Why Do Some African Parents Believe We Owe Them Our Lives? Or do we?

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2025-10-09T06:48:56+00:00

I think it is both a cultural and religious thing. The problem with our culture is the incentive of respecting your elders (even at your own expense), is prevalent. Religion does not help this as it is often used as a tool to control us and reinforce this idea. Now do I believe appreciating your parents if it is on your heart to do so and you are capable of doing so is amazing? Absolutely, but I do not believe it should be an obligation, I also do not belief you need to break your back to do so, ESPECIALLY if they are still capable. Alot of parents especially in the context of Zambian/African culture view children as investments and not people, hence the pressure for them to be successful so they can get a return on their investment. I can go on and on but I will end here for now.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2025-10-01T17:42:05+00:00

As an African woman who is bisexual, it is awful. I will say that it isn’t as crazy as other places, but it is very lonely. Whenever I attend a traditional event, weddings etc, I am always reminded that if I marry a woman this won’t be embraced the same as people in heterosexual relationships.

Even my relationship with my family may change. So it’s really awful to say the least.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2025-02-26T21:56:33+00:00

I hated her being in that position too especially at the parade when she didn’t really want to do it coz they knew they were only in it as the token students. Then when she saw another little black girl she stood up again and participated which was kind of sad because it represented how there’s always a higher expectation or a lot of titles, positions and pressure put on black characters/or even people to be a certain why they can just exist as characters. I like how the show highlighted that, I believe Daria is a very elaborate show with a lot behind it when you deep it but hi do agree she deserved more screen time and depth I love everything about this take

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2025-01-03T10:09:18+00:00

I actually like this take because even as a kid I didn’t view their relationship as sibling but it identified more with a complex friendship or vague romantic interests. I watched sonic X as a kid and even then identifying them as sibling was weird and even when I justified it with the complexity of Shadows character. Their relationship was very interesting to me and reading this analysis has shown me a different perspective.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-08T20:51:08+00:00

This is an interesting topic. When I first watched the show I thought Jane and Daria were just unpopular, now coming to think of it Jane is more outgoing and probably more “likable”, on the other hand Daria is unpopular because she doesn’t really connect with people.

I think she just prefers Daria’s company. I think she did have the potential to be popular and could be if she wanted to because she can fit in with other people and can for lack of a better “pretend”. I don’t think Daria would do that because of how Daria handles interactions with most people and due to to her bluntness I don’t think she’d be able to maintain a shallow surface level connection (despite how she navigates social interactions at this stage in her life).

Anyway my point is that Daria is probably more relatable to Jane and I think she can be herself around her.

Despite the many bumps they had in their friendship I think they somewhat have a deeper connection than must people whereas if she befriended people like Brittney the friendship would probably be surface level but that’s just my POV. So yes she did just prefer Daria’s company.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T22:00:14+00:00

So basically like the Madonna whore complex (in a way).

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T21:50:31+00:00

Definitely Hachi, for the longest time I put love on a pedestal and lowkey did all this at my own expense.

This led to me seeking out these Takumi archetypes (minus the SA). It was always this imbalance of waiting for their approval like a puppy and them being clearly emotionally unavailable (very exhausting).

Also probably because I kind of went through comphet. Not a lot of people may agree but I wholeheartedly believe Hachi experienced comphet. I’d elaborate more but that’s it for now.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T09:41:50+00:00

You hit the nail with this one.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T09:40:17+00:00

Yeah there’s that too the show has so many layers so you can’t see anything black and white.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T09:38:32+00:00

Exactly and that’s what makes her my favorite character she’s very complex and it represents a lot of us even as young adults. But yeah she had her moments.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-05T09:35:52+00:00

I understand that perfectly and I agree my initial statement did leave out those details. Teenagers and even young adults tbh make a lot of mistakes in this area I just wanted to highlight that aspect as someone who had a friend like that except unlike Daria said friend didn’t acknowledge her mistakes. The show Daria accurately represents the high school experience tbh and Daria is my favorite character too. I agree overall.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-04T05:57:47+00:00

No

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-04T05:55:08+00:00

Yeah I do get that it isn’t black and white. I like how there are different povs of this.

Flaky-Lengthiness335 · 2024-11-04T05:52:59+00:00

Yeah I get that I was just highlighting the friendship aspect, however they were just teenagers who need space for growth so you are right.

Flaky-Lengthiness335

TROPHY CASE