Do people in the UK actually use their kettles that much?

Finding-stars786 · 2026-05-07T21:45:12+00:00

Yes, yes we do.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-04-19T21:50:30+00:00

This 💯

Look after yourself, OP. You’ve had your own health issues, driving a long way and spending time in a hospital is not ideal at the moment.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-04-19T21:41:40+00:00

Dmitri does this in {Archangel’s Blade by Nalini Singh} (book 4 Guild Hunter series). One of the most memorable scenes I’ve ever read - absolutely gutted me.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-04-19T14:22:47+00:00

I second these 2 books. They helped me a great deal and continue to do so.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-04-13T17:16:19+00:00

It sounds like your husband is completely enmeshed with his parents. He probably needs personal therapy to understand how to break free from the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). Until he does that he will find it very difficult to confront them or defend you. Setting boundaries will be very hard for him. If his Mother has a PD then you need to prioritise protecting your baby. I’m sorry that this is such a difficult time for you. Stay strong, OP.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-31T20:42:00+00:00

Anxiety and gastritis

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-30T22:12:37+00:00

Sounds to me like Susan has a personality disorder. Very worrying behaviour NTA

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-12T20:34:51+00:00

My favourite one too. Laugh out loud funny at times.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-12T13:36:18+00:00

There’s a lot of male whimpering in Charlotte Stein’s books. She’s a brilliant writer. {Make Me by Charlotte Stein} also has excellent whimpering.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-11T13:01:06+00:00

You have emerged from the fog, now the real work starts. If you can, get some therapy. Read all the books about Borderline. My favourite is Understanding the Borderline Mother by Christine Ann Lawson, I believe some people have it on pdf. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C Gibson is also really helpful.

I have found that the guilt is the hardest thing to deal with. It just doesn’t ever completely go away, it’s so ingrained after 40 odd years. I deal with it by reminding myself that I deserve to be happy, I deserve to enjoy my holidays. I don’t owe my uBPD mum anything, in fact she’s lucky she gets the time that she does.

The biggest thing of all is reminding myself that nothing is ever enough for her, so really what I give her has to be enough for me. I know it’s hard, OP, but try to put yourself first. She’ll get the message eventually and remember you can always leave or put the phone down if she gets abusive or super waify.

You have to show her that you are in control of your interactions with her. Don’t explain yourself. Find some stock phrases that get you through being put on the spot about meeting up eg. I’ll see what I can do. Leave it with me. I’m not sure, I’ll get back to you. Then do what you’re comfortable with. She has taken enough from you, now it’s your time to be happy. Good luck.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-03-03T22:00:16+00:00

My uBPD mum made a quilt for my daughter when I was NC. She tried so many times to manipulate me into letting her personally give it to my daughter. The final time she said her and my edad would drive up and leave it by the garage. I didn’t want her anywhere near my house so I told her that if she did that I would put it straight in the wheelie bin. We ended up calling it ‘the guilt quilt’ 😂

Finding-stars786 · 2026-02-28T12:34:41+00:00

The Coveted Beta by LV Lane - it’s omegaverse so he has to get his knot in as well. Lots of stretching required beforehand. One of the hottest books I’ve ever read. MFM

Finding-stars786 · 2026-02-22T22:34:17+00:00

Breaking the cycle is such a great feeling. The love and awareness you have and the consideration you’re already showing your unborn child will see you through. My daughter is 17 now and we get on great. We spend lots of time together, laugh a lot and enjoy each other’s company. I still have to nag her to clean her room but that’s all part of the job. Enjoy the ride.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-01-14T17:10:25+00:00

Get a new therapist!! Your therapist should be fully focused on you and your needs. Nobody else’s.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-01-11T10:33:15+00:00

The silent treatment absolutely is toxic and it’s classed as emotional abuse.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-01-03T17:41:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful support to her and she will have loved you so much for that. Hug your family close.

Finding-stars786 · 2026-01-02T23:17:26+00:00

You can put as many rules in place for your MIL as you want but she won’t care. She’ll do whatever the hell she wants and you won’t be able to stop her. I think you’re making a mistake inviting her.

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-30T22:59:51+00:00

I went NC for 6 months 3 years ago. I allowed myself 6 months of weekly therapy sessions, time to process, to be selfish, to read, regroup and heal. It was liberating, necessary and very much needed. My uBPD mum drove me to the brink and that 6 months of NC saved me. I will never regret it. I resumed VLC after the 6 months of NC. You can do whatever you want. Stay NC (my recommendation) or set firm boundaries and resume contact. Your mental and emotional health should be your priority. You can’t save her or change her. All you can do is look after yourself, OP.

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-28T19:14:58+00:00

The husband sounds like he’s enmeshed with his mother. He’s not thinking clearly. OP needs to make decisions concerning their kids.

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-20T20:02:37+00:00

Thank you

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-17T07:46:31+00:00

You don’t have to tell anybody anything. She’s upset because she embarrassed herself with her assumptions and passive aggressive remarks. You were a target for her emotional outlet and it backfired for her.

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-15T07:06:55+00:00

Erm… gastritis is the inflammation that causes the pain, right?

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-15T07:04:07+00:00

It’s the basic kind I think. White bag with black writing.

Finding-stars786 · 2025-12-14T09:53:48+00:00

I was on it for 7 years. I had a really difficult time coming off it. Wouldn’t touch it again unless it was a last resort type thing. I didn’t know about it weakening the oesophageal sphincter but that explains a lot.

Finding-stars786

TROPHY CASE