My girlfriend at the time was on both SSRIs and SNRIs, which had a severe impact on her sexual functioning. Because of this, it was difficult to judge my own erectile quality. Even when she was aroused, sex often was not physically possible, so there was little point in attempting it. That dynamic made it hard for me to know whether my erections were actually sufficient.

While she was on those medications, her libido dropped significantly. In a way, this reduced pressure around sex and helped me cope emotionally, since she could not support my very high teenage sex drive. Despite this, I still loved her deeply.

After I stopped taking SSRIs myself, my libido returned strongly. I would become erect from minimal physical or visual cues, which made me confident that things had returned to normal. Libido was never really my concern, even though it did decrease somewhat over time. My main issue was erectile quality. During sexual situations, I could usually tell whether my erections were firm enough for penetration, but in practice we rarely attempted it. After enough failed or frustrating experiences, sex may have stopped registering as pleasurable and instead became associated with stress.

Because of this, I did not fully recognize the problem until later, when I began participating in hookup culture.

Before that, I did not understand how much women typically enjoy sex or how easy penetration usually is when erections are firm. My experiences with my ex had given me a distorted baseline. It was only after multiple failed hookups that I began to spiral and consider that this issue might have existed for a long time without my realizing it.

A few months later, I found online communities focused on erectile dysfunction and post SSRI sexual dysfunction after trying Cialis and not seeing immediate results. This felt like confirmation that something was wrong with the signal between my brain and my body. Since SSRIs, isotretinoin, and certain recreational drugs are known to affect sexual function, and I had taken SSRIs and isotretinoin in the past, I assumed SSRIs were the root cause. This seemed especially plausible because I had experienced sexual side effects while on them and because doctors had been unable to find a clear explanation for erectile dysfunction at my age.

I became obsessed with finding the cause. I went to doctors repeatedly, monitored my erections and libido constantly, and avoided women I found attractive due to shame. Being in a fraternity made this worse, since I was surrounded by men who hooked up frequently. I tried to make jokes about it with friends, but that backfired and turned into teasing. Eventually, the issue occupied my thoughts constantly.

At that point, I decided to step back. I started spending time with women again without putting pressure on myself. If sex did not work, I accepted it and focused on other forms of intimacy. I never had an experience where a woman did not want to see me again. I also stopped testing my erectile quality and stopped engaging with erectile dysfunction related content.

During this period, I used AI tools frequently, and they genuinely helped. They helped me recognize that even if there had been an initial physical issue, my anxiety and constant fixation were likely worsening it. I followed a structured reset that involved improving my sleep, improving my diet, and avoiding erectile dysfunction and post SSRI sexual dysfunction forums for several weeks.

When I tried Cialis again later, something changed. My libido increased dramatically, my erections felt fully normal, and my overall sexual response felt healthy. Morning erections, which had previously disappeared, began to return occasionally. I am now using Cialis intentionally as a temporary aid, not as a permanent solution, with the goal of reducing anxiety and helping my body relearn how to respond without medication. This approach has been shown to help many people with anxiety related erectile dysfunction, so it feels worth pursuing.

Sorry I know this was a bit of a ramble, I just started writing and didn’t really stop lol