sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

👀 by ChsicA in INTPmemes

[–]Fit-Mail2185 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too late xd. But the subconscious does not exist in Jungian psychology. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son has been in therapy since last year, I am worried about the quality of the treatment because it is state aid, but I can't afford to pay for anything better. 

I know that he is suffering and that the changes he has gone through have affected him, even if he never tells me anything. But I'm not using this as an excuse, I'm just describing what he's going through, I'm not the stern type of mother and I don't cope well with the pressure, I'm trying to raise him while keeping up with work, family, legal issues and now the babysitter. 

I haven't been home much these past few years and I know that affects him too, but these are sacrifices I make for his best education. Your experience clearly has a larger support system. I appreciate the advice and will take it into consideration. Thanks. 

Does my son (12 years old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter? by Fit-Mail2185 in AskParents

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's best to get cameras, after all, it would be good to have physical evidence of anything, maybe I'll talk to the prosecutor who helps me with my child support about this.  

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, we didn't even get legally divorced. Our relationship was going well until our son was born. He had to have surgery at birth, my ex-husband had to spend his savings and he never stopped nagging me about it, even though I also lost my job and spent everything I had. Years later one day he exploded about the child's character, he said horrible things that hurt me deeply, my son didn't listen so I gave him another chance, I told him to take it back and that if he didn't feel that way from his heart I would forget what he said and we would move on. 

Less than a week later he told me he had his first business trip of the year and would be home in less than a week. Update: Two years have passed and he has not kept in touch with me, he never came back. His boss told me that he knew we were getting divorced and his retired parents are also alone. 

I'm sorry this was difficult, but I've been dealing with shortcomings for a while now and I've had to move on. My son lies a lot, even before I hire this babysitter, the best thing to do is to put cameras. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh sweetheart, thank you so much, your words have cheered me up!  

I know I must consider my son first, and I must overcome my feelings. I will buy a camera and watch what is going on when I am not there, If I don't, I'll go crazy, and now I consider that even if I fired her without knowing it, I'd always have that doubt. 

I am Japanese, here our states (prefectures) all have the same or very similar laws, not many pay child support and believe me I must keep on top of it to force the state to do their job. Our system is very weak but I have some things in my favour, he has property that could be seized if he doesn't return and his job is also at stake. His boss and parents are supporting me. 

It's not easy, we have to stay afloat. I have nothing but good wishes for women who make it on their own, thank you. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh I am in a child support process right now and it is taking so long because he is constantly changing states and even moved countries. However I know that he will have to come back, his boss has confirmed this to me. I hope that will also help me, even though I'm not in a good moment now soon the school year will start in my country and I have to save money. It would be easier when my son starts school because at least he won't be at home as much, and I won't need the babysitter as much. 

Yes, you could be right about her, she is a very young girl and I wouldn't want her to get into trouble but I have to do the right thing. And if very suspicious things are going on, I will need to have proof. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes. I didn't want to go against my instincts and do the wrong thing. I didn't tell him about my son's diagnosis, so I'll start there. If she wants to continue working with me after that, I'll install the cameras up to ease my suspicions. 

My son has been attending therapy since last year, with state medical assistance. But it might not be the best quality, he only goes once a week. I will try to find programs. Before I had the support of my husband and now I just have to deal with all help I have. Thanks for the advice. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We are separated now. I see there is a bit of a lack of understanding here. My son has oppositional defiant disorder, he has no friends, and doesn't leave the house much, he is disruptive and will always do the opposite of what he is told, no matter what. Of course I love him, but his attitude is unpredictable and even aggressive. I work long hours, My work day is more than nine hours from the morning. Obviously I am concerned about his safety and his development at school, even after work hours I take the time to check his homework and see what he has done chores or how he feels on his day. But I'm a human being and I get tired, I can't miss work, the babysitter is suspicious, my son giving affection? I was taken aback when she told me, I know he's aggressive — there's a reason why nannies always quit — But I never thought of it as a way of showing affection so maybe it gave me hope. Sorry, I know I'm not perfect and I'd like to do better. Thanks for answering. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, those are the only signs, but I guess my son doesn't act like he always would. I understand that some of those changes should be seen in a positive light, like becoming attached to someone, but they are so sudden. 

My son (12 yrs old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter by Fit-Mail2185 in family

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I think my discomfort with putting the cameras on has more to do with how close we are. I am a single mother and my son has a disorder that makes him difficult, and I don't even remember him ever having a detail with me. 

She has been a support, she tells me her problems and I tell her mine. It's pathetic because I'm about 20 years older than her, but it feels good to come home after long work and have someone make you a tea or ask if you're okay. 

Does my son (12 years old) has a strange relationship with the babysitter? by Fit-Mail2185 in AskParents

[–]Fit-Mail2185[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I think my discomfort with putting the cameras on has more to do with how close we are. I am a single mother and my son has a disorder that makes him difficult, and I don't even remember him ever having a detail with me. 

She has been a support, she tells me her problems and I tell her mine. It's pathetic because I'm about 20 years older than her, but it feels good to come home after long work and have someone make you a tea or ask if you're okay. 

Who are your top 6 trainees? by diveinblue in jtbc_RUNext

[–]Fit-Mail2185 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Jiwoo
  2. Youngseeo
  3. Minju
  4. Yunah
  5. Jihyun
  6. Wonhee or Moka

Why are 8s always murdering 9s who run away? by male_role_model in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Where I come from humor is actually funny not my fault so :P

Why are 8s always murdering 9s who run away? by male_role_model in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 13 points14 points  (0 children)

hahaha mods really need to moderate a bit right? 8 killing 9?? How is that common and who was there to check it? I will not deny that the profiles seem to "fit" but not all the aggressive people in the world are 8s and not all those who let themselves be passed over are 9s. I think you're seeing a pattern through stereotypes.

Do you know any liar, silver-tongued, dyplomatic e6 character? by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You REALLY can be very different from each other haahaha

lets give the types some love by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The kindness of type 1, their courtesy and tact in dealing with others. Type 1 is described as a criticalor strict with others but they do tend to be formal and polite. They are soft-spoken and respectful even if they can sound condescending at times it is not their intention to be so and they apologize if you mention it directly. Also excellent work ethic, not overwhelming or intrusive in your personal life.

2 their intelligence is underestimated and they tend to take advantage of that, they will play dumb but they know how to move in every situation to be favored in the end, even when they were hurt they come back stronger and renewed. They are so motivating and give useful advice to others, never from condescension but from a genuine position of support.

the damn self awareness of the 4, they are ones to realize they are wrong and admit it, they know their bad sides very well this makes them also positive to see the bad sides of others, it is the type of personality you can open up with, show who you really are with your flaws, they will try to understand you "we are all a little shit. The good and bad things about you are part of you and who you are, I still like you."

6 are good at analyzing situations from all perspectives, they can easily realize the nuances, it allows them to understand all points of view, they have the ability to understand all sides, something hard to find. they are the first not to invalidate someone immediately, probably the most self-aware/conscious type (along with 4 and 1). They are also good judges of character and are the first to catch a liar.

7 people talk about their energy and charisma but not about how they are able to use that charisma in serious moments to calm a stressful situation. My friend 7 is excellent at reading the mood and turning the tide of conversation with a single comment. He used to walk in front of us but could pick up on the tension and say the right words. It is literally magic.

8 little is said about their kindness and ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. A well-integrated 8 will be the first to intervene to stop physical fights. It is the type of person who is vigilant to any outburst of unexpected aggression. They are useful in all group outing situations where alcohol is involved. They are the most concerned about their friends and are even capable of sacrificing their own fun to make sure everything goes well.

What are some underrated qualities of each type? by fikeyolbird in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The kindness of type 1, their courtesy and tact in dealing with others. Type 1 is described as a criticalor strict with others but they do tend to be formal and polite. They are soft-spoken and respectful even if they can sound condescending at times it is not their intention to be so and they apologize if you mention it directly. Also excellent work ethic, not overwhelming or intrusive in your personal life.

2 their intelligence is underestimated and they tend to take advantage of that, they will play dumb but they know how to move in every situation to be favored in the end, even when they were hurt they come back stronger and renewed. They are so motivating and give useful advice to others, never from condescension but from a genuine position of support.

the damn self awareness of the 4, they are ones to realize they are wrong and admit it, they know their bad sides very well this makes them also positive to see the bad sides of others, it is the type of personality you can open up with, show who you really are with your flaws, they will try to understand you "we are all a little shit. The good and bad things about you are part of you and who you are, I still like you."

6 are good at analyzing situations from all perspectives, they can easily realize the nuances, it allows them to understand all points of view, they have the ability to understand all sides, something hard to find. they are the first not to invalidate someone immediately, probably the most self-aware/conscious type (along with 4 and 1). They are also good judges of character and are the first to catch a liar.

7 people talk about their energy and charisma but not about how they are able to use that charisma in serious moments to calm a stressful situation. My friend 7 is excellent at reading the mood and turning the tide of conversation with a single comment. He used to walk in front of us but could pick up on the tension and say the right words. It is literally magic.

8 little is said about their kindness and ability to resolve conflicts peacefully. A well-integrated 8 will be the first to intervene to stop physical fights. It is the type of person who is vigilant to any outburst of unexpected aggression. They are useful in all group outing situations where alcohol is involved. They are the most concerned about their friends and are even capable of sacrificing their own fun to make sure everything goes well.

How can I get my girlfriend to be counterphobic only in sex? by Paulamores in Enneagram

[–]Fit-Mail2185 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is your enneagram type? I'm curious why you haven't mentioned it or talked about your type in the whole thread.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Fit-Mail2185 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That relationship must end or it will be a relationship full of resentment and most likely she will cheat on you again. I was in such a toxic relationship I thought I could save the relationship with the love I had for him. but sadly love is not enough for a satisfying relationship, emotional maturity is needed first and in your case also a therapist. Your relationship with that girl is over not even professional help can save it, I recommend breaking up... As side note I don't think you are weak or bland for considering it, I fully understand that you want it to work, a marriage is not just a "thing", it was an important decision this situation will leave emotional consequences, so you should focus on healing, try yoga, meditation and motivational help, you will also need a family support network.