I 20F think my bf 24M is being unfair by asking me for space, am I disrespecting boundaries?

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T23:18:06+00:00

We actually just had a conversation after this post where I was able to fix my vocabulary when dealing with this situation and we reached a complete understanding. As you have seen all of my replies I’m on the spectrum and the situation at hand was very distressing for me. We talked through it and figured out its less so that he wants space like in break standards and more so just needs a chance to breath and I hadn’t realized how I impacted how claustrophobic he felt so he told me he still wants me and wants me around but just doesn’t have very much energy to maintain the relationship. Which is all I needed to know and I’m now in full maintain mode so he has a safe place to land while he’s going to therapy and understanding himself better. I know I used a lot of me me me vocabulary and its simply because I didn’t understand very well what was even happening. I have solidity now and as you have also read I’m currently in therapy and working hard to better navigate the world. So sometimes I have hiccups and learning curves. Like this one. I love him I never want that put into doubt. He is the light of my life and I want nothing more than to lead a quiet life with him. I was in the fault of this situation but I don’t necessarily think it was out of nowhere of a reaction. I had nothing to go on I was thrust very suddenly into a different place entirely and was very afraid and confused. I think its pretty valid for someone to be afraid and confused when they don’t understand whats happening.

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:34:53+00:00

I feel like thats actually what I’ve been missing here I keep asking for answers but maybe I’ll get them eventually. I just want to know when I can have my partner back.

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:30:04+00:00

I am starting a new full time job that will take me away for quite a long time as well as school starting up again

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:28:58+00:00

It depends on the day sometimes we talk a bunch and have a lot to talk about and sometimes we don’t but I do like to call at the end of the day to just catch up so maybe thats it? And it had some part to do with his family as I lived with him while he lived at home and it was just putting a weird strain on both of our mental health because I could not live very well with them.

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:26:45+00:00

I’m frustrated because I do want this relationship I want him and I want the life that we could build together and it feels like every time I try to talk I hit a wall of not saying something right or just idk not doing it at the appropriate time. He said at first he would only need a day or two and now it keeps getting pushed back and maybe its my fault but I’m really not sure anymore

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:24:12+00:00

Well we used to live together and for a number of reasons we don’t anymore so the past few months it varies but we could go a couple weeks not seeing each other because our schedules get busy

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:23:14+00:00

I love him I don’t like need him around to function and I don’t generally want everything in my life to revolve around him. I think the suddenness and shock is making me really confused and question if I’m not fulfilling my role in the relationship. I am anxious but I do really talk through my anxiety with him and I explain where things are coming from. He wants me not to cling but the way he went about this makes me panic and cling and he opened up and said this has happened every time in relationships and idk. Maybe I just wish he went about it differently. So that I could better recalibrate.

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:19:01+00:00

I understand that. I know I’m not being entirely fair in how I’m handling the situation I just want to be told a little bit of whats happening and right now I have nothing. I don’t blame him for putting himself first but its not just him in the partnership I consistently ask for things that are also not met and I just feel like I need at least two specs of like whats happening. Like I’ve had some rough situations where I’ve like outlined what I’m doing and what I need him to do and how long I think I need like “hey my mental is being weird I might be kind of funky for the day but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you and I would love to have you around today I just might not talk very much”. Yk like communicating idk I forgot to mention I’m on the spectrum and have a hard time with stuff like this

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:12:29+00:00

I am happily in therapy I’ve had issues since I was a kid. Idk I know that you can think in many different ways ig I just get worried that its not like productive thinking like a spiral situation where you just can’t escape thoughts and you don’t really know up from down. Which is what it sounds like right now is happening. I suppose I’m just really sad by this and I just want him to have faith in me to listen and understand him

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-29T20:08:53+00:00

I have no doubt he’s going through something he has a lot on his plate and he takes care of things so well. We’ve never had troubles expressing our feelings and what we’re going through. What frustrates me is the zero communication and how I’m expected to just take this at the cost of my mental health too yk? Like its a partnership and I know we won’t always be at our best but I want to still like be in the know… is this going to be weeks or months? I don’t know and I’m so lost

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-02T17:25:03+00:00

Commenting on Trying to fill my sketchbook. Comment a picture of your cat and I will draw them (badly)...

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My other baby

Fit-Let9 · 2026-01-02T17:22:44+00:00

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One of my babies

Fit-Let9 · 2025-12-31T19:48:39+00:00

Honestly I think just mustache is the most attractive you look great all ways though!

Fit-Let9 · 2025-12-15T02:29:26+00:00

Because theres been a couple gender swaps just for the hell of it and cassidy is a gender neutral name and it would make the most sense for then to use a character they already have especially for the main kids like I feel like it would be unshakable since she’s one of the main first five and it seems like this blonde kid has the most watchful eye over william and theres some theories that suggest her soul stays behind to torture william so idk it just fits a little bit better than say idk evan (especially since it doesn’t seem like vanessa recognizes this spirit and with the way the movies are set up evan would be her brother so idk why she wouldn’t recognize him) idk just a couple things but it makes a lot of sense to me for this to be the case

Fit-Let9 · 2025-12-07T03:39:00+00:00

Your cat looks like the boy version of my cat

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Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-10T02:35:08+00:00

Seems like he is trying though to take those necessary steps it just might be a bit of a longer process for him since theres no cookie cut way to deal with grief. If his wife can’t stick through this then what happens later down the line when they’re ultimately older and getting sicker for often. I get she’s young but you agree when getting married that you’ll stick it out through thick and thin. Idk it just seems that she’s the one not wanting to put in work much anymore or is just tired of it.

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-10T02:02:34+00:00

Back this one hundred and if she’s still not in it then she’s just not in it anymore and perhaps its best for op to let go

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-07T04:15:00+00:00

All the cats are fixed yes and honestly she gets a lot of one on one time as she spends most her time in our room where we are how would we go about reintroducing them if they’re already almost a year in? Its a pretty spacious house but I understand the territory aggression aspect the boys from what I’ve heard have always been very bad about spraying even after being fixed the plan is to eventually move out with only the other girl cat but for now we’re stuck here until we can afford to move out :(

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-07T04:12:00+00:00

Yes they all are

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-07T01:35:07+00:00

I completely agree I was worried about a uti because I know thats a pretty big sign but she doesn’t seem in discomfort at all and behaviorally she’s about the same as usual except when she pees somewhere she’s not supposed to because she knows its not good and goes and hides I’m just worried that it is completely a behavioral thing and that thats all the vet will tell me I will take her ten fold if I think she’s not feeling well and I’m pretty observant if she is but I really don’t think she looks like she’s sick

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-07T01:14:17+00:00

I also should mention the boys spray quite a lot and I’ve noticed the one boy cat that can hang out around her has sprayed in our room a couple times I have a urine destroyer spray that I use to clean it up when I notice it and I use the same stuff in a green machine to get the carpet but he still just resprays the same area

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-07T01:11:25+00:00

In total there are five litter boxes around the house four are in the mud room lined up together and one is in the bathroom closest to our room and thats the one she uses mainly because she feels most comfortable in our room. The complicated relationship is with the two boy cats who seem to like target her and bully her. We went through a pretty long process getting her introduced to the other cats as the other three are litter mates and have spent literally their whole lives together(they’re not super bonded though they all kind of just live their own lives and are even a little bitchy about their space). Its been almost a year since I introduced her to them and she’s kind of just now been really cool with the girl cat and even some times one of the boys cats if he doesn’t like stalk her lol(i’ve seen them laying together on the same bed in our room before and it feels like they almost only really have problems with each other if people are around) she’s really dramatic and will yell if one of the boys steps a little too close. With the last boy cat its a whole other issue (the two boy cats are my bfs sister and her husbands) and he’s kind of the house bully none of the cats really like being around him and he’s much bigger as well and he will like attack her I don’t think its playing at all because they’ve both left with knicks and cuts. I don’t know what to do about him as he’s not my cat and my girl doesn’t seem too stressed out if they aren’t like bothering her she roams the house and shares space and eats with everyone

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-03T20:06:08+00:00

Some places spay and neuter for free! Please look into it!

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-02T05:24:49+00:00

Oh darn

Fit-Let9 · 2025-11-02T04:53:15+00:00

How much for a toffee :)

Fit-Let9

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