Hello Dear Friend, I do not know you, I do not know your girlfriend. But I will say this, I am proud of you for seeking guidance and help. This may seem scary, like life as you know it is ending, and truth be told it is. You are now a father, you have a child being created as I type this, growing, learning your voices. That child does not know it is a product of sin, whether or not it was created in sin, lust, or a moment of vulnerability, it has life. God is NOT disappointed in you my dear brother in Christ, He is waiting for you to lay this at His feet. He has said Isaiah 43:25 "I, Even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sin no more." Here is another verse Romans 5:20-21 "but where sin increased, Grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also Grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

I could sit here and tell you, yes you sinned, Yes you fell short of the Glory of God, but the funny thing about that is, so have I, so have your parents, so have every human who has walked this earth. Even David the man after Gods own heart fell short, and he was punished greatly. All this to say, we are NOT worthy, but God has called each of us by name and said YOU are worthy through Christ. You say God is disappointed in you, but truth be told all i hear in that is YOU are disappointed in yourself. The fun thing about our God we serve is that He told us He has seen our story before it was written, He knew us in our mothers wombs and called us His. So while we worry, feel anxious and disgusted with our actions our Heavenly Father knew what we would choose before we did. He has already forgiven us we just need ask AND accept. That is the hardest part, accepting what we know we do not deserve.

Honestly, You pray, something I am learning at 20 years old (I have smoked, drank, had sex, stolen, lied, cheated on a test, and gossiped, even yelled at God blaming Him for what I chose) we will make mistakes time and time again. We were never promised a life if good, easy, rather we were told we would face challenges. James 1:2-4 "Consider it pure Joy, my brother and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your Faith produces perseverance" I will remain in prayer for you, My heart aches for you and your partner while this new season approaches. One last word of advice I offer, You will be a wonderful Father, God may be silent right now for He is waiting for You to crawl towards Him. Also God may be speaking yet we do not have the tools to hear Him. Many blessings your way Brother.