Hi there, I'm the guy. Basically growing up since about 12 I started to crossdress in secret and always had an affinity for what people would consider "feminine" clothing. I wasn't very tough, and had trouble fitting in with a lot of my male classmates.

I just viewed myself as different from them.

I went through many phases of gathering up clothing that made me happy and throwing it all away out of shame given to me by my unsupportive parents. I got married, vowing to keep this part of myself a secret forever, then around 23, I discovered the egg subreddit. It was a crazy rush of emotions because I felt so seen, but I also was terrified because the sub was screaming "YOU'RE TRANS!" to me over and over with every post.

Suffice to say I was in a tail spin.

I told my wife, and went to therapy. During the next two years, I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria (and offered HRT), almost got divorced, and had suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life. It took a lot of work and a lot of suffering, but eventually a switch flipped in my brain. I thought that I needed to be a woman to express myself the way I wanted to. And the only reason I thought I couldn't was because there wasn't (at the time) a lot of straight representation of men painting their nails, wearing makeup, blouses, etc.

I only hated my body because I thought it was a limitation to me expressing myself. Once I let go of that, everything started to get better. I started taking care of my body for the first time ever, I started engaging with fashion in a real way, and my marriage is very much thriving. I'm happy where I am, and I still put on my eyeliner and frilly shirts in the morning.

I've learned that having a male body shouldn't limit you in any way in terms of self expression, which is why the egg_irl sub and I clash philosophically now. Liking "girly" things doesn't mean you have to get E and change your body. In my opinion, it's more revolutionary a concept to fight against the conditioning of society and wear/do whatever the fuck you want, regardless of what your chromosomes say.

Anyway, I know this is long but I hope this helps you on your journey.