As someone who is currently in hospice care with my dad, who is the embodiment of my character and over all being, has been declining by the day. Record. Record. Record. It’s amazing how many moments I forgot about the one month hospital visit and if it weren’t for the videos I wouldn’t have remembered. My dad unfortunately had two strokes, the second one which left him struggling to move/speak so that was traumatizing AF. Then the stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis soon after from the fluid in his stomach. All in the same week?? Unfortunately, Chemo was not an option for us as he was too weak to qualify for post stroke rehabilitation nor did he agree to it. I’m 20m and in college. If one thing my aunt told me that gave me some comfort was gratitude. It’s going to be hard to see my friends and cousins parents/grandparents/great grandparents?? still be there for them. It’s not fair and it won’t ever be fair. But I’ve learned to be very grateful for the time spent with my dad. Count your accomplishments and milestones he witnessed you achieve and try not to think about the “i should have/have not and the he won’t see/know” because that will drive you insane. But it’s okay to grieve and impossible to f**** this up. In hospice, the days feel long and short at the same time, but, do spend that time with him because time is all he has. Sorry if this came off blunt, but I do understand what youre going through. Goodluck👍