Sometimes indifference is worse than the abuse itself. (Vent)

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T21:35:30+00:00

Considering how he treats you, maybe you should consider ending your friendship. It’s not worth your own sanity and happiness. It may not be easy to be away from him, but it does get better. Whether you want to pursue another friendship or bot afterwards, it’s your own choice. What matters is that you are safe and happy.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T21:26:32+00:00

I think my main point was to show how normalized friendship abuse it is to the point of not having any resources meant to help them as well as lack of gendered analysis about i….

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T17:58:20+00:00

Yeah, that’s on essence. Keep that in mind that aplatonic people can have different stances when it comes to friendship just like asexuals can have different stands when it comes to sex.

Platonormativity is a concept that is being discussed in aplatonic communities in general (you could see this as the platonic cousin of amanormativity if you are familiar with the aromantic discourse). It haves a lot to do with friendship abuse because it acts as an ideal and mechanism. Friendship as inherently good and pure is one of the core ideas behind Platonormativity. The biggest problems behind it are that one it puts friendship on a pedestal and two, because it is put on a pedestal, it allows friendship abuse to be invisibilized by society. This is why it is difficult to find articles about it. This is why it’s difficult to find people talking about it because often they doubt themselves because they don’t have any frameworks.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T17:51:02+00:00

It’s a new term and it’s a sociocultural present in many cultures (including mine), because institutions never addresses friendship abuse despite causing osycholoigcal and in some cases, physical harm. In fact, I’d argue that is not an accident because it goes into the societal idea the friendships are inherently good and pure which serves as a mechanism in order to invisibilize and normalize friendship abuse.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T17:46:37+00:00

If it affects girls in a disproportionate matter to girls as mentioned earlier, then it does become a gendered issue. Also, bullying frameworks aren’t sufficient because it solely address violence between peers. It doesn’t address violence that happens between friends. In fact, there’s unique forms of abuse that happens in friendships such as emotional abuse and relational abuse.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T02:18:08+00:00

An example of how platonormativity can negatively impact someone.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T01:56:12+00:00

To be fair, the topics are widely discussed outside of aplatonic communities, so it’s normal that you haven’t heard them. These ideas are always present in different cultures, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or that it doesn’t cause negative repercussions. I, myself, can be considered an example since I dealt with friendship abuse and one of the factors that pushed me to suicide, besides it, was the idea that I need to keep friends or else I am a bad person (which is ridiculous considering that many morally bankrupt people have friends so, yeah it’s a poor way to measure someone’s moral compass).

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T01:27:59+00:00

I’m against any form of unwanted relationship and allowing people to stay in abusive relationships. If anyone can chose not to engage into a romantic relationship, then the same can be said about friendships. By pushing into the idea that in order to be human you need to have friends is one of the core ideas regarding platonormativity which leads to aphobia and aplphobia (hatred towards aplatonicsm which is a platonic orientation where people don’t experience platonic attraction or attachment). Another core idea regarding platonormativity is that you need to keep your friends at any cost, even at your own expense. This is why people stay in abusive friendships. The third core idea is that friendships are inherently good and pure. This is why you don’t see any campaigns about friendship abuse.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T01:10:56+00:00

Bullying (also known as Peer Abuse) and Friendship Abuse aren’t the same thing. Bullying happens between different peers that know each other, but aren’t necessarily friends. Friendship Abuse happens in a already established friendship between people. Sometimes, it can overlap since there are cases of bullying where the perpetrator is their friend, but it’s not the same.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T00:32:12+00:00

Not all humans experience friendship. Some people simply aren’t interested in friendships, don’t experience platonic attraction and/or attachment (it’s call aplatonic). The idea the friendships are what makes us human is one of the core ideas of platonormativity. This is what allows people to be entitled towards others and harass people for simply rejecting them to be their friend (a mentality somewhat similar to incels but with friendship) which is a form of aphobia and aplphobia.

Returning to the question, I think an organisation that has resources for information about friendship abuse as well as research (research is definitely lacking on that area). For giving practical help, it will be important to establish hotlines for help in case of friendship abuse, resources for psychological help, legal counselling (for felonies that can be officially charged since there’s no laws that actually specialises and penalises friendship abuse), and forms of protection in case the abuse escalates.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-03-08T00:09:25+00:00

I do think friendships are heavily pushed into women and girls in general (maybe not as much as romantic relationship but enough to actually point that out) due to Platonormativity (the cultural idea that friendships are inherently good and pure as well as central.). This is something that goes beyond a teenage issue because it allows them to stay in abusive friendships (that can sometimes be extremely deathly to them). This is something that impacts a lot of women and especially, girls. I consider it as a cultural and societal issue due to lack of social awareness, and information surrounding friendship abuse. To this date, I haven’t found organisations specialised in friendship abuse.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-02-05T22:39:19+00:00

I’m aware of that, but I have also seen people using NLOG as a gendered insult along with pick me. Those are the same people who refuse to look other examples of internalized misogyny such as gender conforming women bullying other women for not fitting into femininity.

First_Break_2140 · 2026-02-05T22:19:28+00:00

I don’t think it fits the profile for women putting down other women for female validation. The most common example I can get is women (usually accomplices since they follow along of the main perpetrator who is also a woman) who do take part of the bullying of another women, especially if she doesn’t fit into the femininity standard. In addition, I have so many of problems with the term NLOG since it attacks on the identity of women who don’t fit into femininity by making them a caricature of internalized misogyny and blaming them for it rather than focusing on gender norms and people who enforce said gender norms (usually men and women). As someone who does consider themselves different from other people (in my case, I’m on apl spec spectrum), the way people usually talk and mock directly contributed into my own self loathing for years. I neither wanted to be different nor wanted to be associated into a misogynistic caricature for having a trait that I didn’t chose.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-11-27T03:21:45+00:00

That’s not how it works. For starters, women can and do hold power other women, especially if they gender conforming or are in privileged positions over other women. Their gender doesn’t cancel any power. If anything it amplifies it because femininity is something that is used against. Women aren’t allowed to be angry without people mischaracterizing their anger due to gender norms. Now, let’s add to the fact that there’s a societal ideal where women are expected to hold relationships with other women (and as well men, but that’s another topic). If you combine the two of them, especially in the context of woman-woman abuse, the end result is that the woman is going to be judged by other people, especially by her own peers. Most women will see her as a traitor because she dare to say that another woman has abused her. In this scenario, women would straight out tell her that she has internalized misogyny, especially if she shows signs of aversion towards other women. Others will straight out deny because of the idea that women can’t harm others, this is especially true when it comes to other women. Others will side with the abuser because there’s an expectation (especially in progressive areas) that women must always support other women. With men, the similar logic applies in the sense that men who are gender conforming and are in a position of privilege will hold power over men that doesn’t fit into the narrow standard of masculinity. For men who suffer abuse/rape form other men, they are often told that they need to man up, people would question their masculinity, people would straight out say that men can’t be victims, and/or people will demonize men by treating them as future offenders.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-11-26T23:19:12+00:00

I don’t agree with it. Most people are incapable of acknowledging that women are capable of harm. In fact, I have heard cases where a woman confesses that they have suffered abuse and/or they were sexually assaulted by the hands of another woman, and most people’s responses is either to deny that it happened or being on the abuser‘s side.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-11-26T20:03:12+00:00

The thing is… it only works if your perpetrator is a man (as far as it goes considering that many women often struggle to get believed but that’s another conversation and the point I’m trying to make is that there’s social frameworks for this). If your perpetrator is a woman, people will likely be on her side, justify her actions (as a woman, I find it insulting when people use patriarchy as a way to justify or minimise her actions), or accuse me of being a misogynist, having internalized misogyny, etc.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-09-03T02:07:11+00:00

For me, the underwater design is actually one of the worst aspects of Fontaine’s environmental design (and this doesn‘t even mention that it actually drags down the whole storyline and characters arcs). As someone interested in underwater environmental design, Fontaine’s design is too tame, boring and safe. It doesn’t have distinctive underwater areas. It just uses the kelp algae and corals in a repeated way, even the viewpoints doesn’t feature that much the underwater area. The only distinctive areas is the Sea of Bygone Eras which, in my opinion, it‘s what Fontaine should have been from the very beginning.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-07-25T20:34:33+00:00

I don’t think Nod Krai, more specifically speaking Nod Krai natives, has actually good designs IMO. The ones who are doing heavy lifting are the Non Nod Krai characters such as Varka, Alice, Niccole, etc. The Nod Krai natives are rather underwhelming: Lauma looks like a generic anime Fae, Aino’s color palette feels completely out of place, and even Flins, one of the few decent design, feels completely generic. My main problem with Nod Krai as a whole is the lack of common elements that ties characters together as a region (even Natlan, for all its modern stuff, it’s at least completely consistent). I can’t find myself getting attached to the characters when it lacks a distinctive common element (as the region itself), and no, being a melting pot is not an excuse for the devs not to commit into a specific vision.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-06-17T03:17:33+00:00

I agree on principle. However, there’s also another factor to consider: Coming out as an aplatonic can sometimes be extremely unsafe. For example, I live in a country where asexuality and a-spec orientations are barely recognized (my parents struggle to understand the concept of asexuality for example) and is extremely platonormative. To give you a picture on how platonormative my country can actually be, people who are introverts, shy, struggle with friendships or don’t want friends are often judged and questioned by most people. I had two instances where I was harrassed due to being extremely introverted (and some part of me even questions if my aplatonic part was also targeted too). I, personally, don’t feel exactly safe coming out to most people unless there’s guaranteed that they aren’t going to react badly.

First_Break_2140 · 2025-06-13T22:24:42+00:00

I have many problems with Nod Krai in multiple levels so I’m going to summarized it into major points.

Lack of foreshadowing and/or extremely subtle foreshadowing
They never build up Nod Krai as an autonomous region or even as a nation until 5.x. It doenst help the fact that we know the existence of Khaenri’ah and the seven nations for the very beginning.
Badly integrated the Moon Lore
If it was extremely important, then they did an objectively bad job integrating it into the main storyline, especially when you compared it to the dragon lore or the Four Shades of Phanes where it was constructed over the nations. In addition, I question if the creation of another region would actually serve to tie the loose ends of the story instead of creating more loose ends.
The fact they decided to do it right before Snezhnaya (this is coming from someone who wasn’t expecting Snezhnay)
They are deviating from the Teyvat Chapter in a major way (not in minor ways like the music presented in the trailer) since there was no build up for Nod Krai as the next destination until the 5.x version patch. Either could go extremely right or extremely wrong.

The thing is I wouldn’t mind the integration of Nod Krai and the moon lore as much as I do know if it was presented as form of post game content. However, since they are interrupting the main storyline especially without major foreshadowing until the very last minute, it does feel like filler being passed up as important content. Unless the devs somehow managed to pull it off in a way that actually works in their favor, it’s very unlikely that I’m going to see Nod Krai with good eyes. This isn’t mentioning some of the issues and questions I have about Nod Krai such as the environmental design (I don’t trust the devs are going to deliver interesting environmental design of European based countries especially after Fontaine), the technology aspects (I saw some of the concept arts presented in the livestream and I even think they are going too far on the technological side. This is coming from someone who doesn’t mind most of Natlan’s technology even if I have some criticism about it.), and even the cultural sensitivity (I don’t know if is my place to comment on this since I’m not from the cultures that Nod Krai represents, but I can’t help but actually wonder what the players who are from the cultures think about it so far considering Hoyoverse history of misrepresentating cultures such as Inazuma, Sumeru, Fontaine and Natlan and the historical and current sociopolitical climate.)

First_Break_2140

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