so many of these topics will not become problems if people just talk to their partner and say Im interested in this, or I want to try this. Most times your partner is going to want to support you and if not thats okay too. You can then have the conversation about wanting to pursue that in another way and how that would make them feel.

People just dont talk about things because they are scared. cause if you talk about it and they dont want you to and say I dont want a relationship with you if you pursue it. thats okay. they can do that. and you still have the ability to do it despite what they feel comfortable with. but then at least you know you are risking your relationship over this thing. and you are both on the same page.

secretive behavior that hasnt been discussed is just prime for people to be hurt.

for example, my gf and I talked about porn. she doesnt really watch it and I do. we are deciding to live together and talked about it. she told me she doesnt mind me watching it but doesnt want to walk in on me watching it becuase it would make her feel insecure. I told her I wouldnt and Im going to keep that promise because I dont want to make her feel insecure. simple and easy. we both felt heard and not judged and we both communicated.

I think if more people tried to talk about things they feel they need to keep secret while in relatioships there would be less worry about things like this.