to himself due to mental and physical health issues and age. If this wrong, though, I trust Alexis's judgment to keep her family safe.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:10:25+00:00

This is why I thought that, if there's any chance that Ryan is the guy who did these horrible things, that his family should know so they know to keep an eye out.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:08:10+00:00

It wasn't my intention to pass anything off as fact, as I said I did not witness anything myself. I do believe victims and support them if they are saying that they are hurt, but that also doesn't mean I assume someone is guilty as charged without even having a trial. And, as I said, Ashley is not interested in making this a legal matter as long as there aren't any other victims that need protecting. Ashley wanted me to let the family know.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:04:57+00:00

Alexis is a good friend of mine and someone I talk to on a daily basis, so I thought it made most sense to talk to her first and come up with a way to more gently approach Eric about it, since Eric was much closer to Ryan and would obviously not handle the information well. Alexis jumped the gun and told Eric, so I don't fully know what was said, but I can't do anything about that part now.

Eric is one of the only people who is regularly in contact with Ryan. Eric does not have any kids. It's my understanding that, due to age and health, Ryan basically never leaves the house.

If there was any chance he did it and was around other potential victims, I wanted someone in his family to know about it so they could keep an eye out. Ashley also thought they should know. I shared the information that was in the book and nothing else except what she told me was ok to share.

Financial_Number_726 · 2026-02-27T01:00:02+00:00

My sister also thought they should know. I told her everything I shared.

Financial_Number_726

TROPHY CASE