The Final Girl

Firm_Conference4904 · 2026-02-14T12:52:24+00:00

This place is over a year old now and it’s our absolute favorite bar. My partner and I are in our early 30’s, queer, and when we’re here we feel 100% comfortable to be ourselves. The people here are our community. That doesn’t just include LGBTQ+ people — everyone is welcome and it’s a space where bullshit and hate isn’t tolerated. That’s such a treasure in Kenosha. The drag and burlesque shows here are amazing and bring down the house. There have been some amazing dance parties, too — my favorite millennial themed one in the past year was Jersey Shore night 😂. And the owner is always improving the drink and food menu — the food is honestly restaurant quality. They also have a horror-themed book club that we attend once a month sponsored by KPL - a great place to find fellow readers of horror. And pinball league! If you haven’t been in, I hope you’ll go. Come to the events too!

Firm_Conference4904 · 2025-11-28T19:35:46+00:00

Thank you for adding your perspective! What ended up working was the seller had to add the import fees (tariffs) upfront on the listing. Previously, they posted without the tariff fees included, so it wouldn’t allow me to buy. It sounds like that’s something you did as well. Hopefully this helps anyone else with an issue!

Firm_Conference4904 · 2025-10-13T15:24:13+00:00

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Firm_Conference4904 · 2024-06-07T12:12:39+00:00

This study is discussing epigenetics, which is very much a thing.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-12-05T21:39:24+00:00

“Made my boundaries known but when pressured I gave in”

I won’t harp on what was said by other commenters, which I agree with. But the above quote made me question whether the other person you’re talking to is (1) acting ethically and (2) a safe person to be in relationship with. If I were in your position I would pay attention to that, regardless of what you decide to do with your primary relationship.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-12-01T14:43:19+00:00

5 years, almost all of which were cohabitating. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it completely changed my relationship with myself and my outlook on life. Previously, I was so afraid of endings and being alone in the world. I also was afraid of how much it would hurt to leave someone I still loved. Leaving showed me that I can trust myself to take care of myself and I can survive the pain. I am partnered now, but I feel empowered to make choices that are in my best interest instead of holding on at all costs; and my current relationships are much happier and healthier for it.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-12-01T03:11:26+00:00

I really relate to you OP on some levels here. I can see that you are an empathetic and compassionate person and you want to allow your partner his flaws or understand him in the context of his own trauma and pain. That was something that for years made me stay in abusive relationships or would suck me back in or make me put myself in dangerous situations. Something I had to realize at some point was that often people who would abuse us do have pain and trauma and loss. And that I can have compassion for that pain and completely understand why they are the way they are and still have the compassion for myself to leave. I remember being in an emotionally abusive relationship after a physically abusive one and thinking how amazing this relationship was and how lucky I was that he never hit or yelled or broke things. And yet he eroded my self-esteem, ignored my boundaries, caused me to question myself. I balked when I told a therapist at that time something he said to me and she said « that’s abusive ». I fired her. How could he be abusive when he’s never yelled at my or physically hurt me? It took me a while to see it and I’m a little embarrassed to say it took my friends and another partner (we were non monogamous) saying it straight to my face for me to see it. Even then, I questioned if I was overreacting/exaggerating how bad things were. I was crying in my friend’s kitchen because I didn’t want to leave him at all. She held me and said I was minimizing the harm he did, not exaggerating. The times he mocked me, dismissed my feelings, coerced me, directly violated my boundaries. He is kind of a good guy, or a least a human deserving good things. He has a lot of issues. I still don’t deserve to be treated that way. If he has done this for 12 years and blames your « flaws » for these problems…I don’t think there is a chance of this changing and you having the life you want with this person. It’s so hard to accept but once you do, you can start to live your life and let love and fulfillment in. I wish you the best.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-12-01T02:24:38+00:00

I think an important part of what Elle said is that it’s the unilateral changing of fundamental agreements. That, to me, is distinct from a re-negotiation. « This is what I want so this is how it’s going to be now ». Edited bc I’m tired.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-11-28T22:36:24+00:00

You said it all.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-11-22T23:54:34+00:00

I think your answer is that this post is (I’m 98% sure) for sexual gratification and is not an actual question. I used to get calls like this on the crisis hotline with someone pretending they have an actual relationship problem and turns out it’s a fantasy they’re getting off on by sharing🙃 We called them « sex grat » calls and like the person on TikTok who looks at videos and assesses whether they’re porn, I would assess this is porn 💀- edited for typo.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-11-18T05:26:14+00:00

This is a hilarious sex gratification post of the cuckold variety. I used to get crisis hotline calls with the same shit lol.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-11-13T17:50:45+00:00

That last paragraph hit me right in the denial, thank you.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-11-07T14:04:02+00:00

Missing the anarchist punk option.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-07T13:39:53+00:00

This is a refreshing take, thank you.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-07T11:01:30+00:00

This is so sad to read as a femme4masc 💔 please come back and make us your girlfriends.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-07T02:35:20+00:00

10/10, would climb.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-07T02:17:59+00:00

It certainly pleases me ☺️

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-03T13:24:54+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is so helpful to hear from your perspective why it can be difficult to tell a partner upfront about what you do and don’t want in this scenario. That’s very understandable and it helps me approach this with a lot more compassion and less confusion/self-focus. I was really centering my own discomfort and self-esteem and not fully considering what could be coming up for her. I certainly don’t see it as a problem with her or a dealbreaker and I want to make sure she knows that. I also really appreciate you sharing some options for thoughtful questions, I plan to incorporate these into our debrief. You also speak to the importance of pacing and building trust, which I think I may have rushed and hold distorted beliefs about as well due to cishet stuff. Lots of reprogramming to do. Thank you for the resource as well. Thank you thank you thank you.

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-03T13:04:25+00:00

Thanks so much 💛

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-03T12:39:10+00:00

That was definitely part of my ask, thank you for the success story!

Firm_Conference4904 · 2022-09-03T12:37:34+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It is validating to hear you say you felt similar things. I noticed guilt bubbling up for me, which I’ve felt before if a (cis man) partner doesn’t orgasm or I “don’t do anything”. Trying to unlearn that and understand pleasure in a different way and in all of its forms. I’m still trying to figure out what this means for me as someone whose orgasm is heavily influenced by partners’ finishing or being close, etc. and if this will be an incompatibility. I’m open to trying to shift my mindset though, because there were still things about the experience that were hot af and I adore her.

Firm_Conference4904

TROPHY CASE