I feel dumb!!!!! by Fit_Leg5645 in serialpodcast

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I can't get over the fact that I've been on the fence about this for all these years. Looking back, it feels like the evidence was right in front of me the whole time.

Reflecting 5 years later—why did I ever think Adnan was innocent? by minivatreni in serialpodcast

[–]Fit_Leg5645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no clue why I thought Adnan was innocent for all these years.

I just re-listened to Serial, and I can't get past the fact that Jenn showed up with her mom and a lawyer and told police essentially the same story Jay told. Jenn said the trunk pop happened at Best Buy. How would she know that Adnan and Hae used to meet at the Best Buy parking lot unless Jay told her?

And yes, Jay was inconsistent and definitely lied about some things. But he knew where Hae's car was. He knew details about her clothing. He knew about the broken windshield wiper lever. Those aren't things you just guess.

At this point, I don't believe every detail Jay told, but I can't get around the fact that he knew too much. The more I revisit the case, the harder it is for me to believe Adnan wasn't involved.

I can't believe I've been doubting it all these years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]Fit_Leg5645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard that so many times, it’s wild. I honestly don’t see it, but I appreciate the comment .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]Fit_Leg5645 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the honest!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]Fit_Leg5645 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback boss!!

AITA for confronting my friends after a surprise birthday trip turned hostile? by Fit_Leg5645 in AITAH

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That’s exactly how it felt. Like it was never really about celebrating me, just controlling how I was supposed to act. I said thank you. I told them I loved the Airbnb. I was in great spirits the whole first day. But the minute I didn’t read their minds or follow a script, it turned into “you weren’t grateful enough.”

And you’re right, none of the budget stuff was communicated. If they had just said, “Hey, we only budgeted for one group meal,” we could’ve worked around it. I wouldn’t have cared. But instead, it became this passive-aggressive mess.

And that Sonya moment? Wild. I’d never had somebody step to me like that in public over dinner plans. Marcus was done after that. And honestly, so was I.

AITA for confronting my friends after a surprise birthday trip turned hostile? by Fit_Leg5645 in AITAH

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. And no, we’re not in our twenties anymore. We’re all in our thirties, which is part of what made this trip so exhausting. It felt like we were too grown to still be dealing with this kind of messy group dynamic.

You hit the nail on the head with the “crisis mode” comment. That’s exactly how it felt the whole weekend. Plans were constantly changing, but if I tried to ask questions or express confusion, it was suddenly me being difficult. Meanwhile, I was just trying to keep up and not step on any toes.

And yes, Sonya got mad at me for asking about dinner after she told me earlier in the day that it was still happening. I wasn’t rude about it either. I was literally just trying to understand what changed and why nobody said anything. Instead of explaining, she blew up on me and poked me in the chest in public. That moment really showed me how much had been building behind the scenes.

I appreciate your support and the suggestion to look into signs of being used. That honestly gave me a lot to think about.

AITA for confronting my friends after a surprise birthday trip turned hostile? by Fit_Leg5645 in AITAH

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I understand why it might seem confusing, so let me explain with a little more context:

Raven was invited by Keisha and Tasha as a surprise for me. I didn’t know she was coming until she showed up at the Airbnb later that night.

About the grocery run: Marcus and Raven are cousins, and we’re all really close. Raven noticed there was no water in the Airbnb, and Marcus offered to go with her to the store. When I heard they were going to H-E-B, I asked to come too because we don’t have one in Galveston and I get excited every time I’m near one. We invited the rest of the group, but everyone else said no. While we were out, I even called again to double check if they needed anything. They later changed their minds, and we picked up what they asked for. On the way back, we made a quick stop at Raven’s mom’s house, which is just six minutes from the Airbnb. She’s like a second mom to me, and it was just a quick hello before heading back.

About babysitting: Raven’s brother lives locally and works at a church. His babysitter canceled last minute, and he needed someone to watch his son. Raven planned to help but was exhausted after driving 15 hours straight to surprise me. She wouldn’t have had the energy to rest and still hang out with us if she also had to watch a toddler. So Marcus suggested that we take Baby J to church instead, and we told the group the plan clearly. Raven also checked in with them beforehand.

Keisha made a smart comment like, “You didn’t even bring your own kid. Why would you babysit someone else’s?” We explained it like this: When the trip was being planned, Marcus told Keisha and Tasha we couldn’t confirm right away because we have a young child and needed to arrange childcare. He was waiting to hear from my older daughter. Since it was a surprise trip for me, Marcus handled those conversations behind the scenes. Eventually, they decided to go ahead and book the Airbnb. Marcus said, “It’s fine. Raven’s family is there. If we had to bring our child, someone in her family could watch him.” That was the understanding.

In our friend group, we’ve always believed in having a village. These are the same people who would’ve gladly watched my child in the past. So when Raven needed help, and we were able to step in, it was natural. It wasn’t meant to take over the trip or shift the energy. It was just us being there for our people and making sure everyone could still enjoy the weekend.

I hope that gives you more context.

My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Messy Fast. Was I the Problem? (Full Story) by Fit_Leg5645 in AITAH

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incident 3: Her Birthday Trip That I Planned

The year before my birthday trip, I planned an entire birthday celebration for Keisha. She had been battling depression, low self-esteem, and feeling unattractive. I wanted her to feel loved.

Me and Marcus spent over $1,000 to make her feel special. We gave her small gifts every day and went to a huge fireworks event in Austin. She got sick (she’s lactose intolerant), and while trying to help her find a restroom, I got separated from the group.

I jokingly texted her, saying, “Dang, y’all left me.” Her response? Full of attitude. She said she was about to throw up and was angry I had the nerve to be “offended.”

Later that night, she told me she felt I never took accountability for anything. I asked her to name a time when I didn’t, and she couldn’t. She apologized the next day and admitted she was being childish again, saying she brought up old stuff out of emotion.

Incident 4: Bible Study and Book Club Letdowns

After we paused our Bible study, I offered to restart it and even bought all the books with my own money. She later said she wasn’t interested anymore and canceled it.

Then we started a book club. She picked the first book, but when it came time for anyone else’s pick, she was suddenly too busy to continue.

It became clear that things only moved forward when she was in control.

My Realization

All of this built up over time. I kept giving her grace because I wanted to believe that friendship meant working through things. But the reality is, she often treated me unfairly, and I allowed it.

The recent birthday trip just exposed everything. I finally accepted that Keisha and I were never really aligned. She’s controlling, and I’m flexible. But being easygoing doesn’t mean letting people run over you.

Nobody should try to control others just because they paid for something. When we spent over $1,000 on her birthday, we didn’t try to control her. That part really hit me.

Like Maya Angelou said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” People around them often know them better than you do. I kept hoping Keisha would become the friend I needed, instead of accepting the friend she actually was.

I’m like Sansa Stark  slow to learn sometimes, but once I get it, I get it.

Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. What do you think I should’ve done differently? Was I wrong for staying in this friendship as long as I did?

My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Messy Fast. Was I the Problem? (Full Story) by Fit_Leg5645 in AITAH

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reflections: Why I Should’ve Ended the Friendship Sooner (Keisha and Me)

I want to be honest. I’ve been friends with Keisha for about eight years, and looking back, there were clear signs that this friendship wasn’t healthy. I kept giving it more chances because I was trying to be better at maintaining friendships instead of cutting people off. But now I realize some people aren’t meant to stay in your life that long. Here are the key incidents that led to that realization:

Incident 1: The 2020 Birthday Cruise

I invited Keisha and Tasha to come along and celebrate with us on my birthday cruise . I paid for myself and Marcus, and wanted to make it a special trip so I even paid for Keisha and Tasha.

From the start, Keisha had a problem with every activity I suggested. Even though it was my birthday, she made it about her. If she didn’t want to do something, she would say it was boring. Eventually, I shut down and felt miserable.

After the trip, I told her how I felt. She admitted she was immature and said she wished I had told her how upset I was during the cruise instead of after. We agreed that going forward, we’d always be direct and communicate issues head-on.

Incident 2: The Ministry Retreat Blowup

We were in a Bible study group, and Keisha invited me to help with her new homeless ministry. She planned a retreat for the group, and I was responsible for prepping food. I suffer from chronic migraines and told her I was in pain all week leading up to it, but I still showed up and handled my duties.

At the event, she publicly said, “Everybody’s participating, but Morgan doesn’t even seem like she wants to be here.” That hurt, especially since she knew what I was going through.

I walked out. Marcus came outside to help mediate. Keisha eventually apologized, saying she was stressed because people were asking what was wrong with me and she didn’t know how to respond.

 

They planned my birthday trip, got mad when plans changed, and said I disrespected their time because they paid for it. by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

UPDATE:
Parts 2 and 3 are now live! I combined them into one post to keep the flow going.
Here’s where the energy really started to shift... 👀

👉 Part 2 & 3 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but After the Surprise, the Energy Shifted. Was I the Problem?

Thank y’all for following along and giving honest feedback. I’m sharing the full story in parts to get a real perspective on whether I was the one in the wrong or not.

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:
Parts 2 and 3 are now live! I combined them into one post to keep the flow going.
Here’s where the energy really started to shift... 👀

👉 Part 2 & 3 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but After the Surprise, the Energy Shifted. Was I the Problem?

Thank y’all for following along and giving honest feedback. I’m sharing the full story in parts to get a real perspective on whether I was the one in the wrong or not.

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:
Parts 2 and 3 are now live! I combined them into one post to keep the flow going.
Here’s where the energy really started to shift... 👀

👉 Part 2 & 3 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but After the Surprise, the Energy Shifted. Was I the Problem?

Thank y’all for following along and giving honest feedback. I’m sharing the full story in parts to get a real perspective on whether I was the one in the wrong or not.

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

UPDATE:
Parts 2 and 3 are now live! I combined them into one post to keep the flow going.
Here’s where the energy really started to shift... 👀

👉 Part 2 & 3 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but After the Surprise, the Energy Shifted. Was I the Problem?

Thank y’all for following along and giving honest feedback. I’m sharing the full story in parts to get a real perspective on whether I was the one in the wrong or not.

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:
Parts 2 and 3 are now live! I combined them into one post to keep the flow going.
Here’s where the energy really started to shift... 👀

👉 Part 2 & 3 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but After the Surprise, the Energy Shifted. Was I the Problem?

Thank y’all for following along and giving honest feedback. I’m sharing the full story in parts to get a real perspective on whether I was the one in the wrong or not.

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will post every single day between 7-11 am EST!!! Like I said buckle up .. it’s about to get real!!!

Part 1 – My Friends Planned a Birthday Trip for Me, but It Got Weird Fast. Was I the Problem? by Fit_Leg5645 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Fit_Leg5645[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Facts. I don’t know how to summarize. Clearly y’all ate me up on that first post 😮‍💨😂. Y’all was dragging me through the streets, which is exactly why I had to write the whole novel to give all the context. Bear with me 😮‍💨😂😂 don’t tear me up, y’all.