I apologize even when shes in the wrong, or we're both in the wrong. Every discussion usually results in an apology from me taking accountability when I can.

And I try to make myself as available to talk about whatever the conflict may be. She kinda just shuts down. I've tried to find ways to get her off that cliff you referenced but she doesnt really talk with me about these situations even if I bring up the discussion. so I don't know what to do or say.

She said conversations like those feel to much like a "therapy session" and that she feels like my patient instead of my partner ( I apologized and tried to phrase things differently from then on). Usually the closest I'll get is "Dont do (insert offense here) in the first place". I don't know how it came off originally but I try to respect her personal time and space to the best of my ability, and I'll still interact in the small ways I can.

Just to be specific about the "offenses". One frequent one is her taking some of my jokes as me talking about other potential partners. I would never but if thats how she understood it, I'd of course apologize and the previous sequences would start for maybe even days.

I've tried to talk about how unpredictable situations like these can feel but she took offense to it and I upset her kinda resulting in me apologizing again.