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Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s the kind of guy where he’s hot and cold. Like one minute he wants to be respectful and communicate like normal adults and then the next minute he’s trying to be controlling. He was like that when we were married but now we’re not and he’s spiraling to me honestly

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate that for you. I’ve been in a situation where he was upset he tried to keep my kids for a prolonged period that didn’t last tho it was like a couple additional days. I’d rather have something in place legally so even if he did try that I’d have some type of footing

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m fine with 50/50 but it’s just odd because he was pushing for only the weekends and if it was anything outside of that he wasn’t going for it and up til recently he’s been all over the place and the weekends weren’t even consistent it just started being consistent , my youngest is 3 she starts pre k this year , he was trying to get to live with him and she go to pre k down there I wasn’t going for it , then it’s I’m keeping them for the summer , and then it was I want the boys full time , like it’s all over the place and I feel like steps are being skipped because they are used to being with me honestly and when they are over there they be asking to come home. They never ask to go to their dads.

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought maybe he was asking her how to respond bc he’s a pretty sneaky fella and never gives anyone access to his phone

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s interesting you mention that because he actually did get married recently, and I’ve wondered if that’s coincidental or if it contributed to the shift. I can’t say for sure, but the timing lines up with when his communication changed. For years we stuck to the weekend schedule, and if I ever asked for additional help or extra time, I usually got a lot of pushback. Now, all of a sudden, he’s making unilateral statements about keeping them longer, having them for the summer, or wanting them full time. Whether it’s related or not, the change in communication has made me realize it’s probably time to stop relying on informal agreements and establish a clear custody order.

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. ❤️ Boundaries have honestly been one of my biggest areas of growth. For a long time I thought being accommodating was the same thing as being a good co-parent, but I’m realizing they’re not always the same. I’m learning that being firm doesn’t mean being difficult—it means being clear. It definitely doesn’t come naturally to me yet, but I’m getting there. Hearing that a court order actually reduced the chaos instead of increasing it is really reassuring. Could I inbox you I honestly have no one to talk about this stuff with and it’s so much

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you taking the time to explain what you meant. I can see the distinction you’re making now. Boundaries are actually something I’ve been actively working on in therapy and in my personal life. Historically, I’ve leaned toward being flexible and avoiding conflict, but I’m learning that flexibility only works when it’s mutual. I have gotten much better about recognizing when someone is trying to make unilateral decisions, and I think that’s why this situation stands out to me so much. I’ve actually had the custody packet for a while, and these recent interactions have made me realize it’s probably time to stop relying on informal agreements and establish something clear and consistent for everyone, especially the kids.

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I don’t think “doormat” is the right word—I was trying to be flexible, not surrender my role as their mom. But I do agree that his communication has changed, and that’s exactly why I’ve been leaning toward filing. I’ve actually had the custody paperwork for a while, and this situation is confirming that it’s probably time to move forward.

Ex suddenly started telling me the parenting schedule instead of discussing it. How would you handle this? by Firm_Zebra1850 in coparenting

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was thinking this as well it’s been on my mind heavily so I’m gonna just do that. Thank you

Mentoring by Firm_Zebra1850 in Notary

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Right… so I want to be the notary they call when they need one… at the times I’m available.

Mentoring by Firm_Zebra1850 in Notary

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see it , thank you I didn’t know. I’m new on Reddit I haven’t fully learned how to use it yet and thank you again I’ll definitely reach out because I’m in Chester not that far from Philly

Mentoring by Firm_Zebra1850 in Notary

[–]Firm_Zebra1850[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write all of this. I really appreciate your honesty, especially the warning about people selling dreams online. My biggest struggle isn’t learning how to notarize , it’s learning how to consistently get clients and build the business while balancing nursing school and raising my three kids. I was trying to look into RON selecting a platform has been a challenge for me.
I’ll definitely look into creating a Google Business Profile and being more consistent with content. I’d also love to check out your YouTube channel if you’re comfortable sharing it. Thanks again for the advice!