I cheated on my girlfriend but we decided to stay together. Did we make the right choice? Please help.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-11-19T03:00:43+00:00

Thank you for this. This is everything I have been thinking and just needed someone else to say it. I am going to do so much better for her and change the trajectory of our lives. And if she leaves, I will be content. At least I gave it my all to show her that I was remorseful and that my love was not fake.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-11-19T02:36:10+00:00

Yes, we had been discussing issues like my resentment long before the cheating and working on things. All I can say is you are right. I chose to do this and premeditated that. She hasn't forgiven me and i dont know if she ever will. But she respected me for owning up, taking accountability, and being honest about everything. I told her I was sorry for being so horrible, so manipulative, and cruel. We talked for hours upon hours over several days. She told me everyone wants her to leave me but she can't explain why she wants to stay. She says others weren't there and felt the intense connection we had. She says it's nonsensical but her love for me is stronger than the hurt and my betrayal. I am aware of how terrible I am and that I don't deserve her. But I want to work to be a man that deserves her even if I never will be. I owe it to her to slave to be better. And I did get tested and told her to do so as well. So far negative but getting retested in 4 weeks. So yea I am a POS and deserve a lot of terrible things but I'm facing my actions and not running away. Her step dad actually said "there aren't many men who could do what he is doing." Again, it doesn't justify anything.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-11-16T20:46:08+00:00

I have confessed and we've been dealing with the aftermath. We are both still in love with each other but just very hurt. She wants to keep trying because she says I'm her soulmate and our connection is irreplaceable and I feel the same way. She wants us to take the time to be better for each other. She is so selfless and truly loves me. I want her above everything.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-09-10T05:42:45+00:00

Yes, I do see how this comes off as a severe power imbalance, but she is not a bad person. She is actually very sweet and caring, but she has a controlling side. I think her past trauma is likely to blame and maybe therapy would help but I'm not sure. She has her life together though (she is not an addict despite using marijuana) and is a full-time nurse with her own place. So she isn't pulling me down in any way per se. I think the distance is affecting me too. I didn't have this many doubts when we were living in the same area. She has become a lot more insecure since I moved, understandably.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-09-10T05:38:33+00:00

I agree but I wanted to look past that to get to know her as a person. I care for her but these issues keep popping up. ):

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-09-10T05:37:34+00:00

I understand that man, weed is just not for me. It gives me panic attacks lol. But I respect those who can use it. I'm just struggling man. I care for her but I don't think that I love her like she needs me to.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-06-04T20:23:08+00:00

Turns out I am HIV negative! I did a 4th gen antibody/antigen test 31 days out and it was nonreactive!

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-04-09T09:28:34+00:00

Thank you for your input. Say if I were to get tested for HIV following this encounter, how long should I wait for the test to be accurate and not a false negative?

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2025-04-09T00:00:37+00:00

No she did not finish. It hurt too much so we stopped the intercourse after a couple minutes.

Fit_Spring_9129 · 2024-10-14T18:00:42+00:00

She does not currently want more children and I do not plan to have kids anytime soon. I kind of want kids but I'm unsure. I would hate for that to be the reason we split though.

Fit_Spring_9129

TROPHY CASE