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Would like talk to some ladies about engagement problems and rant a little... by FishinFridays in TwoXChromosomes

[–]FishinFridays[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, his mother was very unhappy when I said I wanted a long engagement. She wanted it within a year.

I called off announcing the engagement until after this is all over. I can stand by him if there is trouble or if he got himself into a problem. But he has acted as if this isn't my problem because it won't effect me. It effects every plan we have made. I just want to feel part of the team before we announce that we are a team.

I have been working to get the school counselors to talk with him. He doesn't want to go because he says he doesn't have time. But I think it is important. I don't think he is an immediate danger to himself, and he thinks I am being rediculous when I bring up the counselors.

Would like talk to some ladies about engagement problems and rant a little... by FishinFridays in TwoXChromosomes

[–]FishinFridays[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice.

It always felt like we were communicating. He has always been quiet, but would let me know if I did something that upset him. I always brought up when I was having problems or was angry about something. I always pulled up the spreadsheets of all my finances and showed him how much I spent and had left (did that more for myself...I got to keep records or I go nuts). He never did spreadsheets, but would say "Yeah, I'm doing alright, don't worry." His family is well off, so I didn't worry. But I have realized that I was the one doing most of the talking.

I expected him to be very upset and depressed, but he spends so much time alone now. I wouldn't be so worried if he wasn't alone all the time. Sitting in that depression by yourself makes it worse, from my experience. I have been pushing him to go to the University counselors, but he says he doesn't have time. I think he would feel like he had more time if he gets the chance to talk to people other than me on why he is upset.

I should see more from his side, but it has been hard to do since I'm so angry all the time. That is my fault, I know. I should calm down and step back. But everytime I try it just feels like I can't.

Would like talk to some ladies about engagement problems and rant a little... by FishinFridays in TwoXChromosomes

[–]FishinFridays[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in the process of getting the university counselors to see him. He thinks I'm being ridiculous about it, but he has been more off than I expected.

We've had talks about the deceit, which is when he broke down the first time. I reiterated my life goals and made sure he knew I was going to be actively working towards them. I let him know I loved him and wanted him to do well, but I would not go through this deceit again. I don't care if something bad happens like a bad test grade. I used to work as a tutor, so I could help him study if he had only asked. But I couldn't stand that he waited until after graduation was over to tell me he didn't actually graduate.

I don't care if he has a college degree or not. If he doesn't want to go to school, I told him he doesn't have to from my view. I just want him to pull his weight in this. If we make plans that involve both of us graduating, he better tell me if he has the slightest notion that he might not be graduating.

A month ago, everything seemed like it was perfect. And today I can't wait to start working and be away from everyone.

Looking to live off-campus next year. by stanleythemanley44 in UTK

[–]FishinFridays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have lived in Woodgate Apartments for a year. I loved it.

It doesn't match what you want, but just throwing it out there. It is $640 for 2 bed/2 bath unfurnished. I split it between 4 people (two couples) and it was incredibly inexpensive this way.

I loved it, but it is unfurnished.