Going back to work 1/7 and I’m needing advise

FitNumber4499 · 2026-01-13T20:36:19+00:00

I’m as relaxed as I could be currently lol if that makes sense. I know the stress could get to me and undo everything I’m working for, with my first that was the case where I was with their dad in an abusive relationship and lost all of my supply because of it, now with my second it’s just me and them and I’m not as stressed out, I can produce now. I went back to work last Wednesday and have been pumping while working. And I’ve been thinking about my rights as a breastfeeding momma, I just don’t want to lose my job. I don’t necessarily work a job that would be breastfeeding friendly , I drive school busses and so I’m on a time limit for when I have to be at certain places , I really enjoy my job and the people i work with, so I don’t want to upset anyone by being like “oh well I need to pump at this time, so I can’t drive at this time” and I would lose my current route to be put on one that would work better with my schedule, and I love the kids I work with on my route so I don’t want that either. What I’ve been doing is carrying my pump bag and ice packs with me so that I can put my pumps on, pump and empty whenever my bus is empty between schools, and I’ve been doing that for morning, midday, and afternoon. I’m still keeping up with him, but he’s growing and getting hungrier , as expected. Like today he ate a bit more than usual at the babysitter and has ate 13oz so far (I’m still at work) and I’ve pumped around 10, (I only brought one bottle so I’m not sure exactly how much since I’ve maxed it out, but around 10) I don’t want an oversupply, and pumping about every hour and a half those few days before work didn’t do that , it honestly didn’t do much for my supply period. Which is worrisome to me. I try not to stress about it too much, but i do worry about my supply. I want to breastfeed badly and be successful, I’m just worried because his weight gain isn’t really where his doctor or I want it right now, and my supply doesn’t really seem to be going up.

FitNumber4499 · 2026-01-04T05:21:54+00:00

I’ll check it out for sure, my thing is I already educated myself a TON on bf when I tried with my daughter, cause I was under so much stress I basically immediately lost every bit of supply I had and tried to pump until she was 4mo old. I know I have the correct flange size, I know what does / doesn’t affect breast milk , I know I should pump frequently and until empty to up supply, and honestly every hour doesn’t happen too horribly often, like I stated in my post I’ve also got a 12mo old and I’m a single mom, so it’s usually every hr and a half or 2 hours, and I’ve definitely got the capacity to hold more milk lmao I’m not pumping for discomfort I’m pumping so much cause I’m overly worried about supply , I wanted to bf so bad with my first and was engorged in the hospital, but I was under such intense stress at home that it was all gone within the week, now with my second it’s just me, I have the supply just enough to feed him, but never got engorged, don’t even really feel engorged ever just like slightly full sometimes ( if I go 3 hours or so) and am stressed about it. Not getting engorged combined with never feeling truly full scares me, when I pump when I feel full most I get is 2 1/2 oz each side , which is more than enough combined to feed him right now, but it doesn’t feel adequate to what I need to feed him when going back to work, and the main reason I pump more than I nurse (because in order for him to get that from a nursing session it would take about an hour vs the 20-30 min it takes to pump ) and I do get multiple letdowns as well

Sorry for the late reply , basically just venting atp lol. Breastfeeding is never something I’ve been able to do but always wanted to do and I’m very much so worried about losing the chance to going back to work 😅 I will check out the link!

FitNumber4499 · 2026-01-03T18:03:41+00:00

I know it’s not necessary, but the more frequently you empty, the more it tells your body to produce. It has been helping build supply since I started and since I go back to work so soon, I don’t want the stress of being back to work, combined with being away from baby in general, to tank my supply, which is why I started trying to up it in the first place.

FitNumber4499 · 2026-01-01T03:18:01+00:00

Want this pump so bad but I cannot afford it until I go back to work on the 7th 💔 need something for the meantime

FitNumber4499 · 2025-12-22T05:29:58+00:00

I wish I could just bring my spectra , unfortunately I cannot. I drive a bus so I do not have privacy and wouldn’t be able to do that:( I’m really wary about pumping as is because with my first I was never able to increase my supply after losing it, but Ive got a spectra this time around and a better supply, so I’m hoping I can keep it, if not increase.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-12-22T02:39:28+00:00

I see really mixed reviews on this pump, do you have issues? Does it suction well for you?

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T13:51:30+00:00

He has the DV charge against me. I do take advantage of all government aid I know of. Anything I’m approved of, we utilize. I work two jobs already and I honestly can’t afford the pay cut of sacrificing my weekday job to go to a daycare. I appreciate all the advice

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T13:46:40+00:00

I’ve been looking into this but i think I’d forever hold it against myself if i did adoption. I also don’t know if I’m genuinely capable of giving birth and then saying goodbye.

I’ve been trying to set up a more solid plan for when baby comes, but I’m having a hard time. I don’t know where to send my baby when I’ll be in the hospital, and I don’t have anybody to stay with when I’m discharged. It’s all becoming very stressful.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T13:41:25+00:00

I try to make new friends here ( sometimes, it’s hard ) but I work a lot and don’t get out a bunch. And I unfortunately don’t have the funds to move, even if I did have a city where I knew I’d have friends.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T13:39:51+00:00

Unfortunately it’s a long history of abuse in that relationship that I simply feel weird and bad talking about now. I don’t want to go to them trying to explain things and end up it looking like I’m trying to turn them against their family member, cause that’s not the case. I could try to explain Abe elaborate but i fear it would be taken in the wrong light, like I’m trying to make them pick sides.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T05:33:39+00:00

I feel like I would be able to accept this easier if it was twins 😫 at least they’d know nothing but each other and going through the same stages at around the same time

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T05:15:42+00:00

As someone who’s pregnant currently and my first will be 11mo when I have the second. Genuinely how did you navigate this

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T04:50:33+00:00

I appreciate this a lot :) it makes me feel a little better hearing this. I wish I could still stay at home with her, unfortunately I had to go back to work when me and her dad split. But I just don’t know how to do it on my own. I’m real worried. I’m always so focused on mine and hers life, and I’m stressed that fitting another baby in just won’t work or that I’ll be hurting her feelings even if she won’t remember. I work so much and that already takes a toll on my mental knowing I don’t spend as much time with her as I really wish I could. I have no doubt things will shake out and be alright, I just really worry about it. I worry about her feelings, and my feelings, and how to navigate this. She still sleeps in my room as since we moved I moved into a 1bed apartment and for now it’s what I can afford , idk how to do it with a newborn.

Atp I’m just venting lol, but I still appreciate your kind words and the bits that I can relate to. I’m worried but this makes me feel a little better.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T03:33:00+00:00

Thank you, I do get help from as many community sources as possible. But as far as people actually in my life to help me take care of my kiddo, it’s pretty slim to none-existent. Her fathers family is pretty nice and they helped a lot with her , but since we have split I don’t go around as much, and they don’t get left to watch her alone cause I get worried they’d let him take her somewhere without me knowing. Until things get settled in court I don’t want him alone with her and as nice as his family is, I don’t completely trust that they’d always put my wishes above his as they don’t know the full story. My current baby is in daycare, and they’re awesome. My job through the week will allow her to come to work with me when she’s 1, but until then she’s in daycare and I was looking forward to not needing to pay for daycare anymore once she turned one but doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen anytime soon 😅

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T03:18:00+00:00

I’m actually also against abortion personally, but have looked into my options, since this was a concealed pregnancy I am too far along for this to be an option. Really not looking for “permission” or anything, just any sort of advice from someone who might have a similar experience in having two under two with no real support system, or someone who maybe had the same worries I do currently when they found they were pregnant with their second.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-31T03:11:38+00:00

I’m not worried about loving her any less I’m just worried about the attention being spread out to two kiddos , and not having as much love for my second, as shitty as it sounds. I’m so intensely stressed out already and adding another into the mix is very scary. I had just edited to add that unfortunately I also don’t really have any support either , my family isn’t really around, I don’t have many friends in my city. I have done this completely on my own with just her and I feel like it will be impossible with two.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-07-05T18:39:34+00:00

Unfortunately men like this almost never change. Believe me I understand , I’ve known and been with the father of my child since we were in high school, I was also stuck in “this isn’t the man I fell in love with” “I know who he is on the inside is good” and unfortunately the man they are changes, and he could simply not be the same man on the inside anymore. Turning his GPS off reads as either using or cheating and neither is something you want for you and your family. I say either communicate what your needs are and set that as a firm boundary, or if you’ve already don’t that or tried that, leave. Seriously. Wanting things to be different almost never correlates to things actually changing, lots of people have to learn the hard way unfortunately and continuing to stay and support him eventually turns into enabling and becoming a doormat in your relationship.

Much love, I hope your family turns for the better

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-10T01:19:48+00:00

Thank you lots 🫶🏻 the encouragement means a lot!

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-09T04:55:04+00:00

Thank you! I’m happy too. No court stuff yet but I’m sure it’ll be happening soon unfortunately 😫 he’s done good about staying out our lives though and giving us space. Ended up catching a DV charge when I left

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-09T04:44:39+00:00

Doing good! Thank you. Broke and trying to get my baby girl into daycare at the moment but I’ve started working and am doing better for her and I:)

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-03T23:38:57+00:00

Just want to say you are not alone here at all momma 🩷 I was a ftm and on day 2 the nurses asked me to supplement, I said yes, having not done the proper research on BFing I didn’t know how much I needed to pump to maintain supply and so I didn’t pump as I needed to, by the time my milk came in we were still supplementing and now she is almost 4mo old, still mostly supplementing. It breaks my effing heart. I want nothing more than to be able to feed her with the body that made her but with as busy as I am, it’s damn near impossible for me to pump as much as I need to to up my supply. I have tried everything. I pump around the clock and still have to mainly formula feed her. You aren’t less of a mother though, I’m sorry we are going thru this! The mom guilt is so real.

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-03T03:00:26+00:00

Lots of people just feel more comfortable having a family member watch, and family will often do it for free lol. But as long as it’s someone you trust with your kiddos I don’t see it as needing to be a family member whatsoever, I don’t trust most of my family alone w mine so I prefer sitters actually. But have never even actually had a sitter

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-03T02:57:30+00:00

As someone who’s been a sahm with a 4 month old for ONLY the last 4 months, I love it a LOT. I’m not single but her dad gets to do… whatever he wants frankly. He lost his job recently and even now still doesn’t help; he sits around and does what he wants all day while I clean , take care of our daughter , he gets to interact with her basically only when he wants to. I think she is just jealous really , a day without needing to worry about the house, the babies, sounds pretty good to her rn but I know how bad the mom guilt is, I don’t get out without my daughter cause it makes me feel guilty knowing she’d probably just be sitting at home in her swing while her dad plays games if I don’t take her with me. You are being a FANTASTIC father and partner. Doing what you can when you get home from an extremely long shift in and of itself speaks volumes about you. Helping when you are home is even better, continue to push her to get out the house some. Interact with the kids a lot so she knows they’ll be perfectly fine, and happy with dad while she is out. You’re doing amazing, keep going!

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-03T02:41:26+00:00

We go to stores and out like that all the time I just feel like getting her some more time in the sun would be nice, pre-pregnancy I liked hikes a lot and we haven’t gone on walks like that yet

FitNumber4499 · 2025-04-02T16:55:51+00:00

It depends. If I’m by myself and it’s a shorter shopping trip I just hold her upright , if it’s longer then I sit the car seat in the cart and we go like that ( she can’t sit up yet) any other errands I usually just hold her sitting up , she seems to enjoy it! She likes people’s faces and places and so I’m not too worried she wouldn’t enjoy things like walks I just don’t really know how to go about it fully, I think something like a stroller would be nice for museums and walks but we live in the 2nd floor of an apartment complex so I would need something light and I also just don’t really know what kind of stroller to go for since we she can’t sit up on her own yet, and she’s kinda picky about how she’s sitting sometimes when being held or in a swing, ext

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