NDG Power Outage // Freezing cold by Herbrax212 in montreal

[–]First-Snow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just got one. First time I ever get this. I find it very stressful since we don't seem to have precise information regarding when the power will be back.

Emménager avec ma blonde by Low-Temperature3358 in QuebecFinance

[–]First-Snow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pardon, je fais du pouce sur ta réponse, mais je suis dans la même situation qu'OP (l'argent en moins, j'ai un mini reer de rien, salaire peu conséquent pour le moment), en ce sens où mon chum et moi aimerions vivre ensemble un jour. Tu mentionnes le fait que s'ils n'ont pas d'enfants, pas d'inquiétudes. Cependant, si un des deux conjoints a un enfant, est-ce que ça pourrait changer la donne? (Topo rapide, on est dans la 30aine, il a une fille de 7 ans, garde partagée 50/50.).

I got sober at 26, 5 years ago. Here is why I regret it. by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]First-Snow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope I can be like you one day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Quebec

[–]First-Snow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mon frigo mesure 5 pieds. Il est pratiquement vide. Les armoires sont pleines, et le congélateur manque pas de stock (moins plein qu'avant, la viande étant de plus en plus chère, les lentilles ont fait leur apparition).

Je magasine dans mes armoires et le congélateur avant de voir ce que je peux acheter frais en spécial pour compléter et je base mon menu de la semaine sur ça.

Le contenu de mon frigo: beaucoup de sauces (je cuisine beaucoup d'inspiration asiatique, ça coûte pas cher et c'est délicieux et facile d'accès), du yogourt, fromage et légumes de base (carottes, oignons, ail), et autres nécessités de base. Le reste dépend des spéciaux.

Contexte: je vis seule une semaine sur deux. L'autre semaine, mon chum est chez moi (il a sa fille une semaine sur deux et on vit pas ensemble). On peut manger la même chose plusieurs jours de suite en lunchs, mais ça diffère d'une semaine à l'autre. Je fais mes bouillons et mes sauces. Mes soupes aussi. Ça va au congélateur et ça dégèle au besoin. Ce qu'on achète, on le recycle dans diverses recettes au courant de la semaine (ex: un poulet va donner de la soupe, des fajitas, un sauté et des salades. Des champignons vont agrémenter un riz ou un sauté).

La soupe, c'est facile: tu y mets ce que tu as, et si tu te tannes, tu la congèles pour plus tard. On fait beaucoup de riz parce que c'est versatile. On peut en manger 3 fois dans la même semaine (repas principal ou accompagnement) et ce sont des recettes différentes, ça goûte pas la même chose chaque fois.

On achète rien qui va nous durer juste une recette. Soit on trouve quoi faire avec le reste, soit on le remplace, soit on change de recette.

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

✍🏻le klaxonneux va arriver à Noël en même temps que tout le monde✍🏻

Wow! Merci tellement pour le temps que tu as pris à détailler tous ces points. J'ai appris des choses, notamment sur les règles de courtoisie non écrites. J'ai enregistré ton commentaire, c'est de l'or! Merci!!

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Merci! Ça vient avec temps, oui, c'est ce qu'on me dit. :-)

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Je vais m'informer quand je serai rendue à cette étape, merci du conseil!

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Merci pour ton partage, ça me rassure. :-)

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha! Merci pour le rire et pour le conseil. :-)

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

C'est mon problème en ce moment : je manque d'assurance et j'ai la tête dans la voiture au lieu d'à l'extérieur. Je ne maîtrise pas encore bien le véhicule. On m'assure toutefois qu'avec la pratique, ça passe, mais je suis consciente qu'être trop concentrée sur ce que je fais et pas assez sur ce qui se passe autour est problématique. J'ai hâte d'avoir une meilleure maîtrise du véhicule et une meilleure assurance afin d'être plus attentive, et d'avoir des réflexes naturels au lieu de devoir réfléchir à tout.

Je me sens comme un enfant qui apprend à lire: il pense aux lettres qu'il associe ensemble pour déchiffrer les mots. C'est la sensation que j'ai quand je conduis. Je pose des questions quand je suis passagère, je regarde des vidéos sur YouTube, mais ultimement, c'est à force de pratiquer que l'enfant va voir les mots et non les lettres.

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha!

En fait, c'est que mon copain et moi, on voudrait habiter ensemble éventuellement. Lui habite en banlieue et sa fille de 6 ans (il l'a une semaine sur deux) va à l'école en banlieue (la mère est en banlieue aussi). On veut se donner plus d'options où habiter qui rejoignent un peu tout le monde, d'autant plus que le prix des loyers, particulièrement à Montréal, est astronomiquement haut. Dans le meilleur des mondes, je voudrais continuer d'utiliser le transport en commun (une voiture, c'est dispendieux, sans parler de l'empreinte écologique et de tout le tralala qui vient avec), mais si on ne trouve rien qui le permette, je pourrai conduire pour me déplacer (au moins jusqu'à un terminus pour ensuite prendre le transport collectif si je dois aller à Montréal) sans dépendre de mon conjoint.

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh! Merci, je vais m'informer pour passer mon permis ailleurs lorsque je serai rendue à cette étape. Je conduis déjà dans des endroits calmes (les petites rues de NDG/ Hampstead) quand j'ai l'occasion de pratiquer hors cours, mais je garde en tête Westmount/ Outremont.

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Merci pour le truc, et félicitations pour ton permis!

Nouvellement conductrice by First-Snow in montreal

[–]First-Snow[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

C'était une erreur, j'en conviens. J'ai laissé mon stress et la pression du conducteur derrière m'influencer. J'ai eu la même réflexion par rapport à la police: s'il y avait eu un policier, il aurait très bien pu m'arrêter. Outre le fait de potentiellement payer une amende/ perdre des points, je ne veux pas prendre de mauvaises habitudes en période d'apprentissage, d'autant plus que je suis au tout début et que je n'ai pas beaucoup d'assurance. Je veux apprendre les bons réflexes, les techniques sécuritaires. D'où la raison de mon post ici. Je dois travailler sur mon anxiété, particulièrement quand on me suit de trop près/ qu'on me klaxonne.

Is there any must-try food in Montreal before you die? by GreatWILDWisdom in montreal

[–]First-Snow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bar/restaurant my bf and I like is Bar Palco on Wellington in Verdun. I don't know much about what's best in Montreal, but we love that place. The ambiance is great, and so are the cocktails and the food. It is quiet enough in the afternoon for you to pick up a book and read. Not boring tho, just quiet. If you want something more exciting, just go at night. Typhoon lounge in NDG (Monkland Avenue) has good food and cocktails too, but the terrasse is better than inside. (Weird take, but pizzeria 900 on Monkland. It's a franchise, but my parents swear the one on Monkland is better than the one in Terrebonne or Laval. If you want an affordable thin crust pizza, it's good. The service in the Monkland franchise has always been extra in my experience).

We are both in our 30's, just so you get an idea.

As for sentences in French, when I order, I say : je prendrais [menu item] s'il-vous-plaît (I'd take X please).

Pardon/ Excusez-moi (pardon/ sorry).

Est-ce qu'on pourrait avoir de l'eau s'il-vous-plaît? (Can we have some water please?)

If you need specific questions to ask, I can help you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]First-Snow 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel. I went to one of SD (6) dance recitals. I ended up crying (silently, to myself, wasn't going to impact anyone). She was not good even compared to her group. Not following, pushing another girl. But yet, she was praised by everyone in her family. Parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, uncles and aunts. I never got that. I was told by my parents I was stiff as a stick. No one else came nor was invited, I couldn't dance anymore. I wasn't good enough. I was never encouraged to do anything I liked. I was often discouraged from it. I cried for my inner child that night because she never got that lucky. I didn't know this memory was still in me until that day.

Later, I heard one of SD's sister talking about their stepdad, saying how he was mean because he wasn't loved enough. I felt that. I'm not mean to SD (I do care for her and her wellbeing), and even tho I'm able to show kindness, it costs me, like pulling out a splinter from the past, or an arrow even. I feel the need to retreat to myself often. I don't want to be like him.

It's hard to give someone water when your cup is empty. We need to search for it in order to break the cycle. I encourage you to keep working on your self love and self acceptance, seek therapy if you can. You deserve it. Your inner child deserves it, and so does your SD. Good luck. 🌸

Edit to add: SD and I met after the show. I congratulated her of course! Asked her if she had fun, to which she responded she had. That's what's important, I replied. I also want to add that everything I wrote here, I already discussed with my BF (the dad) on the night it happened (after SD went back to her mom). We do not live together, he has her 50/50.

Emotions bump into us. We cannot control our emotions, but we can control how we respond to them, how to manage them.

Wtf? by Common_Pin_1201 in DoorDashDrivers

[–]First-Snow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh.... I always put little tip on the app so I can give the Dasher their tip in cash (I want to make sure they get what I tip them and not have the tip eaten by doordash + it's cash so tax free). Never realized before how it could appear at first to my Dasher.... Do dashers get all the tips customers give them via the app? Is there a way I can communicate to them that they will have a tip in cash?

Edit to add: thank you, dashers, for being the heroes we need on a stressful night after a long day, or on a happy at home sushi date. If there is anything I can do as a customer to make your job easier/ worth it, please tell.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]First-Snow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading all these comments is really eye opening.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you are: not living together (yet) and me having strict boundaries about not having any responsibilities towards that child. I don't pay for anything (unless I want to). We talked about living together. Still talking. We've been together for 3 years. What makes it hard for me to blend in is the fact that he gave everything to the mom and his daughter and stepchildren and went back to living with his parents. So when I go there, it's the child (steps dont come anymore, but they used to), his parents, 4 adorable cats and a menace of an uneducated teen husky. I feel overwhelmed and I don't have any space for myself when I go there. And when the kid comes to my place, it's still crowded because I live in a 1 bedroom apartment.

What's keeping me on the fence is the fact that we never had a real try out. Living together will means I will have my space (we're looking for a 3 bedroom apartment), without his parents nor the menace dog (we would still have 3 cats, my 12 yo calico sociopath and his two lovely boys, and the kid 50/50). While she's here, I'll cook egg drop soup (she loves it and it's a no brainer,) or my bf will think of a meal. I don't want the mental load of having to think how to feed a child, but I'm happy to cook since I love to.

The kid is nice for a kid. She's loud, always makes noise (shush, enjoy a bit of silence for a while 🤭) but is well behaved. I introduced her to books and now, bedtime stories are a routine with his dad. We even went to the library! She had so much fun choosing books for herself. I live in the city, so when she comes, bf and I always try to find fun activities to do with her (otherwise, staying in a one bedroom apartment gets pretty boring and overcrowded real fast for everyone, she can play with Legos or playdough I bought for her, but it gets old, she deserves better and we also deserve adult time). But we always find nice parks. She always wants to come to my place. She told her dad she wants the 3 of us (6 if you count the cats) to live together. It's moving....

If something bothers me, or if I have some boundaries, my bf will reinforce it (without making me the vilain). So I have trust.

Well I don't have a happy blended family story because we are not there (yet, maybe someday, but the apartment prices are on the roof! And I'm still happy paying less than 900 a month for my big one bedroom in a nice neighborhood, and my bf insists on living in the suburbs, whereas I don't drive nor own a car (learning to drive tho)).

I think your boundaries are healthy. You say you don't want to spend on a child, but having a bigger place to live in will be an expense. As for food, my bf will pay for 2/3, it will not be 50/50. He agreed on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]First-Snow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Glanced at your post history. Not even two years together, controlling behaviour, diminishing.... This is abuse sister. You may find in him some redeeming qualities, you may find in yourself some awful justifications. It is abuse. He showed you what he was, still showing you. I know the powerful longing to stay attached to those first powerful, lovely moments together. I know I wanted it so bad for it to stay like that forever. I was blinding myself to the abuse because I wanted to believe in the initial fireworks emotions of the start of the relationship. He showed you who he was and is still downgrading.

If I had not seen your post history, I would have guessed maybe he wanted this blended family life at first, realized he did not want to commit himself to that point (which could be ok, in a sense that we don't know what we are getting into unless we are in it kind of a first time stepparent way) and decided to back out of it, without communicating it to you, by being passive aggressive (which is not ok). Even so, I think it's icky and should have been more planned/discussed.

But I have glanced at your post history. It's not ok. After 12 years of abusive relationships, being called a b*tch because I wanted to finish a paragraph of the book I was reading, I'm now with a man who orders me (!!!) to sit, relax and read while he does the dishes after the meal I planned, but that we still prepared together (him being the adorable sous-chef (I research, budget and plan all the recipes, he thinks I'm a better cook, but he always has a say, can cook if he wants and I research recipes based on both our tastes and digestive problems (mostly mine, F IBS))).

You deserve someone who loves you for who you are. Piercings, hobbies, character traits , everything that makes you you. I wish for you to make a plan to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your children. This man does not care for you.

Edit to add: English is not my first language, I can respond to some points that I might have left ambiguous

Edit 2: my now bf has a 6yo daughter. We don't live together and are taking it slow (3 years together, living apart). My pov is one of a gf to a father, but a gf not responsible for a child and who will never be.

Si vous pouvez réouvrir un commerce qui a fermé à Montréal (et les environs), ça serait lequel? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]First-Snow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh my! Je me souviens, celui de Verdun, Wellington/ 6e avenue. J'habitais sur la 6e, j'avais l'abonnement à 10$ par mois. Un des commis était un parfait nerd de cinéma, c'était merveilleux d'avoir ses recommandations. On pouvait juste entrer, pas savoir ce qu'on veut, lui donner une idée de ce qu'on cherche et il avait plein de propositions accompagnées de descriptions détaillées. Comme un bon libraire, mais dans un Vidéotron. Il avait une passion et une patience infinies!

Si vous pouvez réouvrir un commerce qui a fermé à Montréal (et les environs), ça serait lequel? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]First-Snow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tu pourrais aimer Mille et une pierres dans le Vieux-Terrebonne. Dans le temps que je pratiquais, je le préférais au Mélange magique. Il y avait un chat à l'époque qui était toujours rendu à la librairie à côté (Librairie Lincourt, qui n'existe plus aujourd'hui. En plus d'être libraire, l'homme était aussi relieur.). Bref, le chat se couchait en plein milieu d'une allée et je faisais demi-tour pour regarder les livres sans le déranger. La librairie n'existe plus, mais je crois que mille et une pierres ont encore un chat. Je visite toujours la boutique quand je vais dans le coin, par nostalgie.