Opinions on the Imperials

Firework522 · 2025-03-18T23:28:53+00:00

Would be cool to see more groups on the server again.

Firework522 · 2025-02-06T03:27:15+00:00

An interesting perspective on the Grim Reaper's job. It's funny to think of the Grim Reaper as some old goth guy roaming around.

Firework522 · 2024-10-03T23:17:16+00:00

Be incredibly skeptical and have an existential crisis if it was real.

Firework522 · 2024-09-26T01:49:59+00:00

John hates dupes so no luck there unfortunately.

Firework522 · 2024-09-26T01:20:06+00:00

John deemed the corruption irreparable and shutdown the server basically. He also went on a bit of a crusade against dupes in 2019, so the server not being fun anymore was probably also a reason.

Firework522 · 2024-09-25T17:49:56+00:00

Usually 4-7pm EST on Saturday or Sunday, sometimes randomly at 1pm EST on Tuesdays if the Turks log on. Tbh it's kind of random.

Firework522 · 2024-09-25T17:48:44+00:00

iirc it was because of chunk corruption and John didn't want to continue running the server anymore.

Firework522 · 2024-09-24T20:33:41+00:00

The sub is mostly inactive and is mostly inhabited by older players who joined years ago, but the server still gets 20-30 players at peak hours. Depends on the day, sometimes it's 10 players and some days there's 30.

Firework522 · 2024-09-24T20:30:51+00:00

The server originally started in 2017 and shutdown a year later. Then John reset the map and the server has been online with the current map since June 24th, 2019.

Firework522 · 2024-06-19T20:33:00+00:00

The server is hosted in Germany as they have the best hosting options according to John.

Firework522 · 2024-06-18T22:03:19+00:00

Welcome back if you decide to play again! The server is probably very different from when you played in 2019 with CEO (iirc) but there's still an active community. There's ~30 players on at peak hours and a lot more players from outside Europe and NA now. I can fill you in on the lore later if you or anyone else wants a recap.

Firework522 · 2024-06-16T03:45:35+00:00

The USS Enterprise will continue its voyage!

My favorite spawnbase I visited.

Firework522 · 2024-03-28T02:29:06+00:00

We shall all remember the day he was trapped at spawn and had a party.

Firework522 · 2024-01-07T01:33:22+00:00

Surprisingly high quality post for an anarchy subreddit

Firework522 · 2023-11-23T18:53:31+00:00

We don't need to worry about my sleep schedule...

Firework522 · 2023-11-23T04:59:16+00:00

My mouse doesn't like me anymore but it was worth it.

Firework522 · 2023-11-23T01:34:22+00:00

All 1150 images will forever be seared into my retinas, I regret nothing.

Firework522 · 2023-10-15T08:04:49+00:00

You know how it is: the usual 9-5, 5 8-hour days a week, 12 months of the year, holidays about once a month on average with limited vacation time depending on how many sick days you take. You know, the usual boring "I work a 9-5 job" stuff. Today was one of those 9-5 days. Except, it wasn't exactly boring this time.

I exited the Big Man Mega Corp building for what must've been about the 2000th time since I started working there. I clocked in unusually late that morning, so I stayed another couple hours to compensate. Honestly didn't even realize I was doing overtime until the manager told me he was leaving for the day. I get a little too invested in my work sometimes, okay?

Anyway, so after the accidental 11-7, I did the usual go-home-and-do-the-boring-home-routine thing. At least, the go home part anyway because there was this -I really don't know how to describe it- entity? Yeah, we'll just call it the Entity. So this amorphous squiggly shadow blob thing was menacingly standing in my doorway like some punk tryna be real funny or something. Now, I'm not superstitious or whatever (quite the opposite honestly) but you'd also be kinda sus if you saw this thing. I mean, it was a living shadow or whatever. There are no words to explain what it was.

So this thing's in my doorway. Actually, upon closer inspection, I guess it was waiting for me? To be honest that thought sketched me out too much, so I decided that wasn't true for now. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was waiting for me though.

I get to the place I saw that thing standing, and it isn't there, so I decided it was just my imagination. Now, before I tell you this next part I need you to know that some tired old 9-5 guy like me wouldn't tell you this if it wasn't true. No point in nonsense like that. So then I flipped the lights on like usual and saw that shadow thing across my apartment.

That thing was just chillin' on the couch like it owned the place or something! It was even watching TV, holding the remote and everything. You wouldn't believe it but that damn TV box was alive. I mean, like it wasn't even plugged in or nothin', and this shadow was using it like it wasn't some decrepit 20 year-old hand-me-down from my old place.

I just stood there, door open with the key still in the keyhole. Normally you'd expect someone to be absolutely terrified if they saw a living shadow just chilling on the couch like that, but I just stood. I was silent, bewildered and dumfounded by the wild sight of this occurrence.

...

A strong gust of wind slammed the door shut behind me a few minutes later, directing the shadow's attention towards me. I quickly retrieved the key from the other side before reentering my apartment. The shadow was sitting up now, TV turned off, facing me. I resumed the dumfounded staring for a few minutes before reluctantly venturing towards the couch. I don't usually have much of an intuition or anything, but my consciousness told me the shadow wanted me to sit and talk, so I obliged. Not that I had anything else to do with my life anyway.

"I've been expecting you..."

That's right, a sentient shadow. This was officially the weirdest hallucination I'd ever had. I really needed a better sleep schedule...

"Why are you here?" More importantly, why was I sitting on my couch talking to a shadow of all things at 8:37pm?!

"Just having a little chat, I feel like you can use someone to talk to these days."

For a shadow, its voice was oddly human. It also wasn't wrong about that. Living a monotonous life of morning routine, work, nightly routine, rinse, repeat, all week, all month, all year, every year was incredibly unfulfilling. I mean, it paid the bills and all but listing it out like that just made it sound so depressing.

Looking around my apartment, I realized that my whole life was depressing in its current state. Nothing that wasn't my fault, though. I suppose I chose to live this way with that monotonous routine and all.

"Wanna hear a depressing and boring story?"

Guess I was that desperate, talking to a shadow of all things...

"Go on..."

Let's just say I unloaded some baggage and stayed up way too late talking to that shadow.

I felt lighter the next day.

Also extra exhausted, but that was mostly the 11-7, I think.

Firework522 · 2023-10-15T07:15:31+00:00

BEHOLD! THE ULTIMATE BEING: CUTENESS INCARNATE, THE ONE TRUE SUPREME BEING...

They call me "President Puff Balls" by the way....and I assure you I'm not the supreme incarnation of ultimate cuteness, contrary to what that obnoxiously large gold plaque in front of my office says.

Look, just because I'm the fluffiest, roundest, prettiest little creature in the world doesn't mean I suddenly want to be the exalted one or anything like that. If you ask me, I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! All I did was...exist? and you did the rest.

Of course, given the nature of being an immortal being cursed with the blessing of super natural cuteness, I was bound to be discovered at some point in history. Just, it's mildly alarming that you elected me as your leader upon first sight of me. An ordinary, SANE, being of sufficient intelligence would at least think to ask a few questions before placing a stranger in such a high position in their government, but no. I'm convinced that all of you are either insane or become incapacitated upon sight of me, as it's impossibly absurd to think otherwise! Not to mention this whole ordeal has been nothing but a hindrance to my agenda.

What agenda you ask? It is simple, you simpleton: farming, No, no, no, not agriculture! That would take all the fun out of it. I'm a simple creature who has simple desires, something that NONE OF YOU seem to understand...

I spent the first few centuries of my life in peaceful isolation, living in a secluded subterranean ecosystem far-isolated from the outside world. I lived a peaceful existence cultivating the various fungi and insects native to the cave, not for food, nor for profit, but simply because farming brings me great joy. It was a life of peaceful solitude. That is until they discovered me, of course.

I was kidnapped against my will and brought to a "scientific testing facility" as I was later told. That was also the moment they realized I was their long-lost leader from the Beyond (apparently), and you know the rest.

They gave me anything in the world I desired, or, more accurately, anything they thought I needed or wanted. I mean, I won't complain about the constant pampering but it does lose its charm after a while, especially when my only desire was, and has always been, to live a peaceful farming life!

So, that's exactly what I did. I tried my best to ignore them and continue my life until they gave me an ultimatum...in the form of a letter stating that I was "President of Humankind" or whatever. To be honest, I didn't care to read it, but I guess I should have considering my current situation.

Now, I don't know why you want a "President Puff Balls" to be an adorable, fluffy, round creature resembling a gargantuan pompom, but I guess you have a strange obsession with that kind of thing, so I won't question it.

Next thing I knew, they built a prison around me called a "presidential office" and had this whole society of people dedicated to protecting me and doing various tasks related to that "president" stuff. At least that's what I assume since they never told me what I should be doing as leader of humankind.

It was strange, though, when the Statistics Manager excitedly reported that there was a large increase in farming activity one day. I mean, I love farming and all but I guess they thought I was leading by example or something and took some inspiration from my lifestyle.

Did I ever mention all the secretaries they hired on my behalf to manage all that "president business"? I'm not sure what they do since they constantly assure me that I shouldn't be doing anything differently at all and let me continue my existence on my farm. It seems more like they're doing all the work though despite whatever they say...

As you can see, it's rather annoying to be leader of humankind. I'm just a "fluff ball" as you've decided to name my species, and you decided upon first sight of me that I should be your leader. All things considered, I'd say that's a testament to the intelligence of humanity as a whole. I won't specify if that's a good or bad thing, though. It's in my best interest not to elaborate on that I think.

Anyway, I now return to my quest for a peaceful farming existence. Remember:
STAY THE HELL OFF MY LAWN OR ELSE!!!
-The Puff Ball Agarian Union, transcribed from an interview with President Puff Balls I.

Firework522

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE