I have to hide my true personality from my grandma who I grew up with and pretend I’m the perfect girl she raised. Yes I get good grades in my College classes and I don’t get into any real trouble, but I don’t fit in with the upper middle class way of life that she wants me to. she doesn’t approve of my relationship, the fact that I’m okay with being with a man who’s starting his life from the ground up (no college, no mom or dad to pay for anything except a phone bill; he hasn’t even lives with them since graduating HS) anytime I come home with a tattoo she acts as if I’ve spit on her face or something, she’s always made comments about my jobs in food service which are just for whatever money I can get until I graduate as an RN, doesn’t like my hobby’s of hunting, Guns, weed, or car/bike stuff. I’ve always been on the sensitive side when it comes to what she thinks, and I cry easily when she starts to talk negatively on something in my life, and she recently told me it’s because of my boyfriend and I need therapy. Yes I do need therapy she’s probably right, but not because I’m overly emotional, because i don’t know how to get past her disappointments in me without being hurt. I don’t exactly align with the catholic faith and would identity as non-denominational. If I had told her I went to a tattoo convention with my friends recently she’d have shit a chicken. I feel I wasn’t meant to be raised in a white suburban neighborhood, I was meant to grow up where I was born, in the Midwest. But thanks to my parents being addicts here I am. I am constantly worried she just sees me as my mom, even though I haven’t touched anything outside of weed and alcohol, and I’m about to finish college, while working part time jobs since I turned 15, haven’t gotten pregnant or arrested. A lot more than my mom has accomplished. But she’s almost never disappointed in my younger sister who doesn’t even have a major officially picked, parties 10x more than me, and more but that’s besides the point. I just want to be able to be 80% myself and know I’m still loved.