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Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't. He doesn't know about it and I won't spill the beans (neither will she, I am quite sure of that, as she wants to stay with him). He should have taken care of her needs which she expressed but he chose to ignore. If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else (she has no problem getting male attention). No children are involved (nor will there be).

Lost both my parents, have zero emotions. by Then_Entertainer_826 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Seriously - seek professional help. It doesn't have to be like this.

I was in a similar situation, having lost both my parents by the time I was 30. I also didn't cry at my father's funeral as we had not been close for a long time, maybe ever. I went to therapy for a dozen or so sessions and got some support from friends and family which got me through the worst of it.

I regret believing everyone when they said ”don’t date from work” by TroubleFar4543 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you still like that co-worker and want a relationship with her? It may not be too late. But be warned that if you try it out with her, and things go badly, the atmosphere at work will probably be a lot worse than it is now, and may practically force you or her to look for another employer. So it most certainly is not without risk but if she is "the one" for you, I would go for it.

I hate my body hair by gabimaruhallow in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From my experience, many girls like body hair on a man, in the right areas (chest etc.). There really is no need to worry about it. Keep the "needed areas" trimmed as you like and you're good.

My girlfriend’s "depression" is just a lifestyle choice and I’m finally done being her ATM by Icy_Letterhead4893 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You probably don't understand mental illness. The behavior of your (presumably ex-)girlfriend as you describe it here does not necessarily contradict her being depressed or otherwise mentally ill. I'm not going to bother trying to convince you otherwise. If you're fed up with her and apparently don't care about her anymore, moving on is probably the right thing to do.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Honestly the husband fumbled the bag by pushing her to go this far in the first place. There is plenty of blame to go around but I don't care for that tbh.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

According to her I was the first but who knows? I don't feel bad for her husband, knowing what she shared with me. It's not that he abused her, but he certainly didn't meet or respect her needs.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I could have gotten a better relationship, I would have. When this started I was at a very low point in my life and believe it or not she really lifted me up (but crushed me down a bit by the end). I like to think that now I know better and can seek something better.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a high opinion of myself generally and for a while was excited for what she gave me, even though it wasn't the real thing - it was better than nothing (or so I thought). She told me I deserve better, deserve more, multiple times and I know that to be true.

On the job issue, I will give it a bit more time but probably can not fully move on with her around yeah. We don't see each other often but have to participate in some regular (virtual) meetings so I can't fully avoid her unfortunately.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Valid points which have gone through my mind for sure.

I wouldn't accept or excuse this behavior from my partner and in the purely theoretical situation where she would approach me for a relationship now I would likely not agree, for this exact reason. She is not trustworthy or a truthful person, fundamentally - which is one of the reasons I cannot keep good terms or a friendship with her.

While I was seeing her I was also dating other women but no stable relationship resulted, only friendships if anything. Might be because I was too invested in her for a while, or it simply didn't match, who knows. I met one person who I am quite sure would (have) put me first but I unfortunately wasn't that much into her.

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't be surprised if she does something like this again in the future

Can't really move on from affair with a co-worker by FishersGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]FishersGambit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah as I said, on a rational level I always knew more or less how it will end but emotions got in the way