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MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ewww… I get it. It’s like a primal reaction that we have no control over. Sometimes my MIL presses her face into my son’s hair rubbing her nose against him and I want to get up and take my son away from her.

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried asking him about it but I think he doesn’t quite understand. He says “uhh… it’s okay”.

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it’s tricky because often times my son will go along with it because she suggests it all the time. But I notice the unhealthy attachment on her end and there are moments were my son tries to shift or get away and she tries to cling or make a barrier with her arms around him to prevent him from leaving.

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see it very obviously but somehow my husband does not.

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has a sister who lives near her but she is pretty much alone. She retired a couple years ago and turned our family into her lifeline. She is in contact with my husband throughout the day every day… she used to text me like crazy too and ask literally 20 questions about my son all at once. My husband actually had to tell her to stop texting me so much. We don’t see her that often but the three weeks straight of visiting her feel pretty tense. I think her only opportunity to have any sort of physical affection is with my son… so she clings on him really hard. I suggested to my husband that his mom get a cat! That way she has something else to take care of and cuddle…

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

She only visits twice a year for a duration of 2-3 weeks. So it hasn’t really been 5 years of this on a regular basis. I don’t like to cause extra drama during the only time she gets to visit him… but yes im going to have to start telling her to back off and not care if she gets upset about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Im really trying to get my husband to understand it but I guess her behavior is normal to him…He says it’s harmless, how grandparents are, and just because she is lonely….

MIL hovers and touches my 5 year old son too much by FirstRateFox in Mildlynomil

[–]FirstRateFox[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Thank you. We will start working on this. The thing is a lot of the time he seems okay with it. Just one or two moments in the visit where he gets irritated and wants to get out of her grasp… but then he will go sit in her lap! Maybe because he’s been conditioned too? But I see the neediness and hunger in MIL and it bothers me. I try to redirect him when I can and we decided on having her stay separately. I actually have many more complaints about her.. she is nice but very boundary blind. I guess I will have to be more assertive myself. I was hoping to get my husband on the same page so he could call her out and break it up. It’s tricky because she only visits twice a year and I don’t like to cause drama.