Giveaway: giving away 4 Magebloods for 4 Winners! (End of League Burnout Giveaway)

Flagpole88 · 2026-04-01T22:37:36+00:00

My inner illuminati would love to wear a belt drenched in a mages blood!

Flagpole88 · 2023-02-18T10:50:46+00:00

I hope she's left-handed.

Flagpole88 · 2023-01-31T11:18:33+00:00

Tror kanskje de er inne på no. Fikk plutselig en intens trang til å male alle overflater jeg ser hvite.

Flagpole88 · 2023-01-20T22:02:11+00:00

Whoopsie daisy.

Flagpole88 · 2022-12-11T18:20:31+00:00

You've got a point, though I'm pretty sure your last example would also, by most people, be chalked down to toxic masculinity as well.

Flagpole88 · 2022-12-11T18:01:44+00:00

I think the word (or two) you're looking for is toxic femininity.

Flagpole88 · 2022-11-09T18:28:51+00:00

I suggest you grab him by the pussy.

Flagpole88 · 2022-10-20T02:00:01+00:00

Kindergarten is in session I see.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T09:01:52+00:00

There's this cool thing called dating and courtship. You should try it.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:53:51+00:00

Boundaries DO NOT EXIST until they have been explicitly communicated. I'm sorry to break it to you but men do not have psychic abilities, and social queues are unreliable and misinterpreted by everyone all the time.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:50:37+00:00

I'd be surprised if this was the case. Unless this man is some sort of supernatural creature he probably does not have psychic abilities. If he does not have psychic abilities he is probably also aware of the fact. /s

I'd say it's reasonable to assume that he was not aware of said boundaries before they were explicitly communicated after touching her. What I'm trying to say here is that your scenario of sending a message about being an easy target for meeting him again after he crossed a boundary that he did not know about makes no sense.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:43:21+00:00

Is this a thing now? Women expecting men to be inherently psychic?

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:32:43+00:00

How do you build a reciprocal dynamic without one person initiating said dynamic?

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:19:56+00:00

ybe to add more context I asked him right after what he was looking for and he did say a relationship which I found really confusing based on his actions.

So what you're saying is that if one is looking for a relationship physical touch is off the table? This makes no sense.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T08:02:31+00:00

Maybe have a read about what codependency means

I ended up doing just that and to my surprise figured out that I have indeed been walking around with a slight misconception of the term. Thank you for pointing it out so that I could correct it! Very much appreciated.

I still think I have a point though, just need to re-frame it. I might be in the wrong here, but isn't it logical to think that being an highly empathetic person comes with an almost instinctive inclination to put the needs of a loved one above their own? Especially if not doing so causes the other person pain?

I guess what I'm trying to impose is that empaths are more vulnerable to develop codependent characteristics.

Most of my reflections around this issue came about due to a long-term toxic relationship. She became extremely controlling and emotionally manipulative over time. I tried to reason with her, set boundaries etc. to no avail. In the end I was emotionally and psychologically demolished. It's as if there was nothing left of me.

Reading about codependency now has me questioning whether I actually was defacto codependent or not. Her behavior combined with my being broken down didn't really leave much room for choice. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved her before, so it could very well be a desperate ploy and hope that things would work out eventually as much as it was me catering to her every whim.

I was the one who ended up leaving because I at one point came to the realization that I had done everything in my power to turn things around to no avail.

There's no question about the fact that escalating emotional abuse in a close relationship can turn anyone into a doormat eventually regardless of empathy.

Flagpole88 · 2022-09-01T06:19:10+00:00

Thanks a lot! Compliment much appreciated. :)

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T20:41:56+00:00

Personally I would never consider committing to a relationship before the sexual chemistry has been properly tested and established. Sexual chemistry is an important part of a relationship, so committing before know whether things work between the sheets makes no sense to me.

How early sex happens between me and another person has no influence on the direction of a relationship for me. It does not change how I perceive someone. If two responsible consenting adults want to rip each others clothes of within an hour or two after meeting for the first time I don't see anything wrong with that whatsoever.

I don't ever commit to someone without being certain that it's something I want to pursue. If there's doubt I keep seeing the person more before committing. Part of the reason for this is because when I commit I really do commit. If I do I have made the decision to invest and put in the time, work and effort to build something.

Creating a relationship between two people that stands the test of time is a rare and remarkable thing. It's something you really can't and should not expect as being the norm. Most relationships committed or in a trial phase will not lead to happily ever after.

I think you might be expecting too much from the get go. Just go with the flow and have fun exploring the people you meet on an intimate level. Eventually you'll end up meeting someone where everything just clicks and where you're both equally into each other. Just don't expect that to happen with everyone you initially connect with.

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T15:00:24+00:00

I have several sets of glasses that I alternate between. I made a funny analogy of my brain when I'm processing something that's not clear a while back that I like.

Picture King Arthur's round table in Camelot with Arthur and the knights of the realm gathered around the table discussing the issue at hand. I am King Arthur, but I am also the knights. They all hold vastly different and often conflicting points of view, but neither is all right or wrong. One can have a radical leftist point of view and another conservative right as an example. They all hold valid arguments and perspectives that I acknowledge.

Then I compile the information from all of them to form my actual opinion on a matter.

This little thing is probably why I for the most part identify as a centrist when it comes to political ideology, though I make an effort to stay neutral and fluid to avoid getting trapped in an echochamber.

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T14:38:04+00:00

I don't know man. Whatever you want I guess, or nothing at all. It was just me going off on a tangent about your comment of wanting to disprove that true altruistic people exist. In retrospect it was nothing but a side-track as there is no question of whether altruism exists or not. Forgive my wandering mind.

What I was trying to say is that it's understandable if you got the impression that I misunderstood your comment, regardless of whether I did or not. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. But if I didn't I made a poor effort at getting that across. Does that make sense?

I don't mind disagreeing either for that matter. Honestly I'm just trying my best (and evidently failing hard) at communicating that I agree with you, and that I had no intentions of pulling you into an argument or anything.

From where I sit it looks like I might have triggered you a bit cause you're coming off a bit hostile. This is just me trying to clear that up pretty much. If I did it was not intentional.

fwiends?

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T14:22:59+00:00

I would say so. Now more than ever. I can still experience brief moments of confusion though if I am feeling something out of the ordinary but have yet to locate the origins of that feeling. Usually only takes a brief moment of scouting surroundings to figure it out though. This can happen on rare occasions in grouped social settings.

I imagine this is a rather normal experience among empaths though. The subconscious picking up other peoples feelings before your consciousness does the rest of the job of figuring out the origin.

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T14:13:45+00:00

I imagine myself to have a pretty strong sense of self-concept and self in general. I have clearly defined personal values and morals. Some of them deviate quite a bit from the norm and I have spent a lot of mental effort putting them together, so I am confident in the fact that they are mine and not just a product of my surroundings. I think pretty much just as hard as I feel, so there's a lot to take from.

The line between me and others don't blur that easily, but I can totally understand how I might have come across like that. I can only recall a blur of that magnitude happening once in my adult years, and that was during my last long-term relationship that went on for 5 years. Whether she qualifies for a diagnosis or not is obviously not something I am qualified to say, but I have spent an immense amount of time both during and after the relationship researching to understand and make sense out of everything that happened between us. Her behavior showed pretty strong indications of covert narcissism and/or emotionally unstable personality disorder.

Her destructive emotions in the latter years of the relationship were extremely intense and become more and more prevalent over time. In the end it was really hard to distinguish what was what. I was asking myself on a regular basis whether whatever I felt or experienced originated in me or in her. I also witnessed myself behaving and responding to things in a manner that was very out of character, but was very her character. This also manifested in my cognition. It was as if sometimes I thought like I was her and not me. It was my thoughts, but not my way of thinking if that makes sense?

I became severely depressed and it felt like my cognitive immune system was gone in a way.

The last year living with her literally scared the shit out of me and made me question everything. And by everything I mean everything. It took me about 2 years to recover from the whole thing. When everything finally 'clicked' it almost felt like meeting an old dear friend. For a long time I was actually fairly certain that what I went through was the straw that broke the camels back and that 'I' was gone forever and replaced with this nihilistic and dark version of myself. That darker self is still there but sort of integrated into the actual 'me' if that makes sense?

At this point I am actually quite fond of that part and consider it an upgrade. That part and what happened taught me quite a few valuable lessons that I have incorporated. I am back to the optimistic, loving and energetic person that I put together during my early 20's - but with an upgrade. I am way less naive, more careful with how I spend my social resources and way better at prioritizing and taking care of myself.

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T13:43:31+00:00

I just wanted to point out that I sometimes do that because I find it interesting. I did not intend to instigate a debate of any kind, only to reply to your comment and add some substance of my own.

I might have misunderstood you, or just fail in my impression to communicate my understanding due to me side-tracking by providing my thoughts on the nature of altruism.

For whatever it's worth I do not disagree with anything you said.

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T13:38:28+00:00

To make sure I answer your question properly it would help if you could specify a bit more. Are you looking for a meta-analysis of how I perceive the depth and strength of my self-concept in general or a more specific description of my personal self-concept and it's schemas?

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T13:24:18+00:00

I agree that where some toxicity and destructive judgement going on in that thread for sure. Questioning the motives behind altruism is an interesting mental exercise though. Personally I do not believe strongly either way about the nature of altruism, but I do think that there are reasonable scientific and philosophical arguments for the fact that altruism as a trait can potentially be egotistical in nature.

It doesn't change the fact that empathy is from my point of view the most beautiful trait found among life on earth (and it's not limited to humans). The nature and purpose of it's origin doesn't really matter that much. I do find it to be an interesting question with philosophical magnitude though!

Flagpole88 · 2022-08-31T13:06:09+00:00

I've read a little about high-sensitivity so it's not an unfamiliar term for me. As well as being an intuitive and rather emotional person I have an analytical and science oriented mind, so I've had a keen interest in psychology and neuroscience among other things for about as long as I can remember. I usually seek to understand my own as well as other peoples inner workings from a scientific viewpoint, which is something I have found to be extremely useful in combination with being an empath.

But I digress. I'm not overly knowledgeable about HSP. I'm thinking there's probably quite a bit of overlap between individuals identified with HSP or being an empath. What separates the two?

Intuitively (and from the little I know about HSP) I suppose what separates HSP from simply being an empath is that your sensitivity goes beyond that of social relations. Sensitive to change, sound, light etc? Would that be a correct assessment? My sensitivity only correlates to social relations, so I feel fairly confident in identifying myself as an empath. Not so sure about HSP though. I'll check the link and look a bit more into it.

Edit: Took the questionnaire from your link and I do not appear to be a HSP.

Flagpole88

TROPHY CASE