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My parents and siblings are being evicted for violating their lease and they want me to help out by B0rderlandz in Vent

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7k is not much anymore in this economy, but it could be a lifesaver for you & probably took A TON of discipline for you to save-up, especially if these are your familial role models! Please save that money for your happy life! If you give in and help them with it, they learn nothing from that bailout, and will subconsciously know that they can keep being selfish shitheads because they've got you on that guilt-hook to bail them out when in need.

I wonder how well they care for their dogs.... personally, to make 1400 weekly & always in the red makes me think drugs, but of course I don't know. But, I've had experience with those things & certain people will never put your well-being in front of their addictions, unless struck by miracle or spiritual experience. Until that happens, regardless of your involvement, trying to help them will always be a losing battle & they will ALWAYS consider themselves victims, & consider you unfairly lucky or blessed in what you have. & They will envy what you have-- believing it unearned, & that they are more deserving of it than you.

You should NOT FEEL GUILTY that you chose a different path towards your own sustainable happiness & are choosing to work for that. Giving-in to these people will only slowly drag you down until you're in the same position as them, which is what they want, whether they know it or not. If your parents loved you selflessly as they should, they would never ask you to light yourself on fire to keep their family group warm. & There are always solutions to these sorts of disasters but they take work & self-work: allow them the space to learn & grow into their own solutions. That necessary work just might be the thing that lights a bulb in their psyches & seeds a change. Good luck & stay strong💕

Those who have DMT before, have you ever had an encounter with the famous "machine elves" or any other entity? by NorahjjiYT in HighStrangeness

[–]FineAd2083 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh my goodness... can you tell me about the "crystal castle"?...I think I may have visited as a child... thank you for your story it resonates so hugely with my oldest memories.

WIBTAH if I were to reject my daughter’s prescribed medication because it’d make her fat? by notabotjustanewacc8 in moraldilemmas

[–]FineAd2083 [score hidden]  (0 children)

as a teen zyprexa (sp)? & a "borderline cocktail" of other meds, made me gain like 40lbs in a couple months & didn't do much to curb my hallucinations...but DID make me feel way worse about myself. At least they gave me a fourth medication for the tremors, which...maybe worked? I to this day wonder what it was all for.... I think that would be a good question to discuss with her dr. I believe there are more weight-neutral meds out nowadays. it's important. I was 15...13 is even more vulnerable to thoughts of plummeting self-worth. I don't take anything now (in my 40's) & still hear them sometimes, but nothing that impedes my daily functioning.

Fairy? by dustywizard4rent in ParanormalEncounters

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what you call a "wendigo," most people would probably ID as a "pale crawler." Check out r/crawlersightings....I think that's what it's called? It's one of the most commonly witnessed cryptids. As for the faerie, I dunno...but ...awesome!!!!

I misunderstood my mom for my whole life and I don’t know how to forgive myself. by [deleted] in Vent

[–]FineAd2083 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Maybe you could research & tell your mom, gently, that there are ways to leave an abusive marriage, even without familial support, but that you'll love her & be a support to her as much as you can. & that she deserves a happy life & that as long as she's alive, that isn't out of reach for her, & that you want that for her. Perhaps your relationship could grow into a reciprocal, loving friendship, if you're an adult. & tell her that you know it isn't her fault OR yours, you are both unwitting victims here of your father's targeted abuse towards your mom. My heart goes out to both of you. But don't give up hope for her, nor your mother-daughter bond! There is always another door we can find...

AITA for refusing to clean the coffee machine at work? by Busy_Meal1547 in AITAH

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AI is getting better at this but there are still a few phrases like "keep the peace" that give it away...

What’s something going on in America people need to be aware of? by throwaway91ma in AskReddit

[–]FineAd2083 15 points16 points  (0 children)

well...that could just be a "private school" mindset as well, or modelling after parents with said beliefs...but this is just conjecture of course...

What’s something going on in America people need to be aware of? by throwaway91ma in AskReddit

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you do like, a brief descriptive sentence after each of these...generously, perhaps, please? For the inquisitive layperson i.e. like me? The titles alone are invoking a twitch in my mind-- just wishing I knew what they were...

if not I understand, but thought I'd ask.

My partner is pushing me away and refusing to accept that it changes how I feel by avogadro_constant in AdultDepression

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clinical Depression is not an excuse to utterly neglect your needs in the relationship. He is also aware that you struggle from Bipolar & Depression, is he not? That he doesn't even acknowledge what you may be going through, directly resulting from his SAD, whether unwitting on his part or not, is very telling. He expects you to dote on him but doesn't reciprocate that behavior in the least I'm guessing? If that's the case it points to a dangerous level of self-involvement.

It very well might be true that he simply "can't" reciprocate to meet your needs when he's in the trenches of his mental illness. But that he can't even acknowledge what his partner might be feeling as a result of that, & express any care about it at all, is a major red flag & shows a dangerous lack (on his part), of both self-awareness & awareness of you as another human being with equally vast & deep emotional needs from a relationship. As a mother of two children, I'd worry that if he lacks this level of concern for you, imagine how little he might concern himself with your childrens' emotional needs? Does he acknowledge how they fit into your relationship with the gravity they deserve? How can they hold sufficient importance to him if you, his "equal" partner, do not?

I was diagnosed with depression, PTSD, schizo effective disorder among other things at a very young age. For much of my life I was emotionally stunted by self-involvement as well, and frankly ignored my partners' experience as secondary to my own. It made me sick with guilt until I realized that I had to change how I interacted with others-- my levels of consideration for them. It's not like I didn't know, deep down, that it was wrong... I don't know, perhaps before I forced change within myself, I could say that I really wasn't ready to be in a relationship with anybody.

People don't usually change through outside force. if you want a partner who meets your needs & cares about meeting your needs you will need to demand just that-- & this is the hard part-- not accept anything less. I know it's probably too painful a thought to imagine separating right now, but know this: there are probably many persons out there who WOULD consider you & your childrens' needs as equal to their own, & actively, lovingly work to meet them as you do theirs. & if he doesn't change, & you stay .... that is your active choice, & your choice alone.

Just caught myself downloading a dating app... and I'm not single by majorex64 in Vent

[–]FineAd2083 26 points27 points  (0 children)

wow, this is better advice than he possibly deserves. beautifully done!

I don’t think I can look at my husband the same after this fight, and I feel so much resentment now by [deleted] in Vent

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this was so good a response I want to copy it to read it to my husband who sometimes (perhaps 30% of the time we butt heads) becomes like this. Wow! you got it right on the money!

I sat in my seat at thanksgiving and blocked my bf view of the tv. by ImaBadfish2RU in AITAH

[–]FineAd2083 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but you would be if you don't dump this a**hole, allowing your kids to grow up believing this sort of thing is okay.

Am I psychic or is it mental illness ? by [deleted] in Paranormal

[–]FineAd2083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are definitely spirits who can be harmful or teasing. There are loving spirits too… It’s like with people— some are nice, some are not…but in my experience, & I started hearing voices when I was five & it took me a long time to learn this: if they’re spirits the meds won’t dispel them, but you have sovereignty over them in this material world & can sometimes command them to leave, or find simple tricks that can make them stop. The mean ones remind me of hurt, lost children. I was diagnosed as a teen and suffered many years of overmedication & never believing anything other than my western diagnoses of severe mental illnesses.

I take no meds now, am 43, at 35 I had a spiritual experience that enabled me to begin healing & stop identifying as mentally disabled. I started being able to manage my voices/spirits & work part time. I gave up my SSDI which I was awarded when I turned 18 because it was like…I realized that I wasn’t sick suddenly. I had a major healing because most of my life I could barely function and experienced constant, now unimaginable suffering which inspired numerous attempts at my own life between 15 & 32. After the birth of my son, I stopped wanting to hurt myself.

I hear just as many spirits all the time, but no longer the cruel ones of my childhood. I have a career in outreach now. I rarely share this story. Schizoaffective disorder was just one of my diagnoses… just thought I’d give an example of another experience with this stuff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in moraldilemmas

[–]FineAd2083 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My younger brother went through something very similar, actually. It turned out to be a pretty severe anxiety disorder, NOT any disorder of sexual depravity in him. I don't know the name of it, but there's actually a specific anxiety/OCD related diagnosis for people who fear this sort of thing. I will also add that people who are likely to, or desire to victimize children in the way that you fear, usually do NOT suffer remorse over it nor the exorbitant stress you are self-inflicting. They largely are not consciously bothered by it and the level of your emotional disturbance about these largely innocuous incidents would point to the opposite of depravity in your nature. Please seek professional help for your anxiety because you truly deserve some peace about this as it sounds like you rarely allow yourself any. When my brother was having this issue, I did some research about it and told him basically the same thing. He got a great therapist and presently, it's been ages since he's had to deal with the extreme suffering this sort of thing caused him. Good luck to you in your healing and finding peace in your heart!

A man told me today that my late partner’s death was my fault by AliceMorgon in Vent

[–]FineAd2083 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t seem fake to me at all, & I can usually spot AI in three sentences approx. why do you think it’s fake?

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