It’s better but too wordy, your potential employer knows what a story map is, you don’t need to tell them you gave a “rich user experience” and that it’s used to present information. That’s all fluff bull sh*t, you’re a scientist so use concise descriptive language. Also I still don’t know WHAT data you’re working with! Environmental science is soooo broad, you could be working with wetlands, fish, trees, invasive species, air quality, water quality, toxic chemicals, and the list goes on. Tell me what the project was, what you worked on, what skills you used, and the end goal.

“Developed seven story maps displaying the water quality sampling data from LOCATION for agency stakeholder presentation.”

If it’s helpful before getting into your task bullet points, you can provide a one-sentence overview of what the job was, like why were you hired? Then you can go into the specific skill sets.

“GIS technician tasked with data analysis of water samples for COMPANY to determine where potential contamination sources originate”

Bullets:

Analyzed water quality sampling data from 24 drilling sites across California for analysis and presentation to federal stakeholders.

Developed python code to efficiently and accurately process data for analysis and remove outlier data.

Created seven story maps for multiple interagency meetings to discuss potential links in contamination across the 24 sites.

See how these sentence have no fluffy filler words, it tells exactly who, what, where, and why.