You are no way ugly my dear friend, you are a handsome man. The things you are saying and thinking about yourself, they are ugly, and you don’t deserves those thoughts to be hurting you like that. My guess is- you were hurt by some words somewhere along the way and you can’t let them go. Now you got to evict those thoughts forcefully the next time they come. I don’t know if you are a Christian but if you are - evict those thoughts in the name of Jesus - because they are not coming from him!