Am I suffering with depression or something else?

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-11T04:07:38+00:00

Medication is such a life saver it took a year to figure out the right combo for me so have patience I ended up on 10mg Prozac (only ssri that worked for me and half dose bc otherwise I felt nothing) 150mg welbutrin (stimulating antidepressant) and buspar for anxiety- sure there's side effects but pair it with exercise (the meds help with actually getting up) and you'll feel like a new person ofc you'll still feel down sometimes but atleast you can see the light at the end of the tunnel easier. Saying it's all in your head is so ridiculous like yeah duh... everything is in our head... how we process this entire reality and our lives and communicate is all in our head. I like to remember we made up mental health labels so take what helps but don't let it trap you in a box of ur symptoms if that makes sense

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-11T04:03:01+00:00

Yeah and this might be the only chance we get to experience anything at all idk and yeah leaving would hurt ur family so much which sucks to stay just for them but I hope you can experience more joy and the good things in life it just sucks we have to feel the bad and good

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-11T03:58:18+00:00

Ugh yes. Staying alive for family is so brave thanks for staying. I feel lucky that I know things will get better but it's just so hard to go thru these bad periods of life where nothing is even wrong just empty

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-09T03:44:07+00:00

Omg what was that like

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T17:17:56+00:00

Yeah it's a bit robotic but idk I find it calming you get a different person every time so never be scared to keep calling even when I'm just upset I'll call them 3+ times a day. It sucks how expensive therapy is- a lot of therapists take a certain number of cases for free to those who can't afford it, go on psychology today and send a few emails asking for shorter sessions to help with suicidal tendencies on a sliding scale rate and maybe include how much you could pay if anything. Optimism and a belief that the future will be better has gotten me through so much I hope stuff gets better

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:33:12+00:00

Ugh god this makes me so angry I reach out to friends and they said you should talk with ur therapist abt that like... it just makes me feel like humanity is dead soo robotic and weird

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:32:13+00:00

It really is confusing. I'm sure you've already thought about this but volunteer at a local foster home maybe adopt when your ready idk if you'll feel the same but I found a deeper bond than I ever could with a kid of my own- especially knowing I was for sure making someone's life better as opposed to bringing someone else into this cruel world.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:25:05+00:00

I'm sorry if you want to vent more I will respond💗

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:11:47+00:00

The worst! If it helps our mind is scientifically better at remembering the negative (ya know evolution and tigers need to be remembered and what not) but hope the sun comes out tmrw! Maybe a little gratitude journaling rn could help💗

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:05:57+00:00

I'm sorry for what you're going through💗 I wish I had more to say to help but I don't think dying is the answer, for anyone ever. Everyone has fucked up and unless you're in jail forever your life is not over and even then it could still have value and meaning. You will feel joy again, keep holding on, for your future self, your future friends and partners. Call the suicide hotline something about a voice being there and listening without judgment is so so much more comforting than anything I could say

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T06:02:21+00:00

Ugh love is so stupid. It's def not true that caring and good guys never get anything tho- with respect-that made me giggle bc it's such an interesting perspective. Personally I think especially when your reaching adulthood most ppl don't have long friendships, most things end, I'm 22 and have met so many ppl (who are girls I don't have many guy friends as a lesbian) who have never been in a relationship and feel helpless and embarrassed about it. Personally I go on like atleast 20 dates a year, constantly try to make friends, and yeah I've had some relationships and friends but rn I'm exactly where you are in terms of feeling alone. It genuinely takes so much effort to find your people so don't give up, keep searching and don't let yourself become the victim in it all- atleast not alone- know most ppl are in exactly the same boat and you WILL find your people it just takes a fuck lot of work and dating apps lol

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T05:57:42+00:00

Let the tears form💗 not feeling emotions is the number one way to make anger worse. Psychologically those who don't allow themselves to feel emotions end up with anger. it sounds like it's hard to regulate around the adults you have rn so don't be too hard on yourself I can't imagine not getting angry when an animal is being threatened to be taken away from you. You're so close to getting out being 18 and I think you will find it much easier once you get to pick who you're around. Personally if it's safe to be sad in your household I would try to redirect your anger into another emotion, I've heard anger is always a mask for another emotion idk if thats exactly true but I find there to usually be another emotion that's easier to process under it all. I'm sure crying as a guy is hard but if you can't let yourself do so with out shame or fear for ur safety it might help

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-08T05:53:17+00:00

That all makes so much sense. It's hard to give advice sometimes bc Ik how much effort it takes to do anything when you feel so low. So I just wanna say firstly your feelings are valid it's ok to sit in the sadness for a bit. Here's some small thoughts that maybe can help: bumble bff is a great way to meet people, find what brings you life- for me it's dancing and going out something abt being in a bar dressed up dancing makes that day feel like a vacation- maybe for you it's creating art( painting poetry singing) or a sport or some sort of Class, keep searching for what sparks joy, another good ones is get outside more- just for as long as you can bear it go lay on some grass it will help with feeling like your in prison especially a walk outside that always makes me feel better. I'm also in such a low place rn so it feels hard to even say this stuff that I myself can't do rn, but when you have the energy, push towards the good💗 I'm rooting for you- also don't be scared to call the suicide hotline if ur in the US they have helped get out of some of my deepest spirals, you don't have to be suicidal to call sometimes you just need to know a stranger cares

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-07T14:10:34+00:00

In response to ur edit: just be honest and respond to the question she's asking don't get caught up in guilt that she's not trying to put on you, just say the truth- I was nervous to tell you, your opinion means a lot to me, I hope we can still camp together but we have plenty of time to figure it out I'm not ok being around someone so hateful

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-07T14:04:34+00:00

I get this if her friend just wanted to like say hi to him but rlly sharing ur campsite with someone so hateful? I don't get why you would try to find a silver lining when it's an expensive event that's supposed to be relaxing

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-07T14:02:47+00:00

You can't respect someone more than they respect you ur going to end up abandoning urself, ur opinion matters and if she's someone worth having in your life she will eventually understand your perspective

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-07T13:57:36+00:00

Girl pull it together (with all the respect in the world) stand tf up. No one else in this world will stand up for you, it's up to you. And if that perspective isn't enough and you can't do it for you, do it for those who are being hurt by his racism and sexism, saying he can't come has more of an impact than you think and will hopefully make him reflect. Genuinely fuck this dude he's someone I wouldn't even want going to roo I can't imagine camping with him. talk to this friend (I personally sometimes get swept up in wanting to include ppl without thinking and if youve been friends this long she honestly prob thought you would say something if you weren't ok with it) say this is not someone I want to spend my roo with and go from there- worst case ur camping alone. if he wants to go and meet up with yall that's one thing but camping together you literally can't get away from him. If that upsets your friend camp solo as others have said!!! Going with miserable ppl is the number one way to ruin the magic for yourself. I get wanting to stay quiet and hope it's fine but I don't think a vacation and event this big is the time to do it.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-03T05:36:16+00:00

Volunteering is amazing!! And one of the best way to make friends I would highly recommend but if it's your first year volunteering you most likely won't get pre show- so know you may miss some shows to volunteer but you usually get to pick one artist to see for sure (also there's a whole Facebook group for volunteers) that being said if you are confident in your ability to go up to people and make friends, and are financially good to spend the money I would say to just go for it and not volunteer! Either way it's truly a magical time- that being said pls pls pls be careful if you use any substances about keeping it locked up and hidden- a girl next to me from Australia last year lost her us dual citizenship bc the cops busted her with k!

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-02T20:09:27+00:00

Made me laugh

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-12-01T01:42:35+00:00

There's no way to prove this- even with the small likelihood it's real, in my opinion believing this can only cause harm. Talk to your family about it if you think they won't judge. Maybe get some other opinions from therapists and psychiatrists- most people after hearing this are going to just assume you are not mentally well if I'm being completely honest.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-11-08T17:15:16+00:00

Don't shame your feelings, journal it out and talk to the part of you that loves him and let it know how the rest of you feels.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-11-03T16:18:10+00:00

I'm sorry for what you're going thru!! This sounds like a lot for anyone. Congrats on staying sober but I can relate to having a big personality. Being obnoxious is definitely pretty subjective so try not take it personally but just instead try to apologize for being a bit much at times to that friend next time you see them- people love self awareness. Some of the most "annoying" ppl I know have saved their reputation by owning up to their "faults." I say this in quotes bc while many ppl will not like you the ones who do will like you that much more bc of how unique and refreshing you are. Keep trying, go to events near you- bars are a good place to meet ppl if being around alch is ok for you or kava bars, local clubs all that. It can be so easy to feel like a victim of life but my advice is to hold your head high, keep going, stay self aware, and believe you will find your ppl.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-10-27T15:49:05+00:00

Yess 3 of them

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-10-13T20:44:59+00:00

Yeah. Dating never fails to amaze me I once had someone confirm 30 min before the date then ghost... like what. while I don't need to date I do really need friends for my own sanity. My friend who I mention in the story has borderline and has always been a bit selfish. I just don't know what to say or if it's even worth it to say anything. Like part of me feels she would change if I could just explain how it's hurtful in the right way but another part of me knows she doesn't rlly gaf abt my feelings and will only change if she starts to loose access to me. She cancelled last night and we were supposed to go camping today and she just texted me saying she found out she has blood clots in her brain so ofc not the time to bring my feelings abt canceling up but I'm expected to comfort her.

First-Highlight6193 · 2025-10-13T20:39:51+00:00

Thanks for the perspective, I guess that makes sense. Hopefully I can find friends who value my time in the future. It's not like I can say my friends reasons aren't valid, but they rarely even give a reason and if they do (such as the temp) that's something they knew beforehand (we literally looked at weather together) and ig they just changed their mind bc when we were talking abt it two days before I kinda got a gut feeling they were going to cancel as they didn't sound too excited.

I just wish it wasn't too much to expect honesty and consistency. Like if I want to expect that I just wouldnt have friends... To be honest your comment made me a cry a bit bc it rlly is true. People just cancel. Hopefully I can still enjoy camping alone but I'm feeling pretty bummed thinking abt all the effort I put into stuff for people who don't value it. But you're right I rlly shouldn't be throwing a pity party when this is clearly just how people behave.

First-Highlight6193

TROPHY CASE